I don't usually film videos with like the front camera and like I don't know, just randomly like this, like it's never this is kind of like an update and I feel like I'm gonna be doing a lot of these, this first trimester because let's be honest like this is very mentally and physically taxing on my body.

普段はフロントカメラでビデオを撮らないので、適当にこんな感じで、決して最新情報というわけではないのですが、この妊娠初期は、正直言って精神的にも肉体的にも負担が大きいので、たくさん撮ることになりそうな気がします。

Not everybody's pregnancy is the same.

誰もが同じように妊娠するわけではありません。

Some people I'm really grateful because I, you know, I'm not like actually like vomiting like some of my pregnant friends right now and it's just been really overwhelming trying to get in with this system and like understand the protocols here and it's definitely overwhelming because I am foreign and um my husband can't come into the hospital even with me to my appointments um and but in fact the other day the doctor said if he comes in the evening around closing time then um it's totally fine if he comes to my appointments, which was, it's a relief to hear my doctor is super nice and everybody is still caring there.

私は外国人なので、夫が病院に来ることはできませんし、私の予約に同行することもできません。主治医がすごくいい人で、みんな気を使ってくれているのが伝わってきて、安心しました。

We chose a private hospital to give birth because they take really good care of you.

出産は個人病院を選びましたが、本当によく面倒を見てくれるからです。

It's a very cozy hospital, very european looking very homey, it's very popular, the doctor is very popular and very good at what he does and um I did a lot of research here and asked a lot of people their experiences and they've had nothing but good experiences and good things to say about this place, so I'm really grateful for it, but you know like this is my first pregnancy and so I honestly, like I didn't expect, I kept thinking like I would be, it would be a very easy first trimester for me because I have a pretty strong stomach since a few years ago when I had a lot of gut issues and things like that, I have a lot of strength in my gut now, so I was like, oh I'm gonna be fine, I'm not gonna be woozy or nauseous, but no, like I have so many food aversions, I have been sitting on the couch most days.

とても居心地の良い病院で、ヨーロッパ風のアットホームな雰囲気です。私は数年前、腸に問題があったときから胃腸が丈夫なので、妊娠初期はとても楽だろうと思っていたのですが、そうではなく、食べ物の好き嫌いが多く、ほとんど毎日ソファに座っていました。

I'm very first of all, I'm very grateful that I can stay home um because I got sick a lot when I was working with kids and with Covid, it's very dangerous.

子供と一緒に働いていたときは何度も体調を崩したし、コビッドの場合はとても危険なので、まず家にいられることにとても感謝しています。

I'm very high risk because of my asthma, my severe asthma and that scares me a lot.

私は喘息持ちで、喘息がひどいため、非常にリスクが高く、それがとても怖いのです。

So I'm sacrificing a lot of social time with people and friends because I don't want to get it.

だから、それが嫌で、人や友人との社会的な時間を犠牲にしているんだ。

Two of my pregnant friends have gotten Covid and that scares me because so far they're not doing very well.

妊娠中の友人2人がCovidを手に入れましたが、今のところあまり調子が良くないので、それが怖いです。

Um and that can be very dangerous for the baby.

そして、それは赤ちゃんにとって非常に危険なことなのです。

Um So I'm taking it very slow and kind of self isolating for the next seven months.

だから、これからの7ヶ月間は、とてもゆっくりと、自分自身を孤立させるような感じで過ごしています。

Um that sounds really sad, but I am still trying to get out and do things alone and with my husband because I know that he's fine and I'm really grateful that my husband can stay home and work and things like that and um you know, I've been so motivated to create and make videos and I have more time now before the baby comes.

でも、夫が家にいてくれること、仕事をしてくれることに感謝していますし、ビデオを作ったりする意欲も湧いてきました。

So I was just like I'm gonna dish out all these videos these next few weeks and just really document and I have been documenting, I just haven't been editing because whenever I sit up I just want to throw up and whenever I feel like it's getting better it gets worse.

だから、これから数週間はビデオを撮りまくって、本当に記録しておこうと思っていました。

And so I've been battling a lot of depression with that because I've been just kind of battling with myself like why am I just being lazy all day today?

なぜ今日も一日中ダラダラしているんだろう」と自分自身と戦っているようなものですから。

I need to do something, I need to hustle, I need to go because that's just who I am.

何かをしなければならない、ハッスルしなければならない、行かなければならない、それが私なのだから。

I'm just very, I like to do things and I like to accomplish things and um I haven't been able to and you know like there's a lot of responsibilities that have been neglected.

私はとても、物事をするのが好きで、成し遂げるのが好きなのですが、それができず、多くの責任がおろそかになっています。

I keep having to worry about responding to family and friends on social media and um not to take that personally, but I just don't want to look at my phone, I don't want to answer people and it's not because of anxiety or depression, it's just, I have this craving to just be just be just exist and just dial down a bit and unplug a bit, might be a little bit slower with videos coming out just because I'm trying to listen to my body and I'm trying to just get more sleep because I haven't been sleeping really well and I think it's because I have a hard time unplugging at night.

ソーシャルメディア上の家族や友人への返信を気にする必要があるんだけど、個人的な感情で言うのではなくて、携帯電話を見たくない、人に答えたくない、それは不安や鬱のせいではなくて、ただそうなの。自分の体の声に耳を傾け、もっと睡眠を取ろうと思っているからです。あまりよく眠れなくて、それは夜にプラグを抜くのが難しいからだと思います。

Um So I need to get into a better routine of like shutting off.

うーん、だから、シャットダウンするような良い習慣を身につける必要がありますね。

I usually go to bed way earlier and earlier now it's like nine or 10, I fall asleep and that's very unheard of for me and usually in bed at 11 30 or 12 sometimes one.

私はいつも寝るのが早く、今では9時か10時くらいに寝てしまいますが、これは私にとって前代未聞のことで、いつも11時半か12時、時には1時にはベッドに入っています。

Um And that's very new for me so to kind of shut off like at least an hour before like eight p.m. That's what's going to be good for me but I keep getting so many messages and so many like things popping up my phone and well yeah you can kind of turn those notifications off.

でも、メッセージはたくさん来るし、携帯電話にはいろいろなものが飛び込んでくるし、そう、通知をオフにすることもできる。

I just have this like anxiety in the back of my mind of like okay I need to like responding to answer and it's just it's not really healthy because it's causing me a lot of like stress, like unnecessary stress and my doctor said you really need to take care of your nervous system and since I've been out of routine for so long I used to like wake up eat a healthy breakfast, I used to do a little impact workout in the morning.

私はただ、心の奥底にある不安のようなもの、つまり、返事をしなければならないというようなものがあって、それがストレスや不必要なストレスの原因になっているので、本当に健康的ではありません。

Um I used to have so much energy and it's just gone and I know it's just the first trimester.

以前はエネルギーがあふれていたのに、それがなくなってしまったんです。

Hopefully fingers crossed.

うまくいけば指をくわえて見ていることになる。

Second trimester is a lot easier.

2学期はかなり楽です。

I just wanted to like share these things because I haven't been able to talk to you guys um in a while and it does take time to really edit the way that I do um but I do want to like update you on what's happening at first, like I was just kind of like been on a shape because my husband couldn't be in the hospital to see the baby and like all these things, luckily I can speak japanese, so it's been a lot easier for me than some of the other foreigners in there.

私はただ、しばらく皆さんとお話することができなかったので、これらのことを共有したいと思っただけです。

They do have people that speak english, like some of the nurses, but some of them aren't available right now my doctor can speak some english, so that's been a little bit easier and I really take medical stuff very seriously, especially when you're pregnant, it's exhausting trying to translate things and like speak japanese and speak another language when you're tired and so sick and just overwhelmed and trying to understand the medical terms because there's a lot of medical terms that I don't know.

看護師の中には英語を話す人もいますが、今はいない人もいます。私の担当医は英語を少し話すことができるので、少し楽です。私は本当に真剣に医療に取り組んでいます。特に妊娠しているときは、疲れていて気分が悪いときに日本語を話したり他の言語を話したりして、医学用語を理解しようとするのは疲れますし、知らない医学用語がたくさんあるので圧倒されます。

Um but luckily I've been able to get through it a lot smoother than some of the other foreigners in there because I remember there was this one girl and I think she was pretty upset because first of all, her husband couldn't come in and she learned that she looked like she was just like newly pregnant um and she couldn't communicate at all, so I did help her out um but you know, I never have to use like a translating app, which I'm very proud of, but it is very tiring when you have to really focus on like what people are saying and things like that, so, but we chose this hospital because it is very good and they are very patient and understanding and they make sure that I do understand and they do have some information in english and and all that stuff, so I just want to make sure it's very smooth and it's very um just everything goes really well, but that's the one thing that I'm very grateful for is that I can speak and understand japanese pretty well, so I never really needed my husband for the appointments he had did have to come one time because the doctor wanted to make sure that I got all the information just in case I had something called gestational diabetes, um they would have had to go through like a bunch of different protocols and like help me understand like what I need to do for that, but luckily I don't have that they tested me so early, I don't know why, but I'm really glad that they're overly cautious about these things past 10 weeks and like 10.5 weeks now and baby is super healthy.

でも幸いなことに、私は他の外国人よりもずっとスムーズに乗り切ることができました。ある女の子がいたのですが、彼女はとても怒っていました。でも、この病院を選んだのは、とても良い病院だからです。彼らはとても辛抱強く、理解力があり、私が理解できるかどうか確認してくれますし、英語での情報もありますしね。ただ、私が日本語を上手に話せるので、夫の予約は必要なかったのですが、一度だけ、妊娠糖尿病という病気になったときのために、医師が私にすべての情報を伝えたいと言って、夫が来てくれました。でも、幸いなことに、私はそのような

We saw our little child yesterday, which was amazing and it's funny because before it looked like a little chicken nugget and now it looks like a human has a big head, it has arms and legs and everything, and I'm just like, oh my God, I can't believe that's inside of me.

昨日、私たちの小さな子供を見たのですが、それは驚くべきことでした。面白いことに、以前は小さなチキンナゲットのように見えたのに、今は人間のように大きな頭を持ち、腕や足もあり、私はただ、ああ、これが私の中にあるなんて信じられないという感じです。

We got to actually hear the heartbeat, there was a time where we saw the heartbeat and we could see little sound waves, but this time we got to hear it, which was super cool, have just been watching my favorite tv shows, watching movies, um playing some games, reading, doing those types of things, and I'm just not used to that because I'm like, wow, I'm so lazy, like, why don't I just get up and do something and I pushed myself and I'm exhausted.

心音を実際に聞くことができました。心音を見て、小さな音波を見ることができた時もありましたが、今回は心音を聞くことができました。

I actually went out to meet a friend the other day and um I just, my energy level just dipped so fast and um it was such an enjoyable lunch.

先日、友人と会うために出かけたのですが、エネルギーレベルがあっという間に下がってしまい、楽しい昼食になりました。

I'm so glad I got to see my friend because she's leaving Japan, but like, halfway through, I was just like, I do not feel good, I was trying not to throw up on the bus when I was going to where I needed to meet her and I was just like, this is awful, like, it's just a forever, like, I don't want to say sickness.

友達が日本を離れるので、会えたのはとても嬉しいのですが、なんか、途中で、気分が悪くなって、会うべき場所に行くときにバスの中で吐かないようにしていたら、もう、これはひどい、もう、永遠に、病気とは言いたくないような感じです。

I say it a lot, but it's not a sickness, I'm just pregnant and this is the part, this is part of pregnancy and it's so beautiful and so horrible at the same time.

何度も言いますが、つわりではなく、ただの妊娠で、これが妊娠の一部であり、とても美しく、同時にとても恐ろしいことなのです。

Yeah, like I don't crave any sweets.

そう、甘いものが欲しくならないようにね。

I want to vomit when I look at a donut.

ドーナツを見ていると吐き気がする。

Like I cannot eat that.

食べられないような。

So I'm really grateful for that.

だから、本当にありがたいことなんです。

But I do want to eat a lot of, again, mexican food and like just like carbs and things like that.

でも、メキシコ料理とか、炭水化物とか、そういうものをたくさん食べたいです。

So I have to be very careful with my diet.

だから、食事にはかなり気を遣っているんだ。

It's been really hard with the food aversions to cook.

食わず嫌いで料理をするのは本当に大変でした。

Like the smell of things is really strong when we do the ultrasounds, it's so quick.

超音波検査の時は物の臭いがすごくするように、あっという間に終わってしまうんです。

So I haven't been able to um just like film or like pull out my phone and there's just a lot of people like nurses in there and stuff like that and just like, I don't, I don't want to like infringe on anybody's privacy.

だから、撮影したり、携帯電話を取り出したりすることができないんだ。そこには看護師などたくさんの人がいて、僕は誰かのプライバシーを侵害したくないんだ。

Um but I'm sure you guys have seen people get ultrasounds before youtube and things like that.

えーと、でもyoutubeとか以前に超音波検査を受ける人を見たことがあると思うのですが。

I just wanted to kind of like post something because I was just like, I really want to like share this journey as best as I can.

私はただ、この旅をできる限り共有したいと思ったので、何か投稿したいと思っただけなのです。

I promise you the next video will be more edited.

次のビデオはもっと編集されていることを約束します。

It's more of my journey and when I'm like um you know, eating what I bought and I herb and like our plans and all that stuff and I do want to talk about the differences of being pregnant here versus the States because I have friends who are pregnant in the States right now to just wanna, I just wanna keep updating.

また、アメリカで妊娠している友人もいるので、アメリカでの妊娠と日本での妊娠の違いについてもお話したいと思います。

I still want to keep posting, I want to look back on this and be like yeah I remember that you know, so this is like super unprofessional but um I do promise some really great video my husband and I are going on a little bit of a romantic trip in Yamanashi away from the city.

私はまだ投稿を続けたい、私はこれを振り返って、ええ、私はあなたが知っていることを覚えているようにしたいので、これは超非専門家のようですが、私は本当に素晴らしいビデオを約束します私の夫と私は街から離れて山梨に少しロマンチックな旅行に行く。

So that'll be really nice and relaxing, I'll be filming that for sure because I wouldn't remember these things um but I'm sure the second trimester will be better but until I get into a routine again and I refresh myself and um just kind of get my thoughts together because I didn't allow myself to do that and then I'll start posting again and what I mean by that, it's probably gonna be like a week later when I post, I'm just skipping a week so I can just get my stuff in order.

でも、2学期はもっと良くなると思います。でも、日常生活を取り戻し、リフレッシュして、自分の考えをまとめるまでは、そうすることができなかったので、また投稿を始めます。

But this is like this is tough, like it's it's a lot more tough than I really imagined but it's all worth it in the end.

でも、これはこれで、想像以上にタフなんですが、最終的にはすべて価値があるんです。

So anyway, if you guys watch this entire thing, thank you so much um and I'll be still posting on my instagram and things like that but just dialing it down a little bit so I can like get myself in order again.

インスタグラムの投稿は続けるつもりですが、少しペースを落として、また自分自身を整理したいと思います。