Name: How to Stop Being a Slave to the Opinions of Other People（How to Stop Being a Slave to the Opinions of Other People）
Uploaded: 2023-07-16T06:39:24.000Z
Duration: 12 min 27 s
Description: VoiceTubeの動画で発音を聞きながら英語表現を覚えよう！学べる英語：

程度の副詞

“Most people can never, even for a moment, disentangle themselves from the restraints

imposed by those around them, nor can they disregard their approval.

From the moment they begin to understand their parents' smiles and frowns they have needed

the moment to moment approval of everyone, even strangers…These people measure their

entire worth by what others think of them.”

Richard Taylor, Restoring Pride Most of us care too much about what other

We value social approval too highly and we possess an irrational fear of disapproval,

Instead of forging a path through life that aligns with our talents, strengths and desires,

we conform to the wants and expectations of others.

Some of us even let our dreams die because we fear how we will be judged if we pursue

In this video, we are going to explore how we can diminish an excessive need for social

approval and overcome the life-inhibiting fear of social disapproval.

“I have never wished to satisfy the crowd; for what I know, they do not approve, and

Epicurus, Quoted in Seneca, Epistles A useful first step to cultivating a healthier

attitude to the opinions of others is to reflect on the character of the individuals whose

Are such individuals deserving of our respect and admiration?

Do they possess courageous, independent, and inquisitive minds capable of seeking the truth

and forming and voicing their own opinions?

Or are they cowardly conformists who uncritically accept and regurgitate whatever it is they

are told by the mainstream news, celebrities, social media personalities, and politicians?

If an individual does not impress us, why should we care if our way of life impresses

“Why do you take pleasure in praise from those you cannot praise yourself?”

Seneca, Epistles Or as Arthur Schopenhauer echoed:

“What goes on in other people's consciousness is, as such, a matter of indifference to us;

and in time we get really indifferent to it, when we come to see how superficial and futile

are most people's thoughts, how narrow their ideas, how mean their sentiments, how perverse

their opinions, and how much of error there is in most of them.”

Arthur Schopenhauer, The Wisdom of Life Conditioning ourselves to be indifferent to

the approval of a single individual is one thing.

However, when in the presence of a group, or crowd of people, the need for approval

can be especially strong, and sometimes this need manifests as a social anxiety that cripples

When giving a speech or performance, we grow tense and jittery and unable to perform to

At social gatherings we are awkwardly self-conscious and unable to act with natural spontaneity.

And worst of all, the social anxiety that lies behind an excessive need for the approval

of groups inhibits us from following our conscience; even when we know what we are saying or doing

is wrong, we sheepishly follow the crowd.

According to the stoic philosopher Epictetus, to tame this social anxiety we should reflect

For as Epictetus stated regarding the individual who is socially anxious:

“…he doesn't know what a crowd is, or the applause of a crowd…what the praise

of the mass of people is, and what value it holds in life, these are things that he neither

So here he is bound to tremble and turn pale.”

Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook Most people relate to a crowd as if it were

an entity in its own right, and so naturally they grow intimidated by its presence.

However, in reality a crowd is nothing more than a collection of individuals gathered

in one location or else united by a common sentiment.

When in the presence of a crowd if we train ourselves to see and relate to single individuals,

rather than to the crowd as a whole, it is much easier to diminish an anxious need for

For just as we should be indifferent to the approval of a single individual who we do

not respect, the same applies to a collection of individuals who happen to be congregated

Or as the Roman philosopher and statesman Cicero wrote:

“What could be more absurd than to suppose the same ignorant and common people you despise,

when taken one by one, are of any greater consequence when taken together?”

Cicero, Tusculan Disputations In some cases, however, a group or crowd is

composed of individuals with impressive minds and admirable characters.

Yet even in such a situation, what such individuals think of us is not in our control, and so

All we can do is carry ourselves with integrity and try to refrain from doing anything that

is deserving of disdain, and then gracefully accept whatever opinions they form of us.

“No good man grieves or groans, no one wails, no one turns pale and trembles and says, “How

will he receive me, how will he listen to me?”

Why do you care about other people's business?”

Epictetus, Discourses Along with tempering our need for social approval,

overcoming the fear of disapproval, ridicule, and rejection is also life-promoting.

We need to be able to maintain a state of calm indifference when attacked by the stings

of other people's scorn – be it online or in the real world.

Epictetus advised that when we are the target of another's contempt, the first thing we

should do is pause and allow ourselves to take a breath before we react, as immediate

or reflexive reactions are often self-defeating.

If we take a moment to compose ourselves, we will be free to choose a response that

“Human freedom involves our capacity to pause between the stimulus and response and,

in that pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight.”

Rollo May, The Courage to Create Or as Epictetus observed:

“Remember that you are insulted not by the person who strikes or abuses you but by your

So whenever another provokes you… try above all…not to allow yourself to be carried

away by the impression; for if you delay things and gain time to think, you'll find it easier

Epictetus, Enchiridion One of the more powerful ways to respond to

insults or ridicule is to “listen like a stone”.

This involves reacting to the person as a stone would react.

In other words, it is to not react at all.

We let their words fall on deaf ears, go about our business, and pretend the other person

This response is effective for two reasons.

字幕リスト動画再生

How to Stop Being a Slave to the Opinions of Other People（How to Stop Being a Slave to the Opinions of Other People）

anxiety

individual

situation

deserve