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  • We call them, for good reason, ‘adult’  relationships, that is, relationships entered  

  • into when we are grown up, and committed to the  principles and virtues of a mature existence.

  • What can be paradoxical therefore is the  extent to which - in the finest couples - the  

  • atmosphere owes a debt to certain of the moods  and interests of early childhood. For a start,  

  • we might want to call the partner  ‘baby’, and they might call uspoppet.’  

  • We might speak in slightly younger voices and  in a higher register. We might buy them a furry  

  • giraffe and they might buy us an equally adorable  soft toy version of a golden retriever. The two  

  • animals might even play games with one another  and give each other cuddles when they are sad.

  • It can all look - in the bright light of  day - highly unfortunate and regressive.  

  • But this would be to overlook how much adult love  necessarily sits on a base created in childhood  

  • and therefore should, when it is going wellshare certain characteristics with the better  

  • moments of our pasts. It is no sign of folly  when we use diminutives with our loved ones,  

  • it is evidence that we have found our way back  to the vulnerability, defencelessness and need  

  • that we once knew how to express and entertain  with refreshing guilelessness - and that we  

  • must reconnect with in order to have a chance to  love even if we are, in the rest of our lives,  

  • mature defence attorneys, senior cardiac  nurses or lauded venture capitalists.

  • We might - in turn - wonder at those who appear  too keen to dismiss sentimental child-based play  

  • asbaby-ish.’ We might ask what happened to  the infantile part of them and why it had to  

  • be disowned so forcefully. We might explore  how hard it is for them to be witnessed as  

  • fragile - and therefore, perhaps, to be gentle  around the fragility of others. True maturity  

  • doesn’t - ultimately - mean quashing all evidence  of weakness or immaturity, it means according the  

  • younger part of us its due within the totality of  our capacities. It calls for an ability to mother  

  • or father the younger self of the partner  - and to allow them to do likewise to us.

  • We may have to wait until we are real adults  before we can relearn how to play - and  

  • love - with some of the authenticity and  uncensored frankness of our three year old selves.

We call them, for good reason, ‘adult’  relationships, that is, relationships entered  

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A1 初級

Why We Should Be ‘Babyish’ in Love

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    Summer に公開 2021 年 11 月 24 日
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