I'vedefinitelybeenguiltyofliketryingtobewhat I feltlike I wasexpectedofme, hey, I'm Karapattersonand I playJessicaBaxterontheDisneyplusseries, Turnerandhoochand I amBrandonjayMcLaren, I playXavierWilsononthesameDisneyplusseries.
I alwaysloveditas a child, butmymomwas, shewas a singleparentand I wasn't abletobeexposedtohermuch, shewasn't abletoputmeinalltheclassesanddoallthatstuff.
So I didn't reallyget a chancetoreallyexploreituntilhighschool.
だから、高校生のときまで、本格的に探求する機会はなかったんです。
I wasreallykindofthinkingitwas a hobbybecause I didn't reallyfeelbraveenoughtosay I wantedtoreallybeanactor.
本当に役者になりたいと言う勇気もなく、趣味でやっているようなものだと思っていたんです。
I wasjustlike, thisismyhobbyissomething I woulddoontheside.
趣味は副業でやるものという感じでした。
Itwasreallysometeachersthattookmeundertheirwingandreallygavemethecouragetogoatitfullforceand I'vebeendoingit, everything I actuallystartedoutdoingcommercials.
Somymomcamehomeonedayandshewaslike, yo I heardthisoutontheradio, doyouwannadoyouwanttoauditionforcommercials?
ある日、母が帰ってきて、「ラジオで聞いたんだけど、コマーシャルのオーディションを受けてみないか?
And I waslike, yeah, sure.
そして、私は、ええ、確かにという感じでした。
I dounderstandlikewhenyousayitdoestakecouragetobeabletotellpeoplelike, hey, like I wantedtodothisas a professionand I don't knowifthere's like, like, I don't know, like I knowlikemy, bothmyparentsareimmigrantstoo, soitwasreallyhardforthemtokindofunderstandthatlike, youknow, youknow, likethatwasdefinitely a partoflikeme, liketakinglongertosortofadmittomyselfandeverybodyelseand I wanttodothis, youknow, as a jobandmymomisfromTrinidadandmydad's fromGrenadaand I knowthattheyreallywantedtoaffordtheirChildrentheopportunitythattheyfeltthattheydidn't have.
Umandso I thinkthat's alsomaybethereasonwhytherewassokindofhesitantaboutmegoingintoacting, theywerejustscaredandthentheywantedtheyjustwanted, youknow, securityfortheirkid.
それが、私が女優になることをためらった理由でもあると思うんです。
I think.
と思っています。
Absolutely, haveyoueverhadtochangeanythingaboutyourselftoget a role?
もちろんです。役を得るために自分のどこかを変えなければならなかったことはありますか?
I hadtolearnhowtobemyselfbecausetherewas a differencebetweenhowtheindustrysawmeversushow I sawmyself, I'vedefinitelybeenguiltyofliketryingtobewhat I feltlike I wasexpectedofmeandbut I don't thinkthat I gotveryfardoingthat, itdoesn't gowellandwhen I'm like, listen, thisismyinterpretationofthischaracter, thisiswhat I bringtoitandreallyembracemyauthenticity.
I mean, youknow, forme, likeoftentimeslikemymydreadshasbeenanissue.
つまり、私の場合、ドレッド髪が問題になることがよくあるんです。
I'vedefinitelynotgottenrolesbecause I refusedtocutmyhair.
髪を切るのを拒んだから役がもらえなかったということは絶対にありません。
Theywerelike, wellsorry, like, well I'm notcuttingit, youknow, But I thinkthat's gettingbetterandsometimesthatmeanssayingnotothings, youknowwhat I mean, thatyou'renotnecessarilycomfortable, butit's sofunnyyoubringuphairbecausethathasbeen a bigissueasfarasumin a bigtopicamongblackactressesasfaraslikethehairthatwebringto a rolebecauseofmytypewhenif, ifthecharacterwaslistedasbeautifulorclassyorelegant, that I couldn't wearmynaturalcurlyhair, I waslikestraighteningmyhairatfirst.
Sothatwas a partofwhen I wasreferencing, youknowthosetimeswhen I wastryingtobewhatpeopleexpectedofmeovertimeasasitwenton, I justrealizedlikewhycan't mynaturalhairbeconsideredbeautifulandclassyandwhyam I stressingmyselfout, I can't bemyfullselfanditputs a lotofthefocusontheexternalandjustyouknow, reallynitpickingmyselfandwegetsomuchrejection, wejusthavetoreallybevigilantaboutnotaddingontoitandrejectingmyselfbefore I even, youknow, getstarted.
Andyoucanneverlikeandit's likeit's suchanexerciseinfutilitytryingtofigureoutwhattheywantbecause a lotoftimestheydon't evenknowwhattheywantuntiltheyseeitexactly.
そして、彼らが何を望んでいるのかを理解しようとするのは、無駄な努力のように思えます。
Andevenbeingrewardedbygettingthejobwithmynaturalhairthenthere's thehurdleoftheindustryneedstocatchuptothat I don't haveanxietygoingto a setbecausetherewouldneverbelikesomebodywhoknowshowtolikecutmyhair, I'd alwayshavetobringinmyownpersonorlikegolikeonmyowntimetolikemyownbar.
I likelikelookingintosomebody's eyesandbeingtruthful.
私は、誰かの目を見て、正直に話すのが好きなんです。
Like I liketheprocessoflikereadingum I likelearningaboutthecharacterandthosearethethings I thinkthatthatpropyouupwhenyouwouldnotbeworking, right, whenyou'reinbetweenjobs, whenyou're, youknow, you'vedone a billionauditionsandnobody's bitingwhatgetsyouthroughthosetimesorisifyoujustactuallyloveacting.
UmSoyeah, I thinkit's reallyimportantifyouhadonepieceofadvicelikepiggybackonwhat I justsaidforyoungandupcomingactorsandactressesofcolor, whatwoulditbe?
I wassogratefultojustgetanopportunitythat I wouldjusttakeanything.
チャンスをもらえるだけでありがたく、何でも受け入れていました。
And a lotoftimes, youknow, it's sohardtogetthesejobsandthenyougetthereandsometimesyougetthere, youseelike, ohthere's someofthesamemicroaggressionsthathappenlikeattheofficejoboratmysidejobwaitingtablesandlikefavoritismandbiashappensandlike, and I'm stillexperiencingsomeofthatand I'm likeandyouthinkthatiseverythingwhenyou'redoingyourpassion, thateverything's gonnaberosesonceyou, all I gottadoisstartworking, butlike I knowyoucanbegratefulandyoucanstillspeakupforyourself, whatstoriescenteredaroundpeopleofcolorandfilmingtvdoyoufeellikeyouaren't seeing, I wouldn't mindseeingsortofmorelikemorelikethecelebrationofofofusandanduhandandlikeaccomplishmenttypestoriesinsteadofdivingintosortofthetrauma, whataboutyou?
I feellikemorepeopleneedtotelltheirstoriesifthatweretohappen, wewouldn't getthesametypesofstories, allthenuancesandallthethinkbeautifulthingsthathappen, youknow, as a personalcoloras a blackpersonbecausetheresilienceisimportant, notjustthethetrauma, thebounceback, wegottoseethebounceback, I feellikemyjobandthereasonwhy I dothiswithmylifeistocreate a bodyofworkthat I feellike I'm tellingupliftingandpositivestoriesabouttheblackexperienceandaboutthatand I specificallyamintentionalabouttellingstoriesthatshine a positivelightonblackwomen.
Whatdoyouthinkabout, youknow, I neverhadbeforeuntilrecently, youknow I'llgototheseconsand I think I waslikethesecondblackpowerandyouhaveliketheleaderoftherangersand I gotothesecons, theselittleblackkidswillbelike, heyman, likeyouknow, I watchedyouwhen I wasnineand I didn't, I'veneverseenlike a black, like a blackpersonin a leadershiproleandthen I sawyouas a redrangerandso I'vealwayskindofcarriedthatontwo.
It's like I wanttobe, I wantto I wanttolikeopenpeople's eyesupandlooklikeme.
私は、私が人々の目を開いて、私のように見えるようにしたい、という感じです。
Likehey, like I canalsoexistinthosespaces.
その空間に自分も存在できるような、ね。
There's roomformetheretoo.
そこには、私の居場所もあるのです。
That's importantforme.
それが私にとって重要なことなのです。
Representationissoimportant.
代理人はとても重要です。
Andthenthat's a bigreasonwhy I wassoexcitedthattheywrotethepregnant, mypregnancyand I wouldhopethatitwouldbeinspiringtootherblackwomenandotherblackactressesthatyourlifedoesn't havetostop.
I'vedefinitelybeenguiltyofliketryingtobewhat I feltlike I wasexpectedofme, hey, I'm Karapattersonand I playJessicaBaxterontheDisneyplusseries, Turnerandhoochand I amBrandonjayMcLaren, I playXavierWilsononthesameDisneyplusseries.