(phone message)

Hey cutie. - Hey cutie

Oh, Hey, what's up?

How have you been?

(winking sound effect)

(In the Hall of the Mountain King playing)

- I just wanna stop by, say hi, don't be a stranger.

(Super Mario coin sound effect)

- Huh.

(slam sound effect)

(phone message)

(sigh)

Hey sexy. - Hey sexy.

- Hey, what's up?

Are you okay? It's late.

- Don't forget about me.

(Super Mario coin sound effect)

- Sigh.

(laughs)

(phone messages)

- Oh God, not this again.

- What?

- Dude, Anna keeps sending me text messages every few months

that are vague and they're like, "Hey there." "Hey cutie."

And then when I actually engage in conversation,

he stops responding.

- Oh girl

- What?

- You're being piggy banked.

- The hell is that?

- Ignore the definition on Urban Dictionary

because that's definitely not what I'm talking about.

- Oh God, Ow, Ew, that's unsanitary.

- Yeah. Okay.

That's why I said not to do that.

Piggy banking is when a guy periodically drops

in with a text here

or an Insta comment there, to put you on the back burner.

It's like he's slowly dropping coins

into your emotional piggy bank

for sex for a rainy day.

- That's ridiculous.

The only emotion he's giving me is annoyance.

- What he say?

Hey sexy. - Hey sexy.

Hey.

- No, you gotta stop.

- Stop what, winky face.

- Tell him he's piggy banking you.

- You're piggy banking me.

- Whoa, Melissa.

I would never insert a nickel into your,

Oh my God, that's unsanitary.

- No not that, I'm talking about

when you send me text messages every few months

and then put me on the back burner

in case you wanna hook up.

- Yeah, so?

Just don't respond.

- It's wrong!

- What are you talking about Michelle?

You're the one I learned piggy banking from.

- What?

(phone message)

- Oh, it's Michelle.

- How you doing big boy? How you doing big boy?

- Oh, hi girl, how you doing?

- Shh.

- Oh, okay.

I thought you wanna like have a conversation

but that's chill.

- No, I don't wanna talk to you.

I just want you as an option.

- Oh, well you don't have

to like emotionally invest me at all for that.

Anytime you wanna hook up

you can just hit your boy up and...

- You're funny.

(Super Mario coin sound effect)

- Wait, I can, I can hook up now!

- You're horrible.

You're a horrible, horrible piggy banker.

- Oh, come on, women can't piggy bank.

- Actually, Michelle you're piggy banking

really hurt my feelings.

You kept hitting me up

with the intent to hook up, but then it never happened.

And I kept thinking, am I not good enough?

Not hot enough.

Not, smart enough.

Why does she keep leading me on,

If she's not going to put her body on my body.

It really messed me up.

- Oh, wow.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't know.

- And Melissa, I'm so sorry.

I was going to use Michelle's heartless tactic on you.

If I don't have any interest

in maintaining an actual connection

I shouldn't fake one just to keep my options open.

- Thank you.

- This is goodbye, ladies. Stay sexy.

(Super Mario coin sound effect)

- Why can't we just. - Wait, did he just.

- Keeping your options open through piggy banking

is incredibly annoying, disrespectful,

and a landmine of potential hurt.

Like I'm sure some of us have had it done to us

and some of you have done it to others.

I've done it.

Not gonna lie, I've definitely done it.

But the problem with piggy banking is that you clearly

aren't serious about the person you're dropping coins into.

And look, I know the title of this video says guys

but I actually thought of talking about it because I did it

to someone and I felt really terrible about it.

Like at the beginning of the pandemic, a lot of us,

myself included were, we were bored.

We were lonely.

We were horny, okay.

I actually had this conversation with Michelle.

Okay, there's gotta be someone we can flirt with.

- There has to.

- Okay, We'll just look through our contact list

and we'll find someone.

- Okay, anyone.

- Sigh, I just need to get laid.

- Sigh, if there is a God.

- Oh my God.

- What?

- Found one.

(low volumed screams)

- I'm not proud of it.

I did end up leading someone on

and it became abundantly clear

to me how much he actually liked me

and how my piggy banking was going

to seriously hurt this person.

And he was a good sweet person who like,

didn't deserve that.

So, I broke it off.

Told him I was very sorry

that I wouldn't be contacting him again

unless I was serious in order to spare his feelings.

And since then, you know,

I've been trying to be way more direct and honest

with people about my romantic intentions, whatever they are.

I don't want to be presumptuous

because you may just have invited me over as friends.

But just in case you have romantic intent,

I wanna let you know that I'm not on the same page.

- Yeah, that's totally cool.

I mean, yeah, I definitely did

but I'm down to be friends.

- With you however, I do feel a very deep connection

and I'd be interested in exploring something serious.

If That's what you want.

- Oh, I think you're great.

But in all honesty,

I'm not emotionally available for that right now.

- Totally understandable.

I hope we can remain on good terms.

- I think we could.

- Well, thank you both for coming

and letting me tell you that together.

- Yeah, it's kinda weird.

- Yeah, it's a little awkward.

I'm going to be honest.

- But it's cool cause you're hot, so I'd do it.

- Look, I'm old, okay.

My channel is dying, I'm dying.

I pulled my back yesterday just

by like picking up a robot vacuum.

I tweaked my neck just by waking up and existing.

I'm getting to a point

in my life that my therapist always calls.

"When women come into their psychological power."

I think it should be called,

the moment you cross the threshold of 30,

your body breaks down.

And the older you get from there

you care way less about what people think.

And I felt like she's was right.

You know, I feel more than ever

very comfortable living in my truth.

Embodying the grumpy goblin, I authentically am

and honoring where my feelings are in the moment.

And obviously I'm going to mess up

because I'm an idiot with human whims.

And I did mess up

by hurting this very nice person's feelings.

(gasps for air)

But I think what's important

is that when we realize our actions are hurting people,

we change, we stop.

We evaluate our intentions and we take accountability.

And look, am I still very bored,

very lonely, and very horny in the pandemic?

Yeah, absolutely.

But the vaccine is around the corner.

Patience is a virtue

and vibrators never hurt anyone's feelings.

I'm Anna Akana,

and thank you the Patreons for supporting today's video.

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