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  • One, two, three, four--

  • "pay $1,000 property tax" !

  • Isn't this great, you guys ?

  • Our first family home evening.

  • I wanna watch TV !

  • We're not watching TV, we're Mormons now

  • and we're having family home evening !

  • Dad, did you know that that Joseph Smith guy

  • read the Book Of Mormon out of a hat ?

  • And ? Your turn, Sharon.

  • It's just that,

  • the Book Of Mormon says a lot of strange stuff.

  • Like that Adam and Eve lived in Jackson county, Missouri ?

  • Yes ?

  • But school taught me that the first man and woman

  • lived in Africa.

  • Well, you can't believe everything

  • school tells you, Stan.

  • Your turn, Shelley.

  • ( Doorbell rings )

  • Ooh, that must be the Harrisons !

  • Hey, everybody !

  • Wow, what a great house !

  • You must be Mrs. Marsh, it's so nice to meet you !

  • And you must be Stan's sister !

  • Oh, I think your brother's the greatest !

  • My brother is a stupid turd.

  • Hey, Stan !

  • Hey, Gary.

  • Well, come on in and sit down, everybody.

  • You're here just in time.

  • My son was having a little problem with our new religion.

  • Dad !

  • Oh, really ?

  • Well, that's just because he hasn't heard

  • the best part about the Joseph Smith story !

  • The one that proves he was for real !

  • Yeah ! Yeah !

  • Ooh, what's that ?

  • Well, you remember Martin Harris,

  • the rich man who wrote down

  • what Joseph Smith read out of the hat ?

  • Yeah.

  • See, after he was done, he took some of the pages

  • of what would become the book of Mormon home !

  • Martin went home to his wife

  • dum dum dum dum dum

  • and showed her pages from the Book Of Mormon

  • dum dum dum dum dum

  • and so, Joseph Smith put his head into a hat

  • and read to me what the golden plates said !

  • I wrote it all down,

  • and we're gonna publish it into a book !

  • Martin, how do you know he isn't just making stuff up

  • and pretending he's translating off golden plates ?

  • Lucy Harris smart smart smart

  • smart smart smart smart smart

  • why would he make it up ?

  • Martin Harris dum dum dum

  • all right, here.

  • I'm gonna hide these pages.

  • If Joseph Smith really is translating off of golden plates

  • then he'll be able to do it again.

  • But if Joseph Smith is making it all up,

  • then the new translations will be different from these.

  • Okay, fine !

  • I bet he'll have no problem !

  • Lucy Harris smart smart smart

  • Martin Harris dumb

  • so Martin went on back to smith's ♪

  • said the pages had gone away

  • smith got mad and told Martin he needed to go pray

  • dum dum dum dum dum

  • look, I'm sorry about losing the pages we worked on, Joe.

  • But I'm ready to write it all down again

  • if you translate from the plates.

  • I would love to, Martin, except--

  • I just had a vision.

  • And the lord said he is very angry with me

  • for letting you take those pages !

  • He is ?!

  • Dum dum dum dum dum

  • yes !

  • He is so mad that he will never let me

  • translate from the plate of lehi again.

  • He said we must now translate from the plate of nephi.

  • So it will be the same basic story,

  • but written a little differently.

  • Wow !

  • If God got angry with you

  • then you must be telling the truth !

  • Dum dum dum dum dum

  • all right, Martin, let's get to work !

  • And that's how it happened !

  • Yeah ! All right !

  • Wait, Mormons actually know this story

  • and they still believe Joseph Smith was a prophet.

  • Well sure, the story proves it, doesn't it ?

  • No, it proves he did make it all up !

  • Are you blind ?!

  • Well, Stan, it's all a matter of faith !

  • No, it's a matter of logic !

  • If you're gonna say things that have been proven wrong,

  • like that the first man and woman lived in Missouri

  • and that Native Americans came from Jerusalem,

  • then you better have something to back it up !

  • All you've got are a bunch of stories about some asswipe

  • who read plates nobody ever saw out of a hat

  • and then couldn't do it again

  • when the translations were hidden !

  • Hey, Stan, don't denounce our religion.

  • I don't want to be Mormon, dad !

  • Me neither.

  • Hey, that's totally cool, guys,

  • you can believe whatever you want !

  • Yeah, it's great you have your own beliefs !

  • Yeah !

  • Yay for the marshes !

  • Oh, stop it !

  • That's another thing !

  • Why do you have to be so frickin' nice all the time ?

  • It isn't normal !

  • You just weasel people into your way of thinking

  • by acting like the happiest family in the world

  • and being so nice to everyone

  • that you just blindside dumb people like my dad !

  • Yeah !

  • ( Sighs ) Well, kids...

  • Who's up for a water balloon fight ?!

  • Yeah !

One, two, three, four--

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A2 初級

Stan Challenges the Book of Mormon - SOUTH PARK

  • 11 1
    Jing Li に公開 2021 年 08 月 27 日
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