I wasespeciallyfondofanimals, andwasindulgedbymyparentswith a greatvarietyofpets. Withthese I spentmostofmytime, andneverwassohappyaswhenfeedingandcaressingthem.
Thispeculiarityofcharactergrewwithmygrowth, and, inmanhood, I derivedfromitoneofmyprincipalsourcesofpleasure.
Tothosewhohavecherishedanaffectionfor a faithfulandsagaciousdog, I needhardlybeattroubleofexplainingthenatureortheintensityofthegratificationthusderivable.
Thereissomethingintheunselfishandself-sacrificingloveof a brute, whichgoesdirectlytotheheartofhimwhohashadfrequentoccasiontotestthepaltryfriendshipandgossamerfidelityofmereMan.
I marriedearly, andwashappytofindinmywife a dispositionnotuncongenialwithmyown.
Observingmypartialityfordomesticpets, shelostnoopportunityofprocuringthoseofthemostagreeablekind. Wehadbirds, goldfish, a finedog, rabbits, a smallmonkey, and a cat.
Thislatterwas a remarkablylargeandbeautifulanimal, entirelyblack, andsagacioustoanastonishingdegree. Inspeakingofhisintelligence, mywife, whoatheartwasnot a
Notthatshewaseverseriousuponthispoint—and I mentionthematteratallfornobetterreasonthanthatithappens, justnow, toberemembered.
Pluto—thiswasthecat's name—wasmyfavoritepetandplaymate. I alonefedhim, andheattendedmewherever I wentaboutthehouse.
Itwasevenwithdifficultythat I couldpreventhimfromfollowingmethroughthestreets.
Ourfriendshiplasted, inthismanner, forseveralyears, duringwhichmygeneraltemperamentandcharacter—throughtheinstrumentalityoftheFiendIntemperance—had (I blushtoconfessit)
experienced a radicalalterationfortheworse. I grew, daybyday, moremoody, moreirritable, moreregardlessofthefeelingsofothers. I sufferedmyselftouseintemperatelanguageto
mywife. Atlength, I evenofferedherpersonalviolence. Mypets, ofcourse, weremadetofeelthechangeinmydisposition. I notonlyneglected, butill-usedthem.
ForPluto, however, I stillretainedsufficientregardtorestrainmefrommaltreatinghim, as I madenoscrupleofmaltreatingtherabbits, themonkey, oreventhedog,
Onenight, returninghome, muchintoxicated, fromoneofmyhauntsabouttown, I fanciedthatthecatavoidedmypresence.
I seizedhim; when, inhisfrightatmyviolence, heinflicted a slightwounduponmyhandwithhisteeth.
Thefuryof a demoninstantlypossessedme.
I knewmyselfnolonger. Myoriginalsoulseemed, atonce, totakeitsflightfrommybody; and a morethanfiendishmalevolence, gin-nurtured, thrilledeveryfiberofmyframe.
I tookfrommywaistcoat-pocket a pen-knife, openedit, graspedthepoorbeastbythethroat,
anddeliberatelycutoneofitseyesfromthesocket!
I blush, I burn, I shudder, while I penthedamnableatrocity.
Whenreasonreturnedwiththemorning—when I hadsleptoffthefumesofthenight's debauch—I experienced a sentimenthalfofhorror, halfofremorse, forthecrimeofwhich I hadbeenguilty;
butitwas, atbest, a feebleandequivocalfeeling, andthesoulremaineduntouched.
I againplungedintoexcess, andsoondrownedinwineallmemoryofthedeed.
Inthemeantimethecatslowlyrecovered.
Thesocketofthelosteyepresented, itistrue, a frightfulappearance, buthenolongerappearedtosufferanypain.
Ofthisspiritphilosophytakesnoaccount. Yet I amnotmoresurethatmysoullives,
than I amthatperversenessisoneoftheprimitiveimpulsesofthehumanheart—oneoftheindivisibleprimaryfaculties, orsentiments, whichgivedirectiontothecharacterofMan.
Whohasnot, a hundredtimes, foundhimselfcommitting a vileor a sillyaction, fornootherreasonthanbecauseheknowsheshouldnot?
Havewenot a perpetualinclination, intheteethofourbestjudgment, toviolatethatwhichisLaw, merelybecauseweunderstandittobesuch?
Thisspiritofperverseness, I say, cametomyfinaloverthrow. Itwasthisunfathomablelongingofthesoultovexitself—toofferviolencetoitsownnature—
todowrongforthewrong's sakeonly—thaturgedmetocontinueandfinallytoconsummatetheinjury I hadinflictedupontheunoffendingbrute.
Onemorning,
incoolblood,
I slipped a nooseaboutitsneckandhungittothelimbof a tree;