Placeholder Image

字幕表 動画を再生する

AI 自動生成字幕
  • Gottman and Gottman, a married couple and a pair of relationship researchers are famous for predicting with 94% accuracy which couples are gonna last together or not.


  • All from just observing the couple in conversation for 15 minutes.

  • I have talked about Gottman and Gottman before.


  • Particularly about their findings of the four telltale signs that your relationship is doomedcriticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.

  • But Gottman and Gottman also have the inverse, what's known as the golden relationship ratio.


  • The magic ratio for stable couple done.


  • So the golden relationship ratio states that in happy couples, every negative interaction needs at least five positive ones to offset it.


  • In order to tell if the magic ratio in your relationship is imbalanced,


  • "G&G" recommend paying attention to and even writing down how you and your partner interact with each other.


  • For every negative interaction, are there several positive interactions afterward?


  • And if you take note, literally take note of each exchange within a day, are you exceeding the 5:1 ratio positive to negative?


  • So, unhappy couples, they say tend to display a lot of the negative behaviors like criticism, bad feedback, unappreciation, lack of affection or even just like uninterested behavior.


  • And their negative interactions usually way outweigh the positive one.

  • So let's say you are, you've done this, you like took notes in your journal every single day and you're like, "Oh God! I don't have the magic relationship ratio!"


  • And you're skewing negative.

  • How do you increase the positives in your relationship?

  • Well, Gottman and Gottman recommend six key things.


  • One. Show interest in your partner.


  • Are you really listening?


  • Are you showing that you're listening?


  • Are you interested in what they have to say?


  • Are you providing intentional compliments? And can you find opportunities to agree and engage on common ground?


  • Two. Show affection.

    愛情を示すこと 体を使った肯定的な言葉でも、笑顔でも、家事を手伝うことでも、ただ何か気の利いたことをすることでも。

  • Whether it's physical words of affirmations, smiling, helping with chores or just doing something thoughtful.

  • Three. Lighten things up!


  • Be playful. Joke. Enjoy each other's company.

  • Can you guys have fun together?


  • Can you plan a date for you both to enjoy?


  • Four. Show them they matter.

  • When they're upset or excited about something, are you supportive or encouraging?

  • Are you showing care and concern verbally and emotionally?


  • Are you empathizing with them, acknowledging and validating their feelings?


  • Gottman and Gottman say that aiming to increase your positive interactions by being intentional in your communication and engagement works wonders,


  • and rebalancing your relationship's magic golden ratio!

  • And I also think that what they, what they have found is very applicable to friendships, relationships with family, your pet, like any kind of relationship at all.


  • We all want to have more positive interactions than negative ones.


  • And obviously this does not mean like be conflict-avoidant or be fake or self-betrayed just to make sure you're having a positive interaction on the surface.


  • Because in fact doing any of those things will probably inherently make the interaction negative. Because now you're being a dishonest liar.

  • But since hearing about the golden relationship ratio, I've been making more of an effort to be intentional in my relationship and to aim to create positive interactions.


  • Like "Am I putting my phone down while my partner is talking?"


  • "Am I asking question about something that's very clearly important to them?"


  • "Am I being supportive and encouraging? And most of all, present?"

  • Since becoming more aware of this, I realize how many times I've just let bids for connection kind of like fly over my head.

  • So now I'm making a real effort to spot them, to catch them in mid-air, and to create a more positive, fun, playful environment for any human in my life.


  • Because most of the time I'm a goblin, so thank you Gottman!

  • I'm working on it.


  • Yeah, I'm Anna Akana.


  • Thanking the patriots who supported today's video and as always, thank you to my father "SQUARESPACE" for sponsoring today's episode.

  • My father "SQUARESPACE" makes it easy for creators to monetize their content and expertise in a way that fits their brand.


  • With member areas, you can unlock a new revenue stream for your business and free up time in your schedule by selling access to gated content like videos, online courses or newsletters.


  • Plus, online booking and scheduling is available, making it easier than ever for clients to schedule classes or sessions.


  • They have easy access to your availability and they can reschedule online, taking the hassle out of coordinating calendars.


  • If you're a content creator like myself using video, they have video studio where you can create pro-level videos effortlessly.

  • And their video studio app helps you make and share engaging videos, so you can tell your story for your audience.

  • Drive sales.

  • Go to ""for a free trial.

    無料トライアルはsquarespace dot comにアクセスし、準備ができたらいつでもSquarespace dot com slash anaにアクセスしてコードannaを使ってウェブサイトやドメインの最初の購入を10%オフにしてください。

  • And whenever you're ready to launch, go to "" and use code "Anna" for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Gottman and Gottman, a married couple and a pair of relationship researchers are famous for predicting with 94% accuracy which couples are gonna last together or not.


AI 自動生成字幕

ワンタップで英和辞典検索 単語をクリックすると、意味が表示されます