who says spies need to be undercover?

Hi, welcome to China Uncensored,

I'm your host Chris Chappell.

Can I just say what an awesome job

the Chinese Communist Party is doing in Xinjiang?

I mean, it's basically like Cheers.

“Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.”

Only they don't just know your name.

They know your face, too!

I mean, between the convenience police stations on every corner…

and the vocational training camps

that promote stability and employment

through the use of police batons,

electric cattle prods, handcuffs, and pepper spray,

I'm sure the ethnic Uighurs of Xinjiang feel very safe

and well cared for by the Chinese Communist Party.

Of course, it's possible that some don't.

But not to worry—the Communist Party

has a solution for them, too.

Because even though there's all this fancy,

newfangled surveillance, facial recognition,

DNA-scanning, yada yada, technology,

the Communist Party hasn't forgotten the importance

of good old-fashioned people-to-people connections.

And by connections, I mean spying.

That's why the Party has ordered a million Han Chinese

to move into the villages and homes of Uighurs across Xinjiang.

Now I know what you're thinking.

That's a terrible idea.

Won't that lead to overcrowding?

Don't worry, the Party is smarter than you.

It just so happens that,

with all those Uighurs in voluntary vocational training camps,

there are a lot of empty beds and broken homes to fill.

The Communist Party's program is called United as One Family.

And keeping with the family theme, the Uighurs

are required to call their guests “relatives”;

brothers and sisters.

Big brothers and sisters.

And the Xinjiang Communist Youth League

has posted a bunch of photos showing

how much all the Uighurs love this plan.

Whether it's sharing a bed with your two Han Chinese sisters...

Reading together Xi Jinping's report for

the 19th National Congress of the Chinese Communist Party...

or making sure the kids are learning Mandarin Chinese

instead of their native language.

There are actually many photos of people sharing beds together,

which I guess is an important part of being united as one family?

And hey, here's a bit of friendly advice for

all you Uighurs watching from Xinjiang.

“The government reportedly tried to promote drinking and smoking,

because people who didn't drink or smoke—

such as devout Muslims—

were deemed suspicious.”

So when your big brother offers to share a drink with you, take it.

I'm kidding of course.

There's no way Uighurs in Xinjiang are watching this.

They're too busy studying Marxism and Xi Jinping thought.

But before you start hating on the Han Chinese

who are in Xinjiang occupying people's homes—

you should know that many of them love

the Communist Party's program

just as much as the Uighurs do.

I mean, they volunteered for it...

you know, like how Uighurs are

volunteering to be in those concentration camps.

Concentration camps in the sense that

they have to really concentrate hard,

since they're learning all those new job skills.

But who are the Han Chinese being dispatched

to stay in Uighur homes for days or weeks at a time?

At first, they were mostly Communist Party members.

But now, since the Party has run low on those,

the latest wave of 1 million “relatives”

have been low to mid-level civil servants.

Imagine being a doctor in a state-run hospital

and then being told part of your job

is now spying on people every month.

In the far away deserts of Xinjiang.

Of course, some of the Han Chinese truly believe

the Party propaganda that they're doing a good thing,

and creating ethnic harmony with their homestays.

Like it's Habitat for Humanity,

except with more spying.

For others, well, according to anthropologist Darren Byler,

who wrote this ChinaFile article,

“Two of those [Han Chinese] I interviewed told me that they,

or their friends who had been asked to go down to the villages,

would have lost their jobs if they had

refused to participate in the monitoring program,

but they also said that by participating they had been

guaranteed promotions upon the completion of their tour of duty.”

And any Chinese people

who express sympathetic views towards the Uighurs

might be in trouble.

Like Zhang Haitao, an ethnic Han Chinese,

spent years criticizing the policies in Xinjiang on social media.

But at the end of last year,

“He was arrested and prosecuted for subversion and espionage.

His punishment—20 years in prison.”

Meanwhile, Uighurs who have these people

staying in their homes feel afraid,

stripped of their dignity,

and like every aspect of their life is a political test.

So clearly,

both Han Chinese and Uighurs love the United as One Family program.

But perhaps some big brothers and sisters may wonder:

What am I supposed to be doing here?

Fortunately, the Communist Party has created a helpful manual for you.

Aww look!

The two hands holding each other make a heart.

This can't be sinister!

After all, how sinister can it be if it's from Shutterstock?

Back to the daily routine for the Han Chinese “volunteers.”

In the mornings,

you can take your Uighur hosts to sing patriotic songs

at the daily flag-raising ceremonies

outside the village Party office.

At night, take them to classes on Xi Jinping thought.

The rest of the day is your typical mix of watching

state-approved television shows,

singing more patriotic songs,

and of course, asking questions!

For example, you can ask them:

Do you have any relatives living abroad?

Have you ever attended a mosque outside the village?

How's your Arabic?

And if any of their answers,

“felt incomplete, or if they seemed to be hiding anything,

the children should be questioned next.”

See?

The Communist Party is even thinking of the children!

The Chinese regime has declared Islam a contagious disease.

So while these Uighurs might act friendly and secular,

they might secretly be trying to hold onto

their religion and culture.

Here's how the Party says you can find out.

Offer a member of your host family a cigarette or a sip of beer.

Provide random bags of ground meat for dinner.

Find ways to make physical contact with a member of the opposite sex.

If any of that makes them uncomfortable,

you should “report any resistance” to the relevant authorities.

That way, your hosts can be sent off to one of

the many vocational training camps to receive training

on how they should ditch their religion

for Marxism and Xi Jinping Thought!

Oh, and here's another tip for dealing with resistance:

Try to convince your new family

that you already know everything about them.

“The manual instructs the relatives

to tell their 'little brothers and sisters'

that they have been monitoring all Internet

and cell phone communication

that is coming from the family,

so they should not even think about lying

when it comes to their knowledge of Islam

and religious extremism.”

Look, this policy is incredibly disturbing.

The Chinese Communist Party is creating a system where,

in the name of ethnic harmony,

they are pitting Han Chinese and Uighurs against each other.

Of course, ethnic harmony is a good thing.

But the way to get there is probably not

to force one group of people to help destroy the families

and communities of another group of people.

China Digital Times translated this article

from a Han Chinese university student in Xinjiang.

He talks about living under the growing security state,

watching his Uighur teachers slowly disappear into the camps,

and about how no one could talk about it

for fear that they would also be reported to the Party.

That student realized that he was being trained

to be part of the security apparatus

and managed to leave the country.

But most people in Xinjiang aren't so lucky--

especially the Uighurs.

Like this ChinaFile article says,

“Citizens of totalitarian states

are nearly always compelled to act in ways

that deny their ethical obligations.”

No one is allowed to think about what they're doing.

I know, this all sounds like so much fun for everyone.

So between all the hair combing

making probably non-halal dumplings!

and putting up Pictures of Xi Jinping

….the Han big brothers and sisters and their Uighur hosts

have important work to do for their country.

So what do you think of the Communist Party's

plan to force Han Chinese to live with Uighurs?

Leave your comments below.

And now is the moment you've all been waiting for!

When I answer questions

from a member of the China Uncensored 50 cent army—

the fans who make this show possible

by contributing through the crowd funding website Patreon.

Karan Joshi asks,

“Could the People's Republic of China

ever split up like the Soviet Union?

A very interesting, politically sensitive question!

As this lovely gif shows,

the territory of what we call China

has changed a lot over the centuries.

If or when the Communist Party falls,

the reaction could be different in different places.

And there are some big question marks over certain regions.

Xinjiang is known by Uighurs as East Turkestan.

Some people there might want to break off into their own country.

Same goes for Tibet.

Although doing that would not be as easy as it sounds.

Other places are harder to say.

Would Taiwan want to rejoin a Communist free China?

Would Taiwan lead a Communist free China?

Or would Taiwan get to finally call itself a country?

What about Hong Kong and Macau?

So it could be similar to the fall of the Soviet Union,

where some of the outlying parts do break off

to become independent countries.

Or the non-People's Republic might survive largely intact.

But either way,

there'll still be a very large country

that calls itself China.

Thanks for your question.

And if you'd me to answer your question,

join up in the China Uncensored 50-army.

We have a very low mortality rate.

And for only a dollar or more per episode,

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So head over to Pateron.com/chinauncensored to learn more.

Thanks for watching this episode of China Uncensored.

Once again I'm your host Chris Chappell,

see you next time.