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From Martin Scorsese, the legendary director of that movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio,
that other movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio,
and also these movies starring Leonardo DiCaprio
Comes the Wolf of Wall Street ...starring Leonardo DiCaprio.
Strap in for the last film you’d ever want to watch with your grandparents...
Featuring an average of 3.16 “f*cks” per minute
"F*cking 30,000 f*cking dollars!"
"F*cking half-wit!"
"Beni-f*cking-hana!"
"Absolutely f*cking not!"
"F*ckity f*ck f*ck!"
But f*ck it: we can do better than that!
Leonardo Di-f*cking-Caprio stars as a f*cking hot young rich guy who
hangs out on f*cking yachts and has sex with f*cking models
...basically Leonardo DiCaprio.
Watch as he yells his way to an Oscar nomination
And watch as the guy who stole Best Actor stops by to pound his chest
right in Leo’s f*cking face.
F*ck you!
Rejoice at the triumphant return of fat f*cking Jonah Hill
and recoil at the triumphant debut of his fat f*cking penis.
Thrill as he tries to shed his image as the funny fat guy in comedies... by becoming the
funny fat guy in a Scorsese movie.
"You're alright... we all love you..."
"Shut the f*ck up!"
Experience the film that critics f*cking slammed for glorifying the lifestyle of a corrupt
Wall Street stockbroker...
Even though he’s a f*cking miserable wife beating drug addict who loses his business,
family, and fortune.
They do make qualludes look f*cking awesome, though!
"Get off the phone!"
"Hahaha!"
"Jesus Christ, Jordan!"
Witness Scorcese break out every Scorcese-ism in the book, like
a f*ck-ton of tracking shots
f*ckin’ Voiceover
"See that humongous estate down there? That's my house."
f*ckin' freeze frames
multiple f*ckin’ wives
having a huge f*cking hard on for
And an ambitious criminal main character with a short temper whose pride is ultimately their
downfall.
"I ain't goin' nowhere!"
So settle in for a movie that’s all about f*cking excess,
from the 3 hour run time
To the f*ckin cursing
"F*ck this, sh*t that, c*ck, c***, a**hole"
To all the people in suits listening to Leo talk
To shots of those same people going
f*cking
nuts.
Starring:
Two-Time Oscar Nominee Jonah Hill
F%*k Me
How I Divorced Your Mother
The director of Iron Man
The director of Her
The director of The Princess Bride
Shane
Coach Taylor
Dallas Oscar Stealers Club
The Artist Formerly Known as Relevant
The real Jordan Belfort, because that guy deserves a f*ckin break,
right? F*ck.
And Leonardo NoOscarO,
which is crazy when you think about all the other people who have Oscars, like
Three Six Mafia
Al Gore
Cuba Gooding Jr
Dean Pelton from Community
Sookie
Catwoman
Marisa Tomei
Cher
Nic Cage
Mo’nique
American Idol Quarterfinalist Jennifer Hudson
Katniss
Roberto Benigni - TWICE!
and the movie Crash
The Wolf of F*cking Wall Street
“Sell me this pen.”
It’s the one Dicaprio used in Wolf of Wall Street.
Boom!
F*ckin’ easy money right there.
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