NOT THAT WE'D KNOW IT, 'CAUSE IT IS HOT.

all: IT IS. - IT'S REALLY, REALLY HOT.

YESTERDAY I BOUGHT A CARTON OF COOKIE DOUGH ICE CREAM.

I GOT HOME. IT WAS COOKIES.

[laughter]

COOKED.

IN L.A., THE ONLY WAY WE KNOW THAT IT'S FALL

IS BECAUSE EVERYTHING STARTS TO TASTE LIKE PUMPKIN SPICE.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.

THAT'S THE ONLY WAY WE CAN TELL IT'S HAPPENING.

FOR SOME REASON,

THAT IS THE ONLY GOURD THAT SOMEONE WAS INTERESTED

IN MAKING A SPICE FROM.

YOU DON'T HEAR BUTTERNUT SQUASH OR ZUCCHINI SPICE.

IT'S SOME--PUMPKIN SPICE IS IN EVERYTHING.

IT'S LIKE--THERE'S THE PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES.

THERE'S--

[cheers and applause]

POPULAR. VERY POPULAR.

WHOEVER CAME UP WITH THAT IDEA IS A SMART, SMART

PUMPKIN SPICE COOKIE.

BUT THEY PUT IN, LIKE--

THERE'S PUMPKIN SPICE BUTTER NOW.

THERE'S PUMPKIN SPICE PRINGLES.

HAVE YOU TASTED THOSE? YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THOSE.

EVEN THE PUMPKIN IS LIKE, "THIS HAS GOTTEN OUT OF HAND.

THIS IS-- I'M NOT THAT TASTY."

I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENS,

BUT THERE ARE CERTAIN FOODS THAT BECOME TRENDY.

LIKE, RIGHT--I LOVE KALE. I LOVE KALE.

I ALWAYS HAVE LOVED KALE, BUT KALE IS EVERYWHERE.

AND WITHIN--YOU KNOW, LIKE, HERE'S THE THING.

KALE IS POPULAR, AND SO IS BIG BUTTS,

AND I'M HAVING A HARD TIME KEEPING MY BIG BUTT

UP WITH EATING MY KALE.

THERE'S ALSO A SECOND WHERE IT SEEMED LIKE

EVERYBODY LOVED GLUTEN-FREE STUFF,

LIKE WE WERE ON THE BRINK OF A GLUTEN ALLERGY EPIDEMIC

OR SOMETHING.

AND THEN PEOPLE TASTED GLUTEN-FREE COOKIES,

AND THEY WERE LIKE, "HALLELUJAH, I'M HEALED!"

LIKE THAT.

[cheers and applause]

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU JUST-- HALLELUJAH

OR THERE'S A CLAP, I'VE NEVER KNOW.

THERE ARE ALL THESE TRENDS, BUT HERE'S THE THING.

BACK IN THE '50s-- I DON'T KNOW

IF ANYBODY REMEMBERS THE '50s,

BUT THERE WAS A TREND

WHERE YOU COULDN'T GO TO A DINNER PARTY

WITHOUT HAVING SOME KIND OF A LOAF OR A MOLD.

DO YOU REMEMBER?

OH, AND THE MOLDS WERE ON THE WALL

AS DECORATION, BECAUSE THEY WERE VERY PRETTY.

IF IT SOUNDS TERRIBLE, IT'S BECAUSE IT WAS.

I FOUND SOME COOKBOOKS,

AND THESE ARE PICTURES OF REAL THINGS TO SHOW YOU.

HERE IS A GREEN OLIVE JELLO SALAD.

[audience groans]

THAT IS A JELLO HELL NO.

[laughter]

THAT'S WHAT I CALL THAT.

[cheers and applause]

WHO WOULD COMBINE THOSE THINGS?

THERE'S ALSO SOMETHING CALLED GLAZED POTATO SALAD.

[audience groans]

I KNOW. I KNOW.

AND LOOK AT THE RADISHES ON THE SIDE.

BY THE TIME--

THE TIME IT TOOK SOMEONE TO CARVE THOSE RADISH FLOWERS,

THEY SHOULD'VE COME TO THEIR SENSES.

THEY SHOULD'VE REALIZED WHAT THEY WERE DOING.

THERE WAS SOMETHING CALLED A CANDLE SALAD.

THIS IS REAL.

[laughter]

[laughter and applause]

[cheers and applause]

AND IT'S MADE WITH BANANA AND PINEAPPLE

AND MISTAKES.

[laughter]

AND IT LOOKS JUST LIKE-- THAT'S RIGHT, KIDS--A CANDLE.

[laughter]

I TRIED IT ONCE. IT WAS NOT MY THING.

I DIDN'T LIKE IT.

[laughter]

I DIDN'T LIKE IT.

[cheers and applause]