Step 1: Delete Facebook

Done! Now I’m off to become doctor.

No, you gotta be qualified for the job you want.

But I want to be doctor!

Then you gotta go to school for like 14 more years.

Be qualified!

Think about your last job interview.

Thank you Sky High Air Tours!

You would not regret hiring me.

Start

Hurray!

Not again!

Crap

But, let’s assume you know what you’re doing

and get qualified for the job you want.

And get set!

Get your resume set!

Here’s mine!

No! This is 30 pages long!

Make it one page and keep it simple.

Got it!

A good resume has your background info and skills.

But don’t put in everything.

No one cares if you’re a prom king.

Unless your job interview is for a prom king.

Here is resume!

No! You wrote this in crayon!

But you said keep it simple!

A good resume has to be presentable.

Got it!

That means no typos and easy to read.

But not too easy to read.

Don’t just write “hodor” over and over again.

Unless you’re applying for a job carrying around a psychic kid with no legs.

Here is resume!

There are no typos and it’s easy to read!

This just says, “My name is MARIO”.

But I have no background or skills!

Just print out my resume and put your name on it.

Got it!

For the record, you should never do that.

But we never get through this video otherwise.

It’s time to go to your interview.

Just follow the four B’s.

Well, like the Beattles?

Get back in the shower!

The four B’s

Number one: Be clean

Mario smells really bad so I have to take him in a shower.

And now he can go the his job interview clean, confident and prepared.

Okay! Got my resume, I took my shower, what am I forgetting?

You forgot the second B!

Be clothed!

I’m wearing clothes!

Wear appropriate clothes.

Like a suit or something

Be on time!

That’s the third B!

What are you doing here?

Isn’t your interview happening right now?

Is it?

And the final B!

Be polite.

I can do that!

Say “Thank you” when it’s over.

Got it!

I must say I’m good, Sir. It smells like a cat died in here.

Would you care to say grace before I begin my lunch?

Your suit is quite impressive.

Where ever did you get it?

Mrs. Wilkinsonton?

Goodbye! Don’t forget say thank you.

Thank you.

Congratulations! By some miracles, your new job likes you.

Now, go back for your second interview.

Not! I did so well in my first interview.

I don’t have to.

No, no matter how well you did if you don’t show up for your second interview,

you won’t get the job!

Nuhh! I’m going to take midday.

But you have no job!

What does that supposed to mean?

That means everyday is a yield day.

Oh! Stop judging me!

Congratulations! You got the job!

I got the job! Then what?

Now you get to go back in your suit and never say anything inappropriate

for 8-12 hours a day, every day for the rest of your life.

Or at least until you’re too old to enjoy all the money you made.

Screw that!

Where are you going?

I’m going to the dumpsite to find something to eat.

(gorillas singing)