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  • You recently took a…

  • I took a CPR class

  • To save human life

  • That’s what makes me different from you. I have a certificate and everything

  • Therere four of us in the classroom. I was teacher’s pet.

  • So I’m gonna tell you what to do in case someone goes in to cardiac arrest

  • Oh my goodness. Theyre having a heart attack. – Okay, theyre having a heart attack

  • But first I wanna tell youYou have to do

  • Okay, the first thing they told me to do is you have to appoint somebody to call 911 and go get an AED kit

  • So that’s the first thing I’m gonna do.

  • Go ahead. – So you! The guy in the Roots!

  • Call 911!

  • You! Go get the AED kit! It’s by the register

  • So you need to give out information. Where the AED kit is

  • Just say you go to this, you gotta be very specific

  • Meanwhile, I’m doing compressions like this

  • You know, I gotta get up

  • Okay, doing compressions, you know, while I’m waiting for the kit

  • I’m the best chance youve got to be alive right now

  • Okay. It is. This is helpful

  • This is helpful. This is helpful

  • Now the AED kit, theyre like over 2,000 dollars

  • This is worth 15 dollars. You should be ashamed

  • I’m sorry. This is the NBC. Theyve had this since

  • Oh my god, you should be ashamed of yourself

  • Jimmy? Hi, I’m on the show, yeah

  • Oh my god, thank you for coming up. – No problem

  • Oh, it’s an iron!

  • Okay, so you gotta place thethe kit’s gonna tell you what to do

  • All you do is you open it up, it’s gonna tell you where you put these

  • Now theyre sticky. Theyre like the size of crab cake. This is old school

  • But youre gonna place one here, or somewhere around there. And then one down here

  • And then youre gonna turn the switch on, and youre gonna step away

  • Okay? Youre gonna step away and let the machine do its best. And you do its thing

  • Now, the guy could be a heroin addict. He could be drunk

  • So you wanna wait and see even if the stomach is moving. You see if you need the kit

  • So you wanna do that, or aye. You know, slap the mouth

  • I don’t know. I think that’s a little… -To make sure

  • Okay, it’s to make sure hey, is this working, buddy

  • And then you know, keep doing that. Keep doing the compressions

  • And then he comes alive and youre like oh my god!

  • You did it! –And I’m like I love

  • Whoa! Whoa! Hey

  • You give him an extra pump in the end. –Yeah

  • A little extra pump

  • Well, thank you. So that’s good. We learned that

  • But now, I have children. This is CPR for baby

  • What if someone’s choking? Say, kids. They just grab something and put it in their mouths and theyre choking

  • I’ll talk to you about choking victims

  • I’m gonna talk to you about choking victims. – Yeah, yeah

  • Let’s say you go out to dinner for steak

  • And you go for a chicken dinner, okay

  • You go out to dinner for steak and you get a chicken dinner

  • Yeah, you go to steakhouse. – You make a last minute decision

  • Cracker Barrel. –Cracker Barrel?

  • Yeah, you go there, you got the chicken mashed potato

  • Youre on the date, but what’s hazardous about that… -What’s hazardous about this

  • Is all this stuff you can choke on a chicken dinner

  • Oh no. –You can choke on the bones. You can choke on the chicken gizzards

  • You can choke on the feathers. –Feathers. You can choke on feathers

  • Well, I’m gonna show you now what youre gonna do

  • Is youre gonnaFor example, youre gonna start with gizzard. – Okay

  • Youre gonna play the gizzard. You put it in the victims mouth

  • And let me tell you, if youre pregnant. – You put it in theokay, sorry

  • If youre pregnant or youre chubby, youre gonna get behind the person and go above their breastbone

  • But in this case, you know, we got old man of this sea here

  • So youre just gonna really get thatPump it up. Ah!

  • It came out! Yes! It comes out

  • Two pieces of gizzard. You okay there, buddy?

  • Theyre both alive and now

  • Oh my god, it’s so stressful. –They somehow have feathers. This is unbelievable.

  • They somehow both got

  • How would he know thatYou didn’t think you could choke on this when youre eating chicken

  • You go to a nice steakhouse and you get chicken, and you go, “feathers on, please.”

  • Well, Pluck U Chicken

  • Pluck U Chicken, right. I appreciate it. Ready?

  • Let’s take this… 1, 2, 3

  • Okay, that’s fantasitic! And theyre alive

  • That’s how you save a human life, and then you kiss him. Then you kiss him

You recently took a…


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エイミー・セダリスがジミーにCPRを教える (Amy Sedaris Teaches Jimmy CPR)

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    Go Tutor に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日