Um, God, I think there's a problem with some of your designs. Jeffery, the only problem is your lack of understanding.

I'm God. My designs are perfect. Okay?

Perfect nightmares maybe. What the hell are you talking about?

Well, take this one. Sharp teeth, razor-like claws...this thing is made for killing, God.

Why would you design something like this, if death isn't going to exist?

Oh I was just messing around, Jeffery. That's not a final final draft.

Oh I was just messing around, Jeffery. That's not a final final draft.

Oh I was just messing around, Jeffery. That's not a final final draft.

Oh I was just messing around, Jeffery. That's not a final final draft. And, uh, this one?

Um...He doesn't actually eat meat.

*Roar* *Fart* You were saying? Oh he just likes angel food.

It's not just that, God. It's man himself. The digestive system, the immune system, I mean all these things suggest that he can die, but how can he die if sin doesn't enter the world?

It's almost like you based all your design decisions on sin. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you NEED sin in order for your designs to work. I...uh...Don't be ridiculous, Jeffery.

He's not going to sin. I'll just tell him not to

eat from the completely unnecessary Tree of Knowledge that I created.

Hey...where is the Tree of Knowledge anyway? Don't worry, God. I took care of that. I put it way over here.

*Music*

*Music*

No no no...I think it would be much more...um...aesthetically pleasing in a more...uh...central location.

What?! Jeffery, why the hell did you make the tree so damn tall?

Well, I figured if the forbidden fruit was out of reach... UGH! What the hell is that stink?!

That's the forbidden fruit. I figured I'd make it as unappealing as possible...

There, much better. Smells like freshly baked cookies. God, honestly,

I think my way was a lot better. I mean, it's like you want them to eat this fruit or something.

What? Jeffery, don't be ridiculous. Oh I almost forgot the most important thing!

What? The ultra persuasive malicious sneaky serpent. *Slap*

Okay. Remember. Be full of fruit...uh I mean

be FRUIT FULL and multiply. Multiply? And uh exactly how do we do that?

Remember when we couldn't find a suitable animal for you to fuck, so I created Eve?

Too fat. Too Skinny. Hello, baby. NO!

Yeah. Sex. Have sex with Eve here and in around

nine months another human being will emerge from her vagina.

Holy shit! That sounds like it'll feel really strange.

Oh don't worry. Childbirth isn't painful...

Yet. *Chuckle*

Um...ah...ah...One last thing. You can eat from any tree in the garden...

Even that one over there? Yep.

You can eat from every tree except one. Do not eat from the Tree of Knowledge or you

will die. Die? What does that mean?

ha ha as long as you don't eat from this tree, you won't have to worry about it, kid.

Okay, God. Whatever you say. We promise we won't eat from this tree.

Cool. I'm gonna take off now, so I'm not going to see what you're doing, and uh you're going to be on your own. Got it?

You're not thinking about eating from this tree are you?

Oh no! I would never! God said not to. Good. Don't.

Everything goes to shit if you do.

So that's what die means.

Yeah. Look, you guys got it pretty damn good. You don't have to do jack shit except prance

around in the buff and fuck. But if you eat from this tree, that all ends. Capish?

Yeah, serpent, we got it. We weren't going to eat from it anyway.

God specifically told us not to eat from it right before he left us alone with it.

I mean it's not like he was using reverse psychology on us or anything. Okay. Sorry. Have fun you two.

*Romantic Music*

*Porn-like Music*

*Large crowd chatter*

Um...Adam, I sure am glad that you haven't eaten this forbidden fruit. Sure, God. No problem. Even though it's really tasty.

Actually it was easy not to eat it. I gave up eating like 700 years ago.

What? Why? Because shit is stinky that's why. I figured

it out. No eating means no shitting. What the hell do I even have to eat for anyway

right? *Grim Music*

Eat the fucking fruit!