Name: Millennials Are Still The Stupidest Generation. Brad Upton
Uploaded: 2023-09-11T00:50:13.000Z
Duration: 7 min
Description: VoiceTubeの動画で発音を聞きながら英語表現を覚えよう！学べる英語：

過去形

If you saw my last special, I make fun of millennials.

I don't know if you remember that or not.

Do we have anybody tonight under the age of 30? Any 20-somethings?

That's still the dumbest group of humans I've ever met in my life.

You're not dumb academically, I'll get to that.

But you are soft emotionally, I can tell you that.

The reason I say that, when I was growing up, our parents let us play in the street, climb trees, and blow stuff up.

And you know what happened if you got hurt or maimed?

I had two friends I grew up with, Aimer and Niner.

When Amir was six, he was in the garage with his big brothers blowing stuff up.

So the first day of third grade, the teacher said, "Ross Thomas."

That sounded funnier to us than Aimer did.

And Aimer says to the teacher, "No, my name's Aimer. My mom is the only one that calls me Ross."

And she goes, "Well, Aimer, how did you get that name?"

Can you imagine now a kid even pretend to point a gun at a teacher.

There'd be a helicopter above the school.

There were four of us who were all out in the woods together.

And on the way down, he was trying to grab branches.

And by the time he hit the ground, he'd lost most of his ring finger.

Every time I tell this story, I still picture it.

It's 55 years ago and still makes me laugh.

Because he got up and he's dusting himself off.

He's going, "I'm bleeding somewhere. I'm bleeding."

And my other friend says, "Look at your hand."

We all climbed down and followed him but none of us thought to look for his finger.

About four days later, he's back in class.

We're learning about decimal points for the first time in our life.

He raises his hand and he says, "I have 9.2 fingers."

Called him Niner for the rest of his life.

When I was a kid, everybody had a nickname.

Every single kid-- nobody went by their real name.

And it was given to you by your friends, usually about a body part that was not flattering.

I have friends who are Ponch, Taterhead, Lips, Chin.

We originally called him Viola because we knew he'd never play one.

It was just-- it was fully functional, but it was just-- it was a short kind of short arm on this side, right?

So he had a big hand and little hand, we called him Clock.

He was in my second period algebra class and we were supposed to be in our seats every day at 9 o'clock when the bell rang.

But Clock would always wait out in the hall until that bell rang and he'd burst through the door every morning like this.

Every single day we waited for that moment and laughed for 10 minutes.

One day, we're sitting in class, the bell rings, and he doesn't come through the door.

We're like, "Oh, well, that's weird. Where's Clock? Must be absent."

10 minutes later, he burst through that door.

And he was by far the best student in class.

And every Friday, we had to race him on problems.

The teacher would put problems up on the board.

We had to compete against him. We called it beat the Clock.

He had that left hand going like this and the eraser in his shorthand.

One time in PE class, this is after class, we're in the locker room changing, right?

And we had two new kids in class and they were bullies, and they were bullying Clock.

And so Clock's in there and he goes, "I'm going to knock you out with this hand."

And knocks-- just spins this kid knocks him out.

And then he turns to the other one and goes, "or this one."

We all hooted and hollered and the teacher came running out of his office.

We said, "Well, these guys were bullying Clock and he knocked one of them out."

And by then, this kid's kind of getting up and the teacher just walks over and goes, "You just got knocked out by a kid with a half arm."

"Hope you learned to keep your mouth shut."

Nobody got sent to the office, nobody got suspended, nobody's parents got called.

Nowadays, Clock would have been the one that got suspended for throwing that first punch.

And then you'd had to bring your parents and get an anger management plan.

Well, I got angry and I punched that kid, that's the plan.

Can you imagine now calling kids by their afflictions?

Hey, here's my buddies, Blinky and Snort.

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Millennials Are Still The Stupidest Generation. Brad Upton

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