Hey, Fran.

I actually never heard of you before.

That's really a good way to break the ice.

Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Fran Lebowitz.

People are frequently infuriated by me

because I am filled with opinions.

In New York, there are millions of people,

and the only person looking where she's going is me.

I should write a manifesto,

the title of which would be Pretend It's a City.

It would take one subway ride

for the Dalai Lama to turn into a lunatic, raging person.

I'm the only person who's lived in New York as long as I have

who has never made a correct real estate decision.

Do people buy books here?

At this kiosk? No.

Is it fair to bring a book into Times Square?

It's not fair to the book.

People wanna challenge themselves.

I find real life challenging enough.

Does complaining change anything?

Not so far.

Of course, I'm a young woman.