I rememberwhatwe'redoing, wearedoingthebelonEbonyshowshowforvoguemagazineandwhatwe'regonnado, we'regonnado a howtoonanupdofirstandforemostwhatweusuallydothedecks, thedecks, thefamousBellatradeofdecks.
Forsomanyyearswhen I wasworking, I wassoexhaustedandsowhen I wouldbelikedoing 14 hourdaysand I wouldhavetogotoaneventand I amjustlikepullmyhairbacklike I cannot, I havetostayawakeand I couldn't evenhave a motion, I couldn't smileanythinglikethat.
Solikewhen I woulddowiththesnatch, myfacewouldjuststaylikethis, I wouldjustbelike, she's there, Wedon't knowwhatemotionshe's feelingbecauseshecan't reallymoveherfacerightnow.
だから、ひったくりをするときも、顔はそのままで、ただ、彼女がそこにいる、という感じです。
I'm stilljustpreppingthebaseofBella's hair, basically, I'm justironingoutallthekinkswemetwhen I waslike a babyassistant, thatwaslikethefirsttimewemet, I just, myjimmydays, I justknew, I justknewhewasgonnabe a star.
I didn't knowwejustfellinloveimmediatelythefirsttimewemetandyouknow, withthatkindofcreativityandtalentandmixedwithhardworkandgreatworkethic, it's a winningcombinationandyou'vegotitbabyand I'm soproudofyouandallthat, you'vedonemyGod, we'reonlylike 10 secondsandyou'realreadygonnamakemecry, I loveworkingsofunbecausewegettohangoutwithourfriendsandlikecreateourownlittleworldandgetlostin a fantasyandlikehowisthatnotamazing, That's thebeautyofitall, islike, we'reall a bitmentallyunstablesoweare a bitmoremakesyoureallyfeelsomethingandthat's whatwecravetheserotoninoflikeputtingon a wigmadebymy, oneofmybestfriends.
Hereweareinyourhairdown a lotlately, butthesnatchissogood.
ここでは、最近よく髪を下ろしていますが、スナッチがとても良いです。
She's hardtoavoid.
彼女は避けるのが難しい。
I swearonmytombstonewhen I'm, when I pass, it's reallygonnasayliketighter, tighter, I'm gonnaspendsometimecleaningupthegrainnowforme, likemyhairheroes, dragqueens, I learnedsomuchfromthem.
私が死んだら、墓石に誓うわ......もっときつく、もっときつくってね。
Likewhen I firstmovedtonewyork, I waslikehomelessbasically, andwastakeninby a houseofdragqueens.
I alsowantthosediamondsjustfor a little, a littlerazzledazzle, what?
そのダイヤモンドも欲しいんだ、ちょっとだけ、ちょっとだけ、ラズル・ダズルのために、何?
It's almostlikewehangoutallthetime.
いつも一緒にいるようなものです。
Okay, sobasicallylike, almosttwoyearsago, I wenttoheavenand I waslike f I wanttogetmyhairred, likebrightredandunfortunatelybeingincontractsandstuff, I wasn't reallyallowedtodyemyhair.
Becauseforsolong I wouldsayand I knowitsoundssoannoyingbutit's like I hateit.
というのも、長い間、私は言っていて、とても迷惑に聞こえるかもしれませんが、まるでそれが嫌なのです。
I didn't wanttobemyself.
自分が自分でなくなるのが嫌だったんです。
Solikethereason I loveartingeneraland I lovefilmandphotographybecause I lovetoseepeoplebeabletochangecharacterslikebesomething, they'renotorbesomethingtheydreamedorwishtobe, I loveher?
Likewehad a wholeplanandnow I'm justlikeinmyworld, thisisnothingwhenwespokeabout, whichisthebestpart I couldn't evenconnectwithpeoplebecause I wasin a differentcityorplaceeverysingledaywith a newsetofpeople.
毎日違う街や場所にいて、新しい人たちと一緒にいるから、人とのつながりも持てないんだ。
I'd belikeinGreecewithliterallyrandompeople I don't know.
ギリシャのように、文字通りランダムに知らない人たちと一緒になるんだ。
Andthenextday I wouldbeabletobemaybewithEbony, butthenthenextday I'm inparis, thenthenextday I'm inchinathenexttimeinDubaianditwaslikeconstantlydifferentenergies.
Yeah, like I don't haveallthetoolsyet, youknowwhat I mean?
ああ、まだ道具が揃ってないんだ、わかるだろ?
I'm justlikelearningstillandlike, I don't know, youknow, I cansaymeditation, youcansayworkoutandlikeeatwellandallthesethingsandit's likeattheendoftheday, likeunlessyoureallygiveyourselfthesameenergythatyougivetoeverybodyelseandtoalltheotherpeoplethatyousupporton a regularbasis, likeit's justnotgonnahappen.
That's whyafterquarantineinthefirstroundofCovid, I made a consciousdecisiontolikestartsayingnotothingsand I hatesayingnobecause I lovetomakemyfriendshappynow.
But I startedtorealizethatlike I hadtoputmyselffirstand I realizedtoo, likeif I didn't startnow, likeputtingmyselffirst, therewasgonnabe a pointwhere I wasjustgonnabelike, notabletodoanythinganymoreatallandhateeverythingandhatemylifeandmyselfandallthatstuff.
And I wouldliterallybelike, I havenoidea, I don't knowwho I am.
そして、文字通り、自分が何者なのか、さっぱりわからなくなるのです。
I couldn't haveanswered a questionaboutmyselftosavemylifebecauselike, I lefthighschooljustprettymuchlikebecomingeveryone's versionofmethattheywanted, butthen I realizedthat I wasneverabletofindmyselfwithinmyselfbecause I wasjustlookingformyselfandotherpeople's versionsofmeinsteadofjustlikebeinglike, whatdoyouwanttodotoday?