No, that's kombucha!

紅茶キノコよ!!

Kombucha?

紅茶キノコだって?

Yeah, I brewed my own!

ええ、自分で作ったやつよ!

Does kombucha mean "dog penis" in Peruvian?

へえ、ペルー語だと紅茶キノコは 「犬のチ〇コ」って意味なのかい？

Hello niece and nephew. It's Uncle Roger.

やあみんな、アンクルロジャーだ。

Today, Uncle Roger gonna meet with famous egg fried rice lady, Auntie Hersha Patel.

今日はあのBBCチャーハン女、 ハーシャ・パーテルに会いに行くぞ

Auntie Hersha called Uncle Roger a few days ago and asked Uncle Roger to come to her house

ハーシャおばさんはこのアンクルロジャーを数日前に うちに招待してきんだ

This woman. I don't know what she's gonna do to Uncle Roger. If Uncle Roger no more upload video in the next few months

このアンクルロジャーは何されるかわかったもんじゃないから、もし動画が数か月たっても上がってなかったら

Call police it's Auntie Hersha. She the criminal if I die today,

警察に通報してくれ。犯人はハーシャ・パーテルだ

Please leave my Uncle Roger orange polo to my parents. They deserve a better life.

あと、そのときにはこのオレンジのポロシャツも 私の親に遺してほしい

So.....

あら…

We finally meet.

ついにご対面ね

Okay. This is my home. It's my kitchen. Welcome make yourself at home. I'm just gonna powder my face, okay.

まあようこそ、ここがキッチンだからゆっくりしてて。 私は化粧してくるから。

Okay, Uncle Roger wait here. This kitchen pretty nice. Got a lot of orange. Orange Uncle Roger favorite color.

わかった

I wonder what is in this?

アンクルロジャーはここで待ってるよ。 わあ、私の好きなオレンジ色だらけだな、ここは

What is all this? Holy shit this woman!

さて、中には何があるのかな～っと

This woman have so many colander! I think this woman in love with colander. She sleep with colander at night.

まったく、あの女は何なんだ!?

This metal thing keep her warm.

水切りザルばっかだ、 きっと夜のお相手もこいつなんだろうね

So.

この鉄が彼女を温めてるんだろうなぁ

Uncle Rog. I've heard on the grapevine that you really like rice.

さて…

Yeah, Uncle Roger like rice.

アンクルロジャー、 聞くところによるとあなたは米が大好きだそうね

And you've got some quite strong opinions about egg fried rice.

ああ、アンクルロジャーは米が大好きなのさ

Oh, egg fried rice Uncle Roger's favorite dish. I grew up making it since I was three year old.

そして、卵チャーハンには人一倍こだわりが強いとか…

Well, I really wanted to make you my egg fried rice. So

そうだよ、3歳のころから作っている大好物なのだ

You, you make egg fried rice. Yeah, I do. I got rice. I've got eggs.

じゃあ、ぜひ私の卵チャーハンを ごちそうしたいんだけど

Not again!

あんたが作るのか!?

Not again you torturing Uncle Roger!

そうよ、ちょうど米も卵もあるし!

HAIYAAA

もうやだ…

I think you're being far too judgmental..

もうやだ…　私を拷問にかけるつもりか??

Okay, uncle roger give you one chance before we start I want to call my favorite niece. Hallo. J-Lou. Hi

アイヤー…

So, um, I heard you broke the internet this week. I heard something about that

ちょっと、偏見がひどすぎじゃない？

I don't I don't really know. Uncle roger. You don't let her use the colander today, okay?

よし、もう一度チャンスをやろう。 その前に私の姪と話してくれ

No, no, no colander. Uncle Roger will put a stop to that. Okay. Rog. First of all, I get some basmati rice.

やあ、J Lou!

That's the rice that I use and I use one part rice

あっ、ネットで有名になった人だ

Wang it in the pan.

そうらしいわね。 詳しくは知らないけど

Wang it in

アンクルロジャー、 今日は彼女にザルを使わせないでね?

She loves the word wang.

させるもんか、使おうとしたら止めてやるよ

Don't wang anything in the kitchen. That's how I got fired from chinese restaurant. Oh give it a little wash once.

じゃあアンクルロジャー、最初は…

Pour all the water out.

このバスマティ米を一合使うわね

And then go for it again. Okay. Okay. She washed rice this time. Not bad, first step

それを鍋の中に入れるの

Okay. And this is just the way I do it. Okay, and it works for me

ワン… この言葉の響きが彼女のお気に入りなんだな

One part rice two parts water. Haiyaa, she measure water with cup again

何でもかんでも入れるなよ? それで中華料理店をクビになったことがあるから

Just use finger. All asian people use finger. This is magic measuring

米を一回すすいで

*Uncle Roger angry in Malaysian* haiya, will you use cup like what you're not scientists why use measuring cup?

水を入れて流す

So I'm going to put that on the heat

そしてもう一度…

first of all

よしよし、ハーシャおばさんはちゃんと米を洗ったぞ、第1ステップはクリアだ

Bring it up to a boil take it right down to a simmer

さて、これは私流のやり方よ…

Lid on halfway, so you're letting the steam escape.

米1に対して水2を入れる

Usually when simmer Uncle Roger like to keep the lid on the pot

アイヤー、出たよ、また計量カップ使いやがった

Really?

こういうときは指で測るもんだ、 アジア人はみんなそうするぞ

Yeah, because then the steam can steam the rice

あんた科学者じゃないだろ、 なぜ計量カップで測る!?

where we use it a steam release and then a steam afterwards

で、これを火にかけるわ

Okay, okay. Okay different culture make rice differently. Just some culture is wrong

まず初めに…

But Uncle Rogers still think Aunty Hersha need to buy rice cooker make life simple buy rice cooker

米をひと煮立ちさせて

rice, super easy to make more time to spend with family

そして斜めにふたをして、蒸気を逃がしてやるの

I don't know anyone who owns a rice cooker

こういうときアンクルロジャーなら、 ふたを鍋の上にまっすぐに置くけどね

because Auntie Hersha don't have any cultured friend

そうなの?

So Rog, what do you do in your spare time? Tell me about yourself.

そうしてやると、蒸気が米を蒸してくれるからね

Uncle Roger like watching tv with leg on chair

でも私のやり方だと、 蒸気が逃げたあとになって米が蒸れるの

That's my favorite past time hobby.

確かに、米を炊く方法は文化ごとに違う。 間違ってる文化は存在するけどね

Leg on chair best position to sit so comfortable.

アンクルロジャーは彼女に炊飯器を 買うことを勧めるね、より簡単で

There's like an italian place down the road here

楽になるし、余った時間を家族との時間に さくことができる

So they do this incredible risotto

でも周りで炊飯器持ってる人なんて見たことないわ!

It's absolutely. No, no, no uncle roger don't like risotto. Risotto is wrong way of making rice too wet and sticky

ロクな友達がいないからだな、きっと

Okay, there's a spanish place and they do this huge paella

そういえばあなた、暇なときには何をしてるの?

Paella is paella has too many things. They want to put too many things in the paella. That's the joy of it

アンクルロジャーは椅子に腰かけて テレビを見るのが好きなのさ

No, uncle roger like white rice. Oh biryani

昔のことだがね

What about biryani? Okay, uncle roger like that. Indian people look good at rice also

椅子に腰かけてテレビを見ることほど 素晴らしいことはないよ

Really? Yeah, maybe except you aunty hersha. You have so many weird things your house like a chinese medicine shop

このへんに、おいしいイタリア料理店があるのよ

What is all this? It's not chinese. It's healthy. Healthy foods and all my spices. We've got like chia seeds sunflower seeds

そしてそこのリゾットは格別なの

Why you like showing off spice to people usually people show off, they show nice car nice house auntie

リゾットなんてベチャベチャしたご飯じゃないか、 邪道だよ

Hersha show nice seed and what is this look like dog penis in water?

じゃあパエリアはどう？

That's kombucha

ダメダメ、具が多すぎるね

Yeah, I pruned my own.Does kombucha mean dog penis in peruvian. It's not a dog penis. It's bacteria

それが良いんじゃない!

They're even worse than dog penis a few moments later. So

アンクルロジャーは白ご飯が好きなのさ

Can you see the water? It's almost all disappeared at that stage. Wang off the heat.Wang again.lid on

それならビリヤニはどうよ?

Leave that for like five minutes. Yeah the rice look okay, no more sad gloopy rice and it should be

それは好物だ、 インド人もうまいコメ料理を作るじゃないか

Nice, no, no, no, no

本当!?

No, god, please no. No

あんた以外はね

I'm just tidying up

ハーシャおばさん、 あんたのキッチンは漢方薬局みたいだな!

Oh almost gave Uncle Roger heart attack to see colander again

何だこれは!?

No, no, Uncle Roger heart old now. Cannot handle all this traumahh

健康食品よ、チアシードとか、 ヒマワリの種とか

Hmm it's okay. It's okay. Uncle roger at first skeptical at first was like this woman gonna mess it all up

ほほう、あんたはまるで良い車や家の ごとく、種を見せびらかしたいんだな!

but now I think

そしてこの水に浸けた 犬のチ〇コ見たいなのはなんだ?

At least four out of ten

それ紅茶キノコよ!

Oh, what a nice wok, let me see. Let me. Oh my god, this wok is so round. So

自家製の紅茶キノコよ!

curvy

へえ、ペルー語で「犬のチ〇コ」は 「コウチャキノコ」って言うんだね

Uncle roger just want to rub my hand all over this wok. Since ex-wife left uncle roger. I haven't touched anything this nice

だから! 犬のチ〇コじゃなくてそれ微生物!

So

犬のチ〇コよりも気持ち悪いな…

Egg fried rice don't be afraid. Oh, no, here we go. Again. Excellent egg fried rice

見える? もう水はなくなってるみたいね

Oh, yeah, stop egging me on

そしたら、熱するのをやめるの

Eggs, how you how you have fan? So first of all, i'm not gonna use the rice from earlier

もう一度やれ

I've got some cold rice cold day old rice for fried rice. Very good

鍋にふたをして…

Uncle Roger approve. Put a little bit of oil in the pan

こうして5分間そのままにしておく

No, i've got no idea what he's doing behind me now. Just admiring your nice wok. Okay, so

これであの悲惨な米を見ないで済む

cold rice

こっちのほうがいいかな?

I put that straight in

おい! やめろ、やめろ、やめろ、やめろ!!!

Usually people put garlic first.Where your garlic. You don't have garlic

頼むからやめてくれよ!

So you have bacteria on your kitchen, but you don't have garlic the rice smells very good

忙しくて間違えただけよ!

You can tell this wok is new because auntie hersha know uncle roger coming. So she buy new wok to impress uncle Roger

もう一回ザルなんてみたら、アンクルロジャーは 心臓発作を起こすぞ

Oh, it's not. Can you think of any more egg puns? No, uncle roger don't want egg pun. Oh, come on

もうアンクルロジャーは先が長くないんだ、 トラウマになってしまうよ

They're eggcellent. One more pun and uncle roger gonna suicide. So just whisk

うん、まあまあだな

an egg and then i'm gonna put a little bit of sesame oil in

良いの？

But that one is tesco sesame oil, not true asian. If you buy a sesame oil, buy from chinese shop. tesco sesame oil

アンクルロジャーはこの女がまたやらかすんじゃないかって心配だったけど

No sesame taste. you drink you like is this water? Oh, it's just sesame oil sesame

まあ、10点中4点って感じの出来だな

No, no, I don't think you know what sesame smell like

素晴らしい中華鍋だな! ちょっと見せてくれよ

Oh Aunty Hersha tossing rice like she worked at chinese takeaway

わぁ、これは見事な丸さだな。 曲線的だよ

Not bad, not bad

アンクルロジャーはこうやって この中華鍋をなで回したかったんだ

Oh she fucked up I knew she was faking

妻と別れてから、 こういう「モノ」には触れていなかったからね…

I knew she was faking. She never tossed rice before until uncle roger comes

じゃあ、卵チャーハン作っていくわよ

And she like how to impress uncle roger. I know let me toss uncle roger

怖がることないじゃない?

wasting life

ああ、またかよ…

My mom would have beat me to death already. Honestly, this is like really bad. Should I just eat it off the floor?

おいしいやつ作るから安心してよ

Yeah, so now auntie hersha. Why don't you?

失敗させようとしないで

Wang the eggs in?

どうやって米を冷ますんだ?

Are they the spring onions? Yes

じゃあまず、ご飯は早い段階で使い始めるわね

Uncle roger cuts

この冷やしたご飯を使うわ

onions

冷やしご飯を使うのか… うん、これは合格

They're like massive chunks uncle roger likes massive thing because it suits uncle roger lifestyle everything massive

鍋にちょっと油をたらすわ

Let me show you

あなた、後ろで何をしてるの？

Just finely chop. Yeah, so small. So tiny auntie hersha only like tiny thing inside here

あんたの中華鍋に見とれているだけさ

Toss that in

オーケー、それじゃ…

I just finish it off with a little bit of soy sauce. Oh soy sauce

冷やしたご飯を…

Aunty Hersha know about soy sauce. I do. WOOOOWWW

そのまま中華鍋に入れる

No, no, I I still think it's too healthy where your msg

ふつうは最初にニンニクを入れるものなんだが、 ニンニクはどこだ?

Uncle Roger brought msg

ニンニクがないじゃないか

Because I know auntie hersha vegan. Vegan people don't like msg because vegan.I'm clearly not vegan. Oh eggs

このキッチンには微生物はいるのに ニンニクはないんだな

Aunty Hersha vegetarian almost as bad as vegan you drink bacteria, but you don't eat msg

いい匂いだ

OOOOOOOO

この中華鍋は新品だ。 私が来るからわざわざ買ったんだろうな

Ohh.The tossing is good. Yeah good one Uncle Rog

そうすれば、この私が感動するとでも思ったんだろう

I'm happy with that

違うわよ!

No, no colander

卵のダジャレ知ってる?

uncle roger genuinely surprised

いや、ダジャレには興味がない

Can you believe Aunty Hersha owned 25 colander in her shelf and don't use one single colander.The self-control

えー、この卵は"ケッコー”なものじゃない!

auntie hersha have

次ダジャレ言ったら、 アンクルロジャーは死んでやるぞ

amazing.Taste test

卵を溶かして、そこにごま油を入れてね

Auntie hersha egg fried rice. What do uncle roger think. This is my recipe

おいおい、これは欧米のごま油じゃないか、 本物じゃないよ

um

本物は中華食材店で買うことだ、 欧米製のはごまの味がしないよ

It's good

飲んでみりゃわかるけど、水みたいなものだ

Is it it's good if I buy egg frie rice like this from chinese takeaway?

いいえ!　ちゃんとごまの香りがするわ!

I will not be that customer ever again, but for home cooking very nice. All right, so i've cooked mine

いいや、ごま油の匂いがどんなかって知らないだろ

Oh, you should show me how you do yours uncle rog. No, no. No, I saw all the abuse Aunty Hersha get

おお、ハーシャおばさんは中華料理店みたいに 鍋をふるって米をいためてるぞ!

I don't want to be part of that.This egg fried rice not bad.Not bad six out of ten. Oh six

うん、悪くない、悪くない

Oh I passed the number five mark. That's a win. Um, well that is like my basic recipe. Yeah, so i've got a kind of

やっぱりしくじったな。 彼女の能力は偽物だったと思ってたけどね

Anglo-indian version of it that I do when i'm trying to really impress people. Oh, so asian fusion. Yeah. Yeah

思った通りだよ。 アンクルロジャーが来るまでやったことなかったな

so first of all

私を喜ばせるのが好きなんだな、 私にやらせたほうがいいと思うけどね

I'm gonna put a few alfalfa sprouts in and then get this little bit of garam masala

時間の無駄づかいだ

some mustard seeds some cumin powder and then

これが自分の母親だったら死ぬまでぶちまくってる

sunflower seeds

ほんと、これはひどいわ。 落ちたやつを拾うべきかしら?

Almost forgot curry leaves just sprinkle a bit of that in add a few chia seeds just a smattering

ハーシャおばさん、そろそろ卵を入れたらどうだ?

Um, and then we've got the classic british staple baked beans keep going

そこに春玉ねぎある?

And then finally a tiny bit of marmite and that is your finished fusion egg. Fried rice. What do you think Rog?

アンクルロジャーが切ったやつだ

Rog

大きい塊じゃない!

Niece and nephew. Thank you for watching like and subscribe to my channel and also go subscribe to hersha youtube channel

「大きいことはいいことだ」 アンクルロジャーは全てにおいて大きいものが好きだ

Should we try this disgusting abomination? Okay. Oh my god

見せて

That is disgusting

こうやって細かく切るの