M: Hey guys.

今日は大人のコスプレをしてみたの

Today, I'm cosplaying as an adult!

ここに溶け込んでるでしょ

So that I totally blend in.

本当はユニコーンの着ぐるみで来たかったんだけどね

They don't know that I secretly wish I was wearing a unicorn onesie.

この普通の格好を見て

Look, me, all normal-ish looking.

大人だね

S: Look at you adult!

それじゃあ税金の計算でもする？

What you're gonna do? File some taxes?

インターネットで完璧なパンケーキの写真を見たことがある？

M: You know, when you go on the internet and there're those pictures of those perfect pancakes?

pinterestやinstagram

It's come up on pinterest. It's come up on Instagram.

facebookやredditにもあるわ！

It's come up on facebook. It's been ON reddit!

その完璧なパンケーキは日本にあるの！

Those perfect pancakes exist in Japan! S: Yes!

まさに今、その写真が撮られた場所に来ているわ

M: All those pictures were taken from the shop that we're in right now.

銀座ウエストの青山ガーデン店

So we're in West Ginza, Aoyama Garden.

完璧なパンケーキを作っているところよ 待ちきれない！

It makes this perfect pancake which I can not wait to dig into.

だって周りの皆がそのパンケーキを食べてるの

Cause we're surrounded by pancakes right now, as we're talking.

皆がパンケーキを食べてるんだ なんてことだ

S: Everybody around us has pancakes. This is obscene.

マルティナと僕は正反対のリアクションをしてる

♬* posh music *♬

彼女は花とかの可愛い写真を撮っていて

S: So Martina and I are having very opposite reactions here at this place.

僕はただ周りを見ながら 「いつになったら来るんだ？」って

She's here, making pretty films about all the flowers and whatnot.

本当にかわいい！

I'm just looking at all the plates of food walking by like "When is it going to be my turn?".

本当に素敵で優雅な喫茶店だわ

Feed me... M: This is really pretty!

サイモンは他の人たちのパンケーキを見てるだけ

It's like being in a really nice, elegant tea shop.

不審者みたいに食事をしている人を見てる

Simon's just staring at other people with their pancakes.

見るのやめなさい！

He's like a creeper. He's literally just watching people ~ eat.

コーヒーとクッキーを頼んだんだ

Stop being creepy! S: Huh?!

クッキーはどこだ？

Look. I ordered coffee with cookie.

クッキーを持ってこい、今すぐだ

Where the f*#@ck is my cookie?!

聞こえたか？

I want my f*#@cking cookie. Right now.

そろそろ彼は壊れそうね

M: Oh oh. S: Do you hear me?

クッキーが欲しいんだ！

M: Oh oh. I think he's gonna have a break down. S: I want my cookie.

僕の横にいる女の子たち

Iwantmy f*#@ckingcookie!

もし僕がフラフラと彼女たちのそばに行って

* sad music *

こんな感じで言ったらどうかな？ 「ヘイ、何飲んでるの？」

S: Those two girls beside me... M: Oh my god.

「君たちとデートしたいわけじゃないんだけど」

S: How awkward would it be if I just, like, scuddled up beside them.

「パンケーキを見てもいいかな？」って

If you go to a club and like guys try to pick up girls, he'd be like "Hey, what you drinking?"

キモいわ、相当キモい

I wanna be, like "I'm not even interested in dating you but..

レベル1から10で言ったら12よ

Can I look at your pancakes?".

[サ] 僕のクッキーか？ [マ] あなたのよ！

M: Awkward. It would be awkward.

僕のクッキーが来た！

If I had to scale it on a 1 to 10, it would be , like a 12.

早く撮影してくれ、食べたいんだ

S: Is that my cookie? M: They got your cookie!

ゆっくりとやらせてもらうわね

S: Here comes my cookie!

♪ゆっくりナイスにやりたいの♪

* angels singing *

この拳の音が聞こえるか？

S: Hurry up and take your macro shots so I can eat my cookie.

マルティナはこう思ってる 「サイモンは分けてくれるだろう」と

M: Let me just- let me just take them slow. Nice and slow.

しかし自分の分を注文するべきだったな

♪ I just wanna take it nice and slow.

ダンが注文したのはそれだけか？

S: Can you hear my knuckles cracking?

小さいスコーンを二つだけ？

Simon slowly picks up his cookie..

もっと大きいと思ったんだ

S: And now Martina's thinking, "Simon's gonna take a bite and share with me."

スコーンよりジャムの方が多いぞ！

Well you know what?

周りにあいつらは豚みたいって思われるわよ

S: Dan, is that all that you ordered?

北米のと比べると少しガッカリするかもね

Two tiny ass scones?

北米でスコーンを注文すると醜いでかい塊が来るからね

D: I thought they're gonna be bigger.

魔法のバターのね

S: Hahahaha

これは可愛いスコーンだね

You've got more jam than you have scone on the table!

僕が知ってる中で一番小さいスコーンだ

M: Well, you took those two and they were like "Wow, those guys are big."

二つの乳首みたいだ！

S: I would like to say I think that we've been ruined a little bit by North America.

ちょっと言いたいことがあるんだけど

Because when we order scones in North America, there are these ugly, fist sized, lumpy things.

[サ] ホイップクリームの方がスコーンより大きい [マ] かなり大きい乳首ね

M: Magic butter things.

そうだ、大きくなった乳首だな

S: Here, we have some very pretty scones.

大きすぎるわ でもかなり小さいのは同意よ

But they're the tiniest scones I've ever seen.

クジラの乳首だな？

These are like two nipples!

二つのクジラの乳首・・

M: I'm just gonna join in here and say something.

もう少し大きいのを期待してたよ

S: The whipped cream is bigger than the scones. M: Those are pretty big nipples.

おしゃれな場所にいるのよ！上品にして

S: True. These are some banging nipples right here. M: Ok.

[サ] クジラの乳首の一種だ [マ] 乳首の話をやめなさい

M: I mean, they're huge but I agree with you. They are quite tiny.

大人のふるまいをしなさい！

S: These are Whale nipples. Ok? M: Whale nipples

そうねえ、最近のニュースは見てるかしら？

Two whale nipple sizes...

ヒラリーとトランプのことについてどう思う？

S: ...alright? I expected something bigger than Whale nipples.

公園の清掃の嘆願書を出そうかしら

M: Hey! We're in a classy place! Keep it classy. These are...

だって不良がそこら中でスケボーしてるでしょ

S: Some type of Whale nipples. M: Stop talking about Whale nipples

子供の安全に良くないわ

Act like an adult. Quickly.

[サ] どうするの？誰かに手紙でも書くの？ [マ] そうよ！

S: Uhhhh...Holidays... M: Indeed! The news today. Did you see the news?

[マ] 草どいの掃除をした？ [サ] 雨どいだろ？

S: How do you feel about the Hillary/Trump - thing? M: things..

実はうちの雨どいから出てるパイプが壊れてるんだ

M: I might - You know, I might petition to clean up the parks

でもどうやって治していいか分からないから

because there are some hooligans that have been skateboarding around there, lately.

どうなっていくか観察しておこう

S: Wait, wait a second... M: And it's unsafe for the children.

それはさておき、皆で魔法の暖かいクッキーを楽しみましょう

S: What are you gonna do? Write a strongly worded letter to someone? M: YES!

それに手作りのスコーンよ！

M: Have you cleaned the leaf gutter? S: What, rain gutter?

皆で？まるで僕が分けてあげるみたいな言い方だな

S: Actually, funny story: One of the pipes from the rain gutter actually blew off.

ここからでもクッキーの香りがするわ 素敵な香水みたい

And I don't know how to get up there and plug it back in.

僕の好きなクッキーじゃない

So, we'll see what happens in a couple years.

だから分けてあげるよ

M: In the meantime, let's enjoy their magical, warm cookies

君の好きなクッキーだろ

and their homemade scones!

撫でられてる猫みたい

S: Why did you say "let's!", as if this is gonna be a plural of enjoying this cookie?

皆おばあちゃんのクッキーは好きか？

M: *sighs*

なぜならこのクッキーはまさにそれだ おばあちゃんのビスケットだ

I can smell the smell of the cookie from here. It's like the most perfect perfume.

バターを挟んで焼いた生地で

S: Not my style of cookie.

大きい砂糖の塊が散りばめられてる

M: *starts to awkwardly beckon for the cookie using her tongue*

クリスマスのヨーロピアンクッキーみたいよ

S: I'll let you have some, though.

それに暖かい

This is your style of cookie.

中にクリームが入ってる方がいいよ

M: Oh my gerd~

大人でしょ

S: Do you like.. M: It's like I'm a kitty and I'm getting scratches.

違うクッキーを買いなさい

S: Do you like old ass grandma biscuits?

そうしようかな

Cause that's what this is. This is old ass grandma biscuits.

クッキー？

M: Oh my god. It's butter pastry that they put together and baked

大きいパンケーキ！

and sprinkled with those gigantic chunks of sugar that you get

なんて良い香りなんだ！

when you get those cookies. The European cookies at Christmas time.

最初に私がこう言ってた時、嘘だと思ってたでしょ

And it's warm.

これはケーキ、フライパンの形をした

S: I should have gotten the cream filled one in the middle.

本当にケーキだ

M: You're an adult.

フライパンサイズのね

You can buy another cookie.

私が言ったジョークをそのまま真似したの？

S: I COULD buy another cookie.

今見たとおりよ

S: Uhm, cookies? M: Oh my god~

撮影！

M: Yaaas! S: Mmm...

サイモンが今カットしてるけど分けてくれると信じてるわ

S: Okay~

きっと分けてくれるってね

M: The big pancakes!

最初の一切れを

M: WOAW!

[マ] 私にくれるはず [サ] 見てみろよ

S: Oh, this is one of the best smells! M: Oh~

分けてくれるわ

M: So you thought we were kidding when I said these were big pancakes.

これはすごいよ

M: This is, like, a cake that's shaped like a pan.

どうぞ

S: This is an actual cake

これで平等だね

that's the size of a pan.

まったく平等じゃないわ！

M: Uhm, heads up! Did Simon just take my joke and then just said the joke as if I didn't just say it?

この厚さを見ろ

Cause that's what just happened.

素晴らしいパンケーキだ

M: Macro shots!

こんな綺麗に火が通ってるなんて どうやるの？

* sexy food music *

いくぞ

M: Simon's gonna cut into the pancake an I'm sure that he will share it with me.

女らしく一口でいくわよ

I'm positive that he will be sharing with me.

やっと空腹が落ち着いたから

S: Oh my god ~ M: I'm sure he'll cut into it first...

このパンケーキについて説明するわ

M: ...and he'll give me a piece... S: Do you see this?

これは伝統的なパンケーキではない

M: ...and then he'll share it with me.

バターミルクのパンケーキだと思ってたら違うわ

S: This is obscene.

これはもっとシンプルだけど、普通のより甘い

S: Ok. Here.

誕生日ケーキのクリームが無いやつみたい

Ok. We're even now.

バニラのね

M: That doesn't seem very fair at all.

それの完璧なバージョンだ

S: Look at the thickness...

何も足す必要はない

...of this obscene pancake.

これがパンケーキの真髄だ

M: I can't believe it's cooked perfectly through. How do they do this?

何が素晴らしいって、今までに巨大なパンケーキは食べてきたけど

S: Are you ready?

大きいパンケーキは問題があるんだ

M: I'm gonna take a very ladylike, gigantic bite.

上は焼けてる、下は焼けてる

* sexy food music *

でも真ん中はぐちゃぐちゃ

M: Now that we're not out of our minds crazy with hunger

真ん中よ

I can say more things about this pancake.

1インチはある

M: It is not a traditional pancake. S: Nope.

完璧に調理されてる

M: Like, if you're thinking about a buttermilk pancake, this is not that.

生の部分が全くない

This is more like your basic pancake but it does taste a bit sweeter than usual.

完璧に作られている

S: Kinda like a basic birthday cake but without the frosting.

続けて

M: Like a vanilla birthday cake. S: Except,

シロップもいらないわ

S: It's the perfect version of it.

この魔法のパンケーキはバターだけでいけるわ

You don't need anything else for it.

この金色のブラウン

This is the essence of pancake.

家で作ると最初の二つは

What's amazing about this is also that we've been to other places that serve really big pancakes

いつも焦げる、ゴミのパンケーキだ

and the biggest problem we have with those pancakes is that

パンケーキのテストだ

S: the top is cooked, the bottom is cooked; they're tough. M: Uhm-hmm

でもこれは完璧な色をしてる

S: And the middle is gooey. M: Like raw.

裏側を見て、綺麗よ

M: This is the middle.

全部綺麗だ

S: This is one inch thick.

端っこすら完璧だ

Perfectly cooked. All throughout.

どうやってこの魔法を使ったの？

There are no spots that are raw.

ここに入るのにかなり並んだ

S: This is made to perfection. M: It's too close to my face.

ほぼ漏らしかけてた

M: Just keep talking.

それに空腹でやばかった

This doesn't even need syrup.

待った価値があった？

S: No. M: I think the butter is all that you need for this magical pancake.

確実にあったよ

S: Look at how golden brown that is.

もし君が最高のパンケーキを食べたいなら

When you make pancakes at home, the first two that you make,

絶対にここに来るべきだ

are always burnt and shitty. M: Your garbage pancake.

マジでうまい！

S: Your garbage pancakes, your testing pancakes.

保証するよ

But these are perfectly brown, all through.

こういうパンケーキを食べない限り

M: Look at the other side. It's beautiful.

こういうパンケーキは食べられないぞ

S: Just beautiful all around.

[サ] 意味わかる？ [マ] わからないわ

Even the edges are perfectly cooked!

どうやったらそんなにゆっくり食べれるんだ

M: How do they do this magic?

いったいどうした？

S: We waited a long time to get into this place.

人間らしく食べなさい

And I almost lost my shit.

ダンとマルティナにこう言ったんだ

M: Hahahahaha.

外の雪を撮影しといた方がいいって

S: This far away, of losing my shit with hunger. M: It was close.

パンケーキの動画だからいらないって言われたけど

M: But was it worth it?

重要なことだって説得したんだ

S: This is definitely worth it. M: Uhm-hmm.

そしたら皿をそのままにして離れていったよ

S: If you wanna try the best pancake of your life,

さあ誰がパンケーキをもう食べられなくなるかな？

you HAVE to come here.

ダン、君か？

S: It's so good!

もう食べれなくなるぞ？

S: I guarantee you,

ダンは雪の動画を撮ってるよ、とても大事な・・・

you haven't had a pancake like this.

何してるの？

Unless you've had a pancake like this. M: Uhm-hmm

雪の動画を撮っといた方がいいぞ

S: Did that even make sense? M: Yeah, it does not but we'll go with that.

私のパンケーキはどこ？

S: How does somebody eat their pancake so slow?

これは何？

What's wrong with you, woman?

え？これは僕のだよ

Eat your pancakes like a human.

私のは？

*slow sad music*

どこだろう？

S: So I've convinced Dan and Martina that it's really important for them

ダンのはどこ？

to go outside and get shots of the snow.

どこだろう？

S: For a video about pancakes. It's not really important.

ダンは撮影中だ

But I convinced them that it was important.

重要な作業をしてる

So that they leave their plates unattended.

私のを食べようとしたわね！

S: Guess, who doesn't have a pancake on their plate anymore.

見て

Whoo! Is that you, Dan?

新鮮で美しいスフレよ

Who doesn't have a pancake anymore?

幸せな砂糖の焼けた匂いが

S: Yeah, Dan, keep on recording videos of the snow. That's super import..

充満してる

*shocked*

涙が出そうなくらい

*frantically thinking of how to explain the situation while smiling awkwardly*

この二つが一番人気のメニューなの

(what?)

スフレは少し待つけど

M: What's happening here?

出来立てが食べれる

S: It is super important for you to get videos of the snowfall outside.

見て、ゴージャスよ！

M: Where's my pancake?

ここを割って食べるみたい

What's this?

そして中にこのクリームを入れるの

S: Wuat? This is my pancake.

やってみるわ

M: Where's my pancake?

準備はいいか？

S: Where IS your pancake?

おばあちゃんの家の香りを想像してみて

M: Where's Dan's pancake?

僕にも

S: Where's Dan?

パンケーキをあげたのに

No, Dan, Dan's recording.

クレームブリュレは好き？暖かいプリンは？

He's got a important shit to do.

両方？

M: He's trying to eat my pancake!

なぜならこれは暖かいプリンのクレームブリュレ

* happy, cheery music *

卵でふわふわ、そして甘すぎない

M: Look at that

なぜなら後から入れるクリームが甘いから

beautiful, fresh soufflé.

信じられないわ

S: All you can smell is the lightly burnt sugar

それに・・・

over all of this.

暖かくて・・

It's an eye-watering warmth that just ~Ahhhh

なんでスフレって言葉はお年寄りっぽいのかしら？

M: So these two things are the most popular things on the menu.

「私のスフレが沈没してるわ！」みたいな

It's a little bit of a wait for the soufflé

こういうタイプのデザートは好みじゃないけど

because they make it fresh.

これは大好きだ！

But, look at that gorgeousness!

なぜなら卵とカスタードの味がたくさんして

She told me that I'm supposed to crack it open.

でもふわふわで形も良い

And inside of it I put this fresh cream which,

ただのプリンじゃない

yeah, I'm gonna do.

プリンのケーキみたいだ

M: Guys, S: Ok, you're ready?

ここは完璧なデザートの場所だ

The smell smells like, what you would imagine grandmothers' houses smell like.

今日はすごく素晴らしいパンケーキの冒険だった

*sexy food music*

すごく素晴らしいパンケーキだったよ

S: Let me try.

すごい表現力ね、すごいと素晴らしいだけ？

I gave you one of my whole pancakes.

二つも同時に使ってる！

M: *growling*

このすごく素晴らしいパンケーキを試したかったら

Do you like crème brulée? Do you like warm pudding?

下の説明文をチェックしてね

And crème brulée?

私たちのサイトでどうやって行くか書いてあるから

Because this is a warm pudding crème brulée.

あと11時から夜8時までやってるけど 夜7時半にきてもパンケーキは無いわよ

It's eggy and it's fluffy and it's not overly sugared.

売り切れだ！

Because the sugar comes with the cream.

ここは行列に並ぶけど素晴らしいすごいものが・・

This is unbelievable.

なんて言ったっけ？

And it's so~

すごく素晴らしいパンケーキ

like, warm

この表現だ

oh my god~

もう大人のフリをやめてもいいかな？