No no no

I like this a lot

This not how you make green curry haiya

Mr Chilli Jam AKA Jamie olive oil

He disappoint Uncle Roger's so many time now

How his Thai green curry chicken gonna be?

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Guys, we gonna make Thai green curry

It's delicious, fragrant

My family love it

We gonna go one cup of rice

That's enough for four people

One cup rice for four people?

Is your whole family just baby bird? haiya

That like five grain of rice each

You starving your children Jamie

8 second in, already make mistake

He the Usain Bolt of fucking up

I'm in 2 cups of water

This is the perfect equation

For the perfect fluffy rice

A pinch of salt

Lid on, top medium heat, Happy Days

No no no not happy day no

You don't have rice cooker

It's sad day for Uncle Roger

We're going to make a paste

Peel a thumb-sized piece of ginger

We wanna go in with your thumb size

My thumb not your thumb right

Thumb sized piece of ginger

Haiya, ginger wrong

Use Galangal

Nobody use ginger for Thai green curry. Nobody!

Thumb sized piece of ginger

Into the food processor

Into the food processor

Food processor...

Jamie I thought you have pestle and mortar

when you making the Malaysian fish video

I see you have pestle and mortar, where is it?

Use your pestle and mortar, where is it?

Niece and nephew

Food processor

Not replacement for pestle and mortar

Because food processor just slice shit up

Pestle and mortar can do Uncle Roger favourite thing- pounding

Pounding bring out all the flavor

Maybe that why Auntie Helen pound so many other people

Into the food processor

Then we gonna go in with the lemongrass

Now I need to spank it

No no no no

Now I need to spank it

Stop spanking

Spanking not gonna do anything

You gonna throw it all in food processor anyway

it's spinning at 9000 RPM

If you spank harder than food processor

Then I feel bad for Mrs. Oliver

Sorry Jamie's children

And then this part, I'm just gonna break that up and put that in

Four cloves of garlic

Garlic, good

And then 6 leaves of Kaffir lime

Kaffir lime, okay

A pinch of cumin

Beautiful

Little green chilis here

Who is that

See I think that Jamie wife running away from spanking

Little green chilis here

Out with the seeds, I'm gonna go for 3

What, what he say?

I'm gonna go for 3

Three? Just 3 chili for you curry? Haiya

Out with the seeds, I'm gonna go for 3

Uncle Roger making Thai green curry for 4 people

I gonna use like 20 or 30 chili

But he use 3?

That's less than 1 Chili per person

Why even bother with the chili

This not gonna be curry, this gonna be smoothie Haiya

Not Enough chili Uncle Roger predict your curry not even gonna have green color

keep watching video, See if Uncle Roger prediction correct

Little green chilis here

Out with the seeds

also why you deseeding the chili

Why

Uncle Roger realize this is white people favorite thing

They liked throwing out seeds of Chili

Seed is where all the flavor is

Don't be pussy, eat your chili seed, haiya

Jamie, don't need to take the chili seed out

you got five children you have more than enough seed

Out with the seeds I'm gonna go for 3

2 shallots

That's so many shallots

A nice bunch of coriander

Too much coriander haiya

Wait wait so that your paste?

That the all the ingredient for your paste?

No galangal, no white peppercorn, no shrimp paste

Just that little sprinkle of cumin not gonna do shit

This curry gonna be so weak

so weak

Then a table spoon of groundnut oil into the pan

It's fairly hot

I'm gonna go in with 750 grams of chicken

And also the chicken thigh is tastier

so we'll fry this off, 8 minutes in a hot, hot pan

Haiya no no

Metal spoon on non-stick pan that not even the biggest crime in this picture

You're not supposed to fry chicken like this for green curry haiya

You need to mix the chicken with the paste

And then stir fry it together

Jamie Oliver haven't get one thing right so far

You just making chicken stir-fry now and earlier you make smoothie

He making every other food except green curry

What crazy thing he gonna do next?

In the supermarkets today you can get a whole bunch of different mushrooms

What？

We've got king oysters here

But you get those little mixed pack of

Nobody put mushroom in curry

400 grams?

Quarter some

we can leave these whole

This much mushroom

And he use 3 chilis?

Now he making mushroom soup haiya

Too much mushroom

Who gonna eat this much mushroom in one meal

Jamie Just because you put in Enoki mushroom

it don't make this any more Asian

This curry so white

It's about to book spa holiday

Look how amazing that is

So I'm just gonna push the chicken to one side

Don't push to one side, throw it out and start over

Loads of texture, loads of different shapes

Look at that mushroom, that big ass piece of mushroom

Who want to eat that in your curry?

You're just eating green curry

Then just one big blob of mushroom get in your mouth

And when you cook mushroom all the water from mushroom come out

So this dish not even gonna taste like green curry

It gonna taste like mushrooms sweat haiya

And that suck up some of the lovely fat that's come out of that chicken as well

These little delicate mushrooms here

I'll put those in just at the end

No, don't put it in

Now we got some nice color on the chicken and the mushroom

I'm now gonna go in with the paste. Delicious!

No, no!

I like this a lot

Uncle Roger so upset

I put my legs down from chair

This not how you make green curry haiya

You don't just wack it in like it's soy sauce

Green curry you cook the coconut milk

Pour the green paste in

And then you boil until the fat coming to surface

Beautiful green fat

Not just throwing random shit in pan

This is worse than his egg fried rice video

Where did you learn How to make Thai green curry

From Kay's cooking channel is it

Haiya

I'm now gonna go in with the paste

Delicious, fast cooking

Don't brag about being fast

It's easy to be fast

If every step wrong

Straight in with the coconut milk

And I'm using a coconut milk that's light

So give that a little shake

Now in with the mangetout

Now in with the mangetout

Put in so much

Remember

3 chili

Three

A 200 gram of the worst vegetable ever mangetout

If vegetable taste like sad

Mangetout taste like terror

Is this what British people think green curry is

Is this what they eating

needs 2 minutes to cook, so that's kind of your timer now

Of course you can use any other seasonal greens

Have fun with it, make it your own

Don't make it your own

Make it Thai, please

Oh no

Fish sauce

Wrong brand

Everybody buy fish sauce, you buy the squid brand

Not this bullshit brand

One-and-a-half

Wrong again nobody used lime

Wrong again, Thai basil just use a pluck

Don't slice

How many things can he get wrong in one video, haiya

I can't even put my leg back up on chair ever again

You've kind of got like, ginger tea infused rice

Where the tea come from?

we'll just use a fork just to scuff up

Oh my God

that rice

Cuz what we want is light, fluffy rice

Oh my god the the rice looks so clumpy and wet haiya

Niece and nephew

Please hit subscribe button now

Uncle Roger need the strength

to carry-on

Rice

Here my friends is our curry

Balance with lime

and the seasoning from the fish sauce

Finish with some herbs

What a wonderful dish

More chilis guys, more chilis

Oh

So four chili

Yeahya！

Here my friends is our curry

Balance with lime

Niece and nephew

Does this look like Thai green curry to you?

Uncle Roger put on screen show you side-by-side

Haiya this doesn't look like green curry at all

See, this curry don't even look green

He didn't use enough green chili

What is this mangetout mushroom bullshit?

If your Curry mostly look like mangetout and mushroom

You fucked up

Uncle roger can't even say haiya anymore

It too much pain

I'd rather have Auntie Helen leave me again

He has no pestle and mortar

but somehow he still crush all my hope and dream

It's lovely to see little pops of colour

Thai green curry

Thai Green Curry cooked in the time that it took to cook some basmati rice

basmati rice, wrong rice

Use Thai Jasmine rice for Thai green curry

Is he trying to get Guinness world record for most fucked-ups in one cooking video?

Look at that!

So let's have a little go

Very good

It's got that wonderful sort if tropical flavour

like really really perfumed

Uncle Roger never hear anyone

Describe curry as tropical before

Of course you could swap the chicken out for tofu

No don't put tofu

I see before what you do with tofu

Leave tofu alone

There you go guys, Thai Green Curry Jamie style

Really really nice, if you want the recipe, click on the details below

Don't click

And if you want a cocktail to go with this

Then go over to drinks tube

and see my friend Dheeradon, where we did an epic mojito

No please don't