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  • In Shadowclan, an owl kills Nightstar by looking at him funny.

  • Meanwhile, in the real world,

  • Fireheart is teaching Cloudpaw to not be so awful.

  • It isn't working.

  • Fireheart then does a terrible job of organising patrols filled with cats

  • that are more intelligent and experienced than he is.

  • Whitestorm tells him not to worry, because his clanmates are just being edgy.

  • Thanks, Whitestorm.

  • Then Fireheart shouts in surprise because he had to see Tigerstar junior's hideous face.

  • Goldenflower appears, telling Fireheart not to beat up her children.

  • Fireheart reluctantly agrees.

  • Whitestorm shows up and tells Fireheart to apprentice the serval moon old kits in the nursery.

  • Apparently nobody told Bluestar, because Bluestar doesn't love them anymore.

  • He brings this news to Bluestar, who suggests that he just take two more apprentices.

  • So instead he asks everyone in the Clan who they think the mentor should be.

  • But they all respond with "Ask Bluestar, LOL!"

  • He eventually finds out that 9/10 doctors agree that Dustpelt and Darkstripe should apprentice the kits.

  • Fireheart then brings this news back to Bluestar, who yells at him for 40 minutes.

  • Fernpaw is reasonably horrified that her new mentor is Darkstripe.

  • Then Cloudpaw comes back long after his curfew.

  • When asked about it, he just says, "I was at Cindy's house, jeez man!"

  • That night, Fireheart has another dream about Spottedleaf,

  • who has decided to start playing hard to get.

  • It's doesn't last long, becouse Bluestar wakes him up for a suprise road trip.

  • They need to go to the magic rock for no specific reason.

  • They get stopped by the Windclan cats that they saved two books before,

  • so they turn around. Exciting.

  • Getting back, Cloudpaw is being a rebel again immediately.

  • Fireheart sends him to bed without dinner for 17th day in a row.

  • He goes to announce who's going to the Gathering,

  • but baby Murderface scares the cat out of him once again.

  • They announce that Brokentail is dead, and Tigerclaw is gone, but they give no details,

  • starting an ongoing trend of lack of transparency ruining everything for everyone.

  • An impossible to determine amount of time later, they catch two Shadowclan cats in their territory.

  • They're both pathetic as heck. And also sick.

  • And also hungry.

  • And also dying.

  • They shoo them away.

  • Then they follow them, just in case these scrawny, pathetic cats have something up their sleeve.

  • They lead them to a hole under the Thunderpath,

  • which they, of course, immediately tell Bluestar about,

  • because Sandstorm is always aware of new ways to attack the other clans.

  • But Bluestar barely cares thanks to the power of depression,

  • and Fireheart instead takes a moment to be completely unaware that Sandstorm wants his booty.

  • So Cloudpaw has gotten chubby and nobody has any idea how.

  • Fireheart lets him go on his own, but follows him

  • because that's just what we do in this book.

  • Cloudpaw goes into Twolegplace.

  • "Well, maybe he's just visiting his mom!"

  • "Uh... well maybe he's just catching birds."

  • Fireheart learns that Cloudpaw has been ordering McDonald's every day.

  • Just like Moonkitti.

  • He lies to Princess about her son for a few minutes and then goes home.

  • Fireheart confronts Cloudpaw, who responds with:

  • "Whatever man. You're not my dad."

  • He has him choose between the clan and kittypet life, but honestly doesn't make a very convincing argument.

  • Fireheart and Cinderpelt go to visit Willowpelt who's the proud mother of two side characters and a love interest.

  • Dustpelt is seemingly upset that the only girl in his age group is only interested in the kittypet.

  • Because he's in the nursery, it's extremely important that we're reminded of how much Bramblekit freaks out Fireheart.

  • But he doesn't think about it long and instead thinks about how much better Graystripe was than Sandstorm.

  • Dustpelt is suddendly really, really into Fernpaw.

  • "Ah, well."

  • Fireheart is still pining for the sweet smell of Graystripe, so he's about to break into Riverclan territory,

  • when he smells some garbage instead.

  • The garbage was actually just Littlecloud and Whitethroat again. Whoops.

  • Cinderpelt has been trying to cure their rat poisoning in secret.

  • Fireheart leaves them to get better, because as the main character, he can be cruel to no cat.

  • But when he gets back, Cloudpaw is gone.

  • Fireheart and Sanstorm go to Cloudpaw's kittypet hangout, only to find him being taken away forever.

  • "Now that Cloudpaw is gone, nobody loves me," says Fireheart.

  • "I love you," says Sandstorm.

  • "LOL...WHAT?" replies Fireheart.

  • Sanstorm is bothered by this for two minutes.

  • Ashpaw, a normal and healthy teenager, is wondering where Cloudpaw went.

  • Fireheart tells him, as the only cat in the clan who can tell the truth.

  • He also tells Bluestar about how Cloudpaw got abducted by aliens who lured him in with junk food

  • and she's at least vagulely okay with it.

  • Spottedleaf, who is perfectly capable of holding normal converation, shouts "Beware!" over and over again, while Fireheart sleeps.

  • The *medicine cat* doesn't take Fireheart's dreams seriously, so obviously, we shouldn't either.

  • Cinderpelt tells Fireheart to stop having dream dates with Spottedleaf and get a real girlfriend.

  • "Oh, boy!" shouts Fireheart, learning Sandstorm is into him secondhand from another cat who was into him.

  • He countinues to be afraid of the four inch tall Tigerclaw clone.

  • Twolegs supposedly chased Brackenfur around on golf carts,

  • so Fireheart goes on a solo mission to get his friends a glass of tap water.

  • While peeking into holes to make sure the Shadowclan warriors aren't around, Graystripe attacks him.

  • Fireheart tells him that he misses him, but Graystripe reasonably cares more about his babies than he does Fireheart.

  • Note: the book points out here that the cats are raised by queens, and not their fathers,

  • and makes it seem weird that Graystripe wants anything to do with them.

  • Another note: Graystripe uses the phrase "I reckoned".

  • Fireheart brings the queens their water and simultaneously gets unnerved by little Evil Face.

  • Again.

  • He decides that he's attracted to Sandstorm, even though she's not a hot tortoiseshell like Spottedleaf.

  • A patrol then tumbles into camp a bloody mess. Somehow they've completly lost Runningwind.

  • They go to look and find harmless cat #2 standing over his dead body.

  • Fireheart chases him into a car.

  • Whoops.

  • Suddendly, Tigerclaw is behind him.

  • Fireheart attacks him, but Tigerclaw, being one big block of muscle, doesn't retreat until Graystripe appears with the Riverclan club.

  • When he gets home, he tells Bluestar that Tigerclaw wants everyone dead.

  • "He can kill me. That's fine," says Bluestar

  • Fireheart takes the time to make sure we know he's afraid of Bramblekit in the middle of the clan mourning Runningwind.

  • He goes to visit Bluestar who was decided to stop bathing all together. She has nothing to say to him.

  • Every ginger cat in the clan goes hunting together.

  • Ravepaw finds them and tells them about this living massive of cotton balls he saw in Twolegplace.

  • So they take off to save Cloudpaw, but they get chased by dogs 20 seconds in, like the noble warriors they are.

  • It's revealed to us that the only reason that Fireheart ever left home was eating low-quality, grain-based cat food.

  • Cloudpaw sees Fireheart at the window and screams.

  • The Twoleg opens the door to approach them and leaves it open,

  • even though he has a housecat that isn't allowed outside, and prediactably, he loses his living marshmallow forever.

  • Coming home, Windclan decides to prove to them for a second time that they're the biggest jerks in the forest.

  • But they get themselves beaten up, almost embarrassingly.

  • Cloudpaw arrives and tells everyone about how he only left with the Twolegs because they held him hostage at gunpoint.

  • Everyone but Darkstripe believes this.

  • Fireheart and Bluestar then have a small disagreement over if it was Ravenpaw or God who found Cloudpaw.

  • Spottedleaf lights the camp on fire as revenge for Fireheart spending too much time with his new girlfriend.

  • Almost everyone is safe when Fireheart realizes he has to choose between saving the loyal and intelligent medicine cat,

  • and the Devil in Diapers.

  • "Yellowfang, you're Fired!"

  • And then Patchpelt dies, even though Fireheart dragged him uphill 30 miles to get to his friends.

  • They're about to prepare for more fire when rain comes like 3 minutes too late to help anybody.

  • So all of Thunderclan goes for a swim.

  • Fireheart takes just a moment to think about how attractive Sandstorm is during the most dangerous point in his life.

  • Everyone is just kind of flailing around in the water, so Riverclan comes and gives them swimming lessons.

  • So they all go to Fishland to recover from almost burning to death.

  • Graystripe shows his Toddlers in Tiaras to Fireheart for a few minutes while the clan pretends their camp isn't destroyed.

  • Then they go back to camp after the fire is out and find Yellowfang.

  • "Come closer, Fireheart," she says.

  • "What is it, Yellowfang?"

  • "I.. I actually Do eat babies," she confesses.

  • "That's BS," says Fireheart, but she dies laughing ominously, so Fireheart isn't really sure.

  • Upon finding Yellowfang's body, Bluestar decides that atheism is the way to go.

  • Everyone is miserable, their home is destroyed, and there is nothing to eat.

  • Also, Tigerclaw could be anywhere.

  • They then decide, "Hey, maybe telling the clans about Tigerclaw is actually a good idea!" and head for the Gathering.

  • But not before Fireheart takes the time to be unsettled by Nightmarekit.

  • So he gossips with Onewhisker until the Gathering starts, and he's faced with the terrible realization

  • that Tigerstar's been crowned the new queen of ShadowClan.

In Shadowclan, an owl kills Nightstar by looking at him funny.

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I spoil Rising Storm for everybody

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    Simba wang 960426 に公開 2024 年 02 月 19 日
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