"If you also use Feathertail as your avatar, I'm reporting you," says Oakheart.

Bluestar's ghost jumps Brambleclaw in his sleep and gives him an invitation to the Warrior Cats Ball™.

Brambleclaw disregards this as a nonsense dream in a universe where dreams Literally Always Mean Something.

Meanwhile, it's been 8 months since Dried Leaf and Mountain Dew Code Red were born, and now they're pretty princesses of ThunderClan.

Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw don't get along at all because they're both stubborn know-it-alls with more pride than water in their bodies.

Leafpaw, who is literally made of air and daintiness, despite having 2 bulky parents, is training to be a doctor to keep the power in the family.

Everyone puts extra emphasis on how terrible badgers are.

At the gathering, the cats are all very bothered by the fact that RiverClan has taken in 2 rogues.

Nevermind the fact that ShadowClan and ThunderClan have done the same thing in recent memory.

They're even more bothered that Mothwing wants to be a medicine cat.

"I won't let her do it until God tells me I can," says Mudfur.

Just as Leafpaw was about to meet her sexy new friend, the chapter decides it's about Brambleclaw now.

"I could beat you up right now if I wanted to," says a voice behind Brambleclaw.

Its Tawnypelt! Hurray!

Tawnypelt and Brambleclaw realise that they had the same dream!

Woooah!

Brambleclaw and Squirrelpaw fight about nothing for two weeks.

Then this new guy called Crowpaw simultaneously trespasses on ThunderClan territory, steals prey from RiverClan, and starts a fight.

What a responsible individual.

Brambleclaw sneaks out to RSVP the ball on the new moon and Squirrelpaw follows him.

There is no escape from Squirrelpaw.

The other cats are Tawnypelt, Crowpaw, and Feathertail who says she's taking Stormfur as her date.

"Call it a plus one," says Tawnypelt.

Brambleclaw is a stubborn, Firestar wannabe.

Squirrelpaw is a spoiled pest, made all the more frustrating by the fact she's usually right.

Stormfur and Feathertail are basically male and female versions of the same, generic, level-headed character.

Crowpaw is absurdly rash, angry, and defensive.

Tawnypelt is sassy and surprisingly analytical.

Now that all the other cats have met, nothing happens.

Leafpaw uses her special sister telepathy abilities to find out if or not Squirrelpaw is being naughty at any given point.

Brambleclaw has a nightmare about going to the beach.

"Beaches are real," says Ravenpaw, traumatizing him.

Then Brambleclaw tells Ravenpaw about all of his dreams because he's just that approachable.

Then little Tigerstar gathers up all the other clones (and Crowpaw) to tell them their destiny is to have the ball at the beach.

None of them believe him, but they agree to go anyways.

Then, Cinderpelt receives a prophecy.

"Firestar! And! Tigerstar! Are! Totally! Going! Out!"

Because of this, Squirrelpaw is no longer allowed to talk to Brambleclaw.

Squirrelpaw gets stuck in a bush, and then Brambleclaw trips and all of his secret plans to leave spill out of his pockets.

"Heh," says Squirrelpaw.

Leafpaw uses her single-target mind reading powers to give them everything they need to leave and barely stop her sister at all.

Everyone at camp just assumes that Brambleclaw and Squirrelpaw eloped.

The six cats take off in a random direction and fight over who's in charge constantly even though Brambleclaw is clearly in charge.

On a journey to the Moonstone, Leafpaw does nothing but stare at Mothwing.

Mothwing has a dream about... Hawkfrost!

Great job sharing dreams with your ancestors, I'm sure you're going to have a great career with it.

The cats fight some kittypets, meet some cows, and see an ominous tractor before Squirrelpaw gets stuck under a fence.

And then they all get chased by dogs.

An old man offers to help them.

"Please go away, old man," says everyone.

They follow Purdy anyways.

Purdy has them all fish from somebody's expensive koi pond.

Then he has them all eat Meow Mix.

Then he gives them all indigestion.

Everyone loves Purdy!

Except for Crowpaw.

Everyone also doesn't care for Crowpaw's opinions.

Except for Crowpaw.

Then Purdy leads all of them into a rat's nest.

Good, strong, handsome old Purdy.

Tawnypelt takes heavy damage.

We don't know if she'll live or-

Meanwhile, Leafpaw somehow knows her sister fought rats via the unspecific rules of her power.

At the gathering, Hawkfrost accuses WindClan of leaving straws and cigar packaging by the river.

Reasonably, everyone disregards that and talks about how several of their cats are missing.

Leafpaw eats a bunch of medicine with the intention of sending it to Squirrelpaw.

Apparently Squirrelpaw can share her thoughts too, she just doesn't care.

Then, miraculously, Squirrelpaw locates the plant they need to help Tawnypelt.

"How did you know?" asks everyone.

"I'm just that great!" responds Squirrelpaw.

Purdy saves all of them from the horrors of Twolegplace.

A true hero! The greatest of cats!

Purdy.

At the beach, Brambleclaw immediately begins drowning.

Squirrelpaw saves him and then a massive badger appears.

The badger informs them that there never was a Warrior Cat Ball,

and it was all an elaborate trick with the intention of everyone getting over their badger prejudice.

Oh! And also, they need to leave the forest because the tractors are going to come and go to war with the cats.

"Why couldn't StarClan just tell us this so we didn't have to spend two months walking?" they ask.

"StarClan sucks," says Midnight.

But, back in Thunderclan, the tractors attack.