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  • INTERVIEW 9: My Fall and Standing Up

  • So, I saw process.

  • So therefore, what did I understand in that moment? That each one of us are process.

  • And that as it has been said in interviews as well, is that this world is being created by sex,

  • as what it currently is, through relationships.

  • If you have a look at the white orbs, the human beings were in first in relationships on these beds having sex -

  • in penetration in all different positions.

  • They were in relationships creating the world as it is through sex.

  • And when the human beings transformed into these white orbs, they actually become all and equal.

  • But expressing themselves individually together, but as one and equal.

  • And that's the becoming of each in the world.

  • So the problem of the world is sex and relationship.

  • Oh, I have had my share of experiences of those as well.

  • So in terms of me, seeing, and understanding, interpreting and being able to explain everything I'd seen inside the human beings,

  • especially those around me, even communicating interdimensionally--

  • that moment is also the moment when I started communicating interdimensionally,

  • when I saw the process and "God," as I experienced it as such at the moment, and understood it.

  • And I started seeing demons from a different perspective.

  • I even started seeing demons in human beings.

  • Wow. I saw them a lot.

  • I was quite-- I remember sometimes, you know when people come to your car and ask for money?

  • Occasionally, there were many demons inside them. sometimes three, four.

  • And I'd just take them all out. As I go and see demons inside people, I'd just take them out.

  • And when I saw the dark spots or colors on human beings or dimensional beings,

  • I'd immediately assist them.

  • And tell them what those dark spots are, explain to them where they come from,

  • so that they would be able to understand what they are doing to themselves and what are creating those dark spots.

  • And their essence and being is the white expression--

  • a "white light to white light" expression, (but it wasn't the White Light).

  • This lasted for a week. Only one week.

  • Because after a week, that's when I "fell," as I have said before.

  • Now this "falling" had happened because, as I have explained, people around me started becoming jealous

  • and angry and resentful because (their attitude became thus: "How dare this nineteen-year-old girl tell me all this stuff about me? I refuse this."

  • Of course, I had no one liking me at all.

  • Most everyone got angry because I basically spoke the truth, directly.

  • This is what it is, this is what you are doing to yourself, and of course no one, no people like hearing the truth, do they?

  • The honest, direct truth. Nope. They get angry.

  • I know that as well. So I fell.

  • Now, where would a person go that "falls" in "searches for themselves" again?

  • Because when I fell, I started becoming again:

  • I didn't love myself, I didn't appreciate myself, I got angry at myself,.

  • Everything that I had experienced as myself: my self-esteem, self - love,

  • self - honesty, directness, openness, vulnerability, everything just went pfffft! Gone.

  • And where did I go to look for all that?

  • In a relationship.

  • So I had one relationship, no...

  • two, three... since that time. Trying to "find myself" again.

  • Trying to feel loved. Trying to feel accepted.

  • But all of them fell. Went right back slap into my face. You know

  • the whole experience where that one guy was so handsome and et cetera, and you'd go *swoon* "My God,

  • yes! I'm going to have him" type thing, and you go him. And you get him.

  • And you have an experience, but for a short while. And then you fall.

  • As it was also the first time, of course, I experienced sex. When I was eighteen it was the first time.

  • No, Nineteen. Sorry. Nineteen years old. The first time.

  • And it's fascinating because most of the guys I had been with, I experienced like, them abusing me instead of realizing

  • that I was responsible for myself. My own self-abuse.

  • Because I was abusing myself and believing that I'm going to find this self-love and self-acceptance-- I'm going to find ME again

  • that I'd "lost," because I had fallen in a relationship.

  • And so my endeavor was finding a relationships.

  • So there was this... the last relationship that I was in, the one that I had to completely--

  • no, the one that I gave up. The one that I made a choice to give up.

  • To stand up as all as one.

  • Which then opened up the "key" to the ability to be able to get out of my body completely.

  • It was interesting, because in terms of society - relationship,

  • that would have been, what do you call... "perfect match" bullshit, you know?

  • And

  • then one day, we were also again together at this whole gathering together...

  • Now him and I were together about... a year or so? I think. Maybe less.

  • And one evening we were sitting together and I said to Bernard,

  • "Bernard,

  • what do I have to do to

  • get this world sorted out?

  • Or to get Heaven as Earth, here? "

  • And he said, "You have to give up and let go of everything.

  • Everything you value. Everything you have worth of.

  • To give up and let go of everything. Nothing must remain but you.

  • And you have to make that choice." He said "choice" you have to make.

  • And so I said to him, I said, "I'll do it. I'll do anything. Just tell me what to do, I will do anything."

  • And after we had that conversation (I can't remember the exact words,

  • it's about along the lines it went. I said literally I'll do anything.

  • Just tell me what to do. And he said, you know, make that choice. You have to make a choice.

  • What are you willing to give up and let go to stand up for all as one?

  • And then Eagle put his hands on my back,

  • one evening. And we're sitting in front of the fireplace,

  • and he put his hands on my back. And he just said, "Let go."

  • And I relaxed my body completely. I just fell.

  • I let go of everything. Because it felt like to me in that moment like I was trying to hold on to my world so much,

  • trying to control everything, trying to keep everything together,

  • and I was so tired. Tired. I felt like I really wanted to die.

  • Maybe I did, you know. I just -- in terms of that "letting go," it was me just dying.

  • Because I was tired.

  • And I just, as I just let go, it felt like ,

  • "I hope God doesn't exist." But it felt like being in "God's Hands."

  • The Grace of "God" in me as me, in His Hands. Just experiencing that.

  • Just for a moment, I went--- it became me. As the entirety of me as experienced as the Grace of "God."

  • My body disappeared, the room disappeared, everything disappeared.

  • All that I experienced was literally being held in and as "God's Hands."

  • And Bernard/Eagle looked me up and he asked, "How was that experience?" And I shared with him.

  • It was literally like being held in "God's Hands." With God as God. Into infinity.

  • And so I turned around and lying in front of the fireplace,

  • and I kind of looked inside my stomach.

  • And I said to Eagle, "There's a demon in my solar plexus."

  • And he said, "Okay. Bring the demon through."

  • Now, to me, I was like -- He said to me, "Bring the demons through."

INTERVIEW 9: My Fall and Standing Up

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インターフェイスのある歴史(9):すべてをドロップ (連接口的歷史(9):放下所有)

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    Hhart Budha に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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