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  • Hey, Miss Potts.

  • If you find this recording,

  • don't feel bad about this.

  • But... don't be overly thrilled about it, either.

  • If there's an afterlife, I'm watching you.

  • Food and water ran out... four days ago.

  • Um... Sparkling water, that is.

  • I have enough still water for a further six months,

  • but I'd rather die than touch a drop of that bourgeois bilge.

  • When I drift off...

  • slash, die...

  • I will dream about you.

  • The 26-year-old version.

  • Device storage full.

  • Delete files to free up space.

  • What?

  • When did you stop recording? I've been talking for three hours!

  • DANG IT!!

  • I saw all these people die.

  • "Dust" vadanya!

  • It was a great workout for my new eyeball, but...

  • also, tragic.

  • Thanos did...

  • exactly what he said he was gonna do.

  • Which is more than I can say for you, Steve.

  • That laundry tap is still dripping.

  • I've called a plumber but it's coming out of your pay.

  • We lost, all of us.

  • We lost friends.

  • We lost family.

  • We lost three guys in Chinatown but I don't think that was Thanos.

  • Clint, 50% of humanity was wiped out.

  • That wasn't enough for you?

  • The said...

  • They said I was too old for this haircut.

  • You... are...!

  • I keep telling everybody they shouldn't move on.

  • Some do.

  • But not us.

  • We dwell.

  • We bristle.

  • We seethe.

  • We simmer.

  • We stew.

  • We sulk.

  • That's not us, Steve. That's just you.

  • Hence why we started calling you Grievin' Steven.

  • This is gonna work, Steve.

  • I know it is.

  • Cos they've already announced Spider-Man 2, Black Panther 2 and Guardians 3.

  • Hi! Uh, is anyone home?

  • This is Scott Lang!

  • We met a few years ago?

  • In Deutschland!

  • Is this an old message?

  • I got really big!

  • Yeah, it's from three weeks ago.

  • I got bored and started watching old tapes.

  • I'll switch it back to the live stream.

  • Can you buzz me in?

  • Hey. Hey! HEY!

  • Did that camera just turn on??

  • Geez, he's still there?

  • I'll say this for him: he's tenacious.

  • Why haven't you let him in?

  • Cos we just had this building fumigated.

  • I don't want him bringing a million of his six-legged buddies in here.

  • Plus he's a criminal.

  • I originally came here...

  • to help save the universe!

  • But right now...

  • I'll settle for a hot meal!

  • And some dry clothes!

  • Even if there's a... small chance,

  • we owe it to everyone who's not in this room

  • to wait until they get here.

  • We need something that'll distract Thanos for at least 40 minutes.

  • Clint. Any ideas, off the top of your head?

  • It's bow time.

  • Whatever it doth taketh.

  • Whatever it takes.

  • Hopefully guns.

  • Whatever it takes!

  • Whatever it takes!!

  • No! More! Wiping!

  • Things! From! Existence!

  • Scott!

  • That's an eraser, you idiot.

  • Oh.

  • Hey!

  • I haven't met Thanos yet, so,

  • maybe take that into consideration before you call me an idiot!

  • Trust me, it was worth spending 12 months creating these matching uniforms.

  • This way we won't mistakenly kill each other instead of Thanos.

  • Thanks, Nat.

  • Triple shot.

  • I require a strong hit.

  • That's OK! That's fine!

  • It's a... It's a new hammer!

  • It's... still learning the ropes!

  • OK, Dad.

  • You didn't like my friends at school and you sure as hell won't like 'em now.

  • Hey, Nebby.

  • Did you come to help your old Pa with the harvest?

  • Father?

  • What the hell?

  • Is this Thanos or Thin-arse??

  • Don't expect Mr Rogers to take a bullet for you.

  • The best he can hope to do is slow it down a little.

  • What happened to your sexy thicc body?

  • Oh, that.

  • Well I accomplished my mission so I stopped hitting the gym.

  • I'm a farmer now.

  • Carrots, spuds and swedes.

  • My only enemy is the weather.

  • A cold snap wiped out half my crop this winter.

  • Uh... Do we still have to fight him?

  • It don't seem fair anymore.

  • Take that, Thin-os!

  • There goes my hip!

  • They say you never quite recover!

  • This really takes the shine off avenging.

  • Will you do whatever it takes to subscribe to this channel?

  • Cos all it takes is one click.

  • Some people move on before the video gets to the very end.

  • But not us.

  • We linger.

  • We loiter.

  • We lurk.

  • Moving on.

  • [CAPTAIN AMERICA] We should make a public announcement.

  • [BLACK WIDOW] Good idea.

  • The world needs to know that we're still here.

  • - And we're gonna fight-- - [CAPTAIN AMERICA] No.

  • The world needs to drink lots of Yakult.

  • Cos Thanos wiped out half the good bacteria in our guts.

  • [BLACK WIDOW] Steve, why are you crying?

  • [CAPTAIN AMERICA] Cos it's always the good ones, you know?

Hey, Miss Potts.

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Avengers Endgame Trailer Spoof - TOON SANDWICH

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    郭書言 に公開 2021 年 06 月 11 日
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