Oneofthereasons I'm interestedinsilence, andinwhatcanandcan't besaid, isthatwhen I was a teenager, therewasabout a yearwhen I didn't reallytalktopeopleatschool.
I wouldanswerdirectquestionsif a teacheraskedthemor I wouldreadoutloud, butthekindofcommunicationthatmakesushuman—spontaneousconversation, sharingjokes—wassomethingthat I wasn't abletodo.
There's a conditionknownasAssidy, whichwasexperiencedbymonkswhospentprolongedperiodsinsilence, andit's basicallydistinguishedby a feelingoftorpor, ofnotbeingabletodoanything,
After a certainamountoftime, hefeltlikehewaslosingcontrolofbothhismindandhisbody.
ある程度の時間が経過すると、心も体もコントロールできなくなるような感覚があったそうです。
Heactuallyfeltlikehewashaving a heartattack.
彼は実際に心臓発作を起こしているように感じました。
Heknewlogicallyhe'd justpulled a muscleinhischest, butwithoutanyonetosay, "I'vepulled a muscleinmychest" to, thepainthathewasfeeling, thesensationsofpanicmeantthatheactuallyreallythoughtthathewasdying,
SothatBuddhistactuallydescribedsilencetomeasbeinglikelove—it's somethingthat, instinctively, weallfeelwewantandneedinourlives, butsilence, likelove, is a reallystrongmedicine, anditcanactuallycompletelytearyouapart.
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