AND WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

AND WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

あなたのホスト、ステファン・コルバートです。

HUGE DAY IN AMERICAN DEMOCRACY.

アメリカ民主主義の重要な日。

FIRST OF ALL, IT STILL EXISTS.

まず第一に、それはまだ存在する。

I WOULD NOT HAVE PUT MY MONEY ON THAT!

私はそんなことにお金をかけたくなかった！

SECOND, CONTROL OF THE SENATE IS BEING DECIDED TONIGHT IN A

第二に、上院の支配権は今夜決定されます

SPECIAL ELECTION DOWN IN GEORGIA. VOTERS ARE FILLING TWO

SPECIAL ELECTION DOWN IN GEORGIA. VOTERS ARE FILLING TWO

COUNT THEM, TWO-- SENATE SEATS.

2人を数えろ 2人は上院の議席だ

THE RACES FEATURE CURRENT REPUBLICAN SENATOR AND RAPUNZEL

THE RACES FEATURE CURRENT REPUBLICAN SENATOR AND RAPUNZEL

STUNT DOUBLE, KELLY LOEFFLER, VERSUS SENIOR PASTOR OF THE

"スタント・ダブル ケリー・ロフラーと" "神学校の上級牧師との対決

EBENEEZER BAPTIST CHURCH AND MAN WHO GOT UP EARLY TO GET THE

EBENEEZER BAPTIST CHURCH AND MAN WHO GOT UP EARLY TO GET THE

GOOD SEAT AT CHURCH, RAPHAEL WARNOCK, ALONG WITH INCUMBENT

教会の良い席 ラファエル・ウォーノック 犠牲者と一緒に

SENATOR AND STAND-UP BOMBING AT THE SKI LODGE, DAVID PERDUE,

上院議員とスキーロッジでの爆弾テロ デイビッド・パデュー

VERSUS ACTIVIST FILMMAKER AND NEW HOT DOCTOR ON "GREY'S

グレイズ」の活動的な映画作家であり、新しい注目の医師でもある。

ANATOMY," JON OSSOFF.

ANATOMY」JON OSSOFF。

AND-- DO WE HAVE THIS?

AND-- DO WE HAVE THIS?

IS THIS IN?

これが入ってるのか？

AND I'M BEING TOLD "THE LATE SHOW" IS NOW READY TO PROJECT

AND I'M BEING TOLD "THE LATE SHOW" IS NOW READY TO PROJECT

THAT...

それは...

WE TAPED THIS SHOW AT 6:00 AND I HAVE NO ( BLEEP ) IDEA WHO

We TAPED THIS SHOW AT 6: 00 AND I HAVE NO ( BLEEP ) IDEA WHO

WON.

WONです。

TO SUPPORT THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES, LAST NIGHT, THE

共和党の候補者を支援するために、最後の夜には

PRESIDENT WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA-- AS DEVILS OFTEN DO-- AND HE KEPT

大統領はいつものように ジョージア州に降りて行った そして彼は維持した

HIS EYE ON THE PRIZE.

賞金に目を向けて

>> I WANT TO THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

HELLO, GEORGIA.

こんにちは、ジョージア

BY THE WAY, THERE IS NO WAY WE LOST GEORGIA.

ところで、ジョージアを失うなんてありえないわ

THERE'S NO WAY.

そんなことはない

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT WAS A RIGGED ELECTION, BUT

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT WAS A RIGGED ELECTION, BUT

WE ARE STILL FIGHTING IT, AND YOU WILL SEE WHAT IS GOING TO

私たちはまだ戦っています、あなたは何が起こるのかを見ることができます。

HAPPEN.

ハプニング。

>> Stephen: OH, HONEY, MOVE ON.

>> スティーブンああ ハニー 移動して

IT'S OVER!

終わりだ！

IT'S LIKE STARTING A BEST MAN SPEACH WITH, "I'M JUST SO HAPPY

IT'S LIKE STARTING A BEST MAN SPEACH WITH, "I'M JUST SO HAPPY

FOR KEVIN AND NICOLE.

ケビンとニコレのために

BY THE WAY, THERE IS NO WAY NICOLE DUMPED MY.

ところで、ニコレが私を降ろす方法はない。

THAT WAS A RIGGED BREAKUP.

それは不正な別れ方だった

NICOLE, HERE'S MY ROOM KEY.

ニコレ、私の部屋の鍵よ

KEVIN, WILL YOU BE MY BEST MAN?" WHILE I HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE.

KEVIN, WILL YOU BE MY BEST MAN?" WHILE I HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE.

AS IF THE HAVING SEX WAS A DUEL OF SOME KIND.

まるでセックスをすることが何かのデュエルであるかのように。

( LAUGHTER ) WHY?

( LAUGHTER ) なぜ？

HE'S LIKE, WHY-- JUST DO THE SCRIPT.

彼は、なぜ...どうして...ただスクリプトを実行してください。

NO!

駄目だ！

NO!

駄目だ！

IT'S 2021, BABY, NO RULES!

2021年よ ルールはないわ！

AND IT WOULDN'T BE A MAGA RALLY WITHOUT HUFFING A PAPER BAG FULL

そして、紙袋いっぱいのバッグをハフらずには、マガ・ラリーにはなれない。

OF NOSTALGIA.

ノスタルジアの。

>> THE WALL, THE WALL, THE WALL.

>> THE WALL, THE WALL, THE WALL.

REMEMBER, WE WILL BUILD A WALL.

忘れないで、私たちは壁を作ります。

WE'RE GONNA BUILD A WALL.

壁を作るんだ

AND THAT'S RIGHT, MEXICO IS PAYING FOR THE WALL.

そうだ メキシコは壁に金を払ってる

SO THEY'RE COMING UP NOW, THE CARAVANS.

SO THEY'RE COMING UP NOW, THE CARAVANS.

REMEMBER THE CARAVANS?

キャラバンを覚えているか？

>> Stephen: OH, MY GOD!

>> スティーブン何てこった！

THIS IS SO SAD!

これはとても悲しい！

HE SOUNDS LIKE THE WASHED-UP GUY AT YOUR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

HE SOUNDS LIKE THE WASHED-UP GUY AT YOUR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

GOING, "HEY PROM!

GOING「HEY PROM!

REMEMBER PROM?

REMEMBER PROM?

I'M GOING TO BE PROM KING AGAIN!

またプロムキングになるんだ！

AND MEXICO IS PAYING FOR MY TUXEDO RENTAL!"

"メキシコは私のトゥクセドのレンタル代を払ってる！"

NICOLE, YOU WANT TO GO TO PROM WITH ME?

ニコレ、一緒にプロムに行かない？

( LAUGHTER ) KEVIN CAN WATCH.

ケビンが見てるのよ

EVENTUALLY, THE PRESIDENT REMEMBERED THAT HE WAS THERE TO

EVENTUALLY, THE PRESIDENT REMEMBERED THAT HE WAS THERE TO

TALK ABOUT SOMEONE OTHER THAN HIMSELF, AND HIS BRAIN DONE

自分以外の人の話をして、自分の脳がやられた。

BROKE.

BROKE。

>> KELLY LOEFFLER AND DAVID PERDUE SHARE YOUR VAL-HOO.

>> KELLY LOEFFLER AND DAVID PERDUE SHARE YOUR VAL-HOO.

AND YOU KNOW THAT.

AND YOU KNOW THAT.

>> Stephen: NOT A GREAT INDICATION OF YOUR VALUES WHEN

>> スティーブン: あなたの価値を示す素晴らしい指標ではありません。

WHEN YOU CAN'T PRONOUNCE THE WORD "VALUES."

WHEN YOU CAN'T PRONOUNCE THE WORD "VALUES."

"YOUR HONOR, I AM A MAN OF INTETEGREE AND STRONG MERRALS.

"閣下、私は誠実で強い男です

I WOULD NEVER BREAK THE LAWWAAH."

I WOULD NEVER BREAK THE LAWWAAH."

BUT THE MAIN THING ON HIS MIND WAS TOMORROW'S CONGRESSIONAL

しかし、彼の頭の中にあったのは、明日の会議のことでした。

CERTIFICATION OF JOE BIDEN'S WIN.

CERTIFICATION OF JOE BIDEN'S WIN.

THE PRESIDENT STILL THINKS HE HAS A CHANCE TO SOMEHOW OVERTURN

大統領はまだ彼が何らかの形で 転換するチャンスがあると考えている

THAT, PARTLY BECAUSE THE GUY OVERSEEING THE CERTIFICATION

それは証明書を監督している奴のせいでもある

CEREMONY IS VICE PRESIDENT AND FEDERALLY PROTECTED FLY HABITAT,

式典は副大統領と連邦政府が保護したハエの生息地です。

MIKE PENCE.

マイク・ペンス

AND HE REALLY EXPECTS PENCE TO HAVE HIS BACK.

彼は本当にペンスの背中を期待していた

>> I HOPE MIKE PENCE COMES THROUGH FOR US.

>> >> I HOPE MIKE PENCE COMESROUGH FOR US.

I HAVE TO TELL YOU.

I HAVE TO TELL YOU.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I HOPE THAT OUR GREAT VICE

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I HOPE THAT OUR GREAT VICE

PRESIDENT, OUR GREAT VICE PRESIDENT COMES THROUGH FOR US.

大統領、我々の偉大な副大統領は、私たちのために通って来ます。

HE'S A GREAT GUY.

彼はいい奴だ

OF COURSE, IF HE DOESN'T COME THROUGH, I WON'T LIKE HIM QUITE

もちろん 彼が来ないなら 私は彼を好きになれないわ

AS MUCH.

同じくらい

>> Stephen: IF THIS WERE AN AFTER-SCHOOL SPECIAL, THIS IS

>> スティーブンこれが放課後のスペシャルだったら、これは

THE PART WHERE WE WOULD TELL MIKE PENCE THAT IF THE PRESIDENT

もし大統領がいたらとマイク・ペンスに伝える部分

SAYS HE WON'T LIKE YOU UNLESS YOU GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS, THEN

SAYS HE WON'T LIKE YOU UNLESS YOU GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS, THEN

HE DOESN'T REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU.

HE DOESN'T REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU.

HE SHOULD LIKE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE-- ALTHOUGH, WE UNDERSTAND

彼はあなたのことを好きになるべきだわ...でも、私たちは理解してるわ

WHY HE WOULDN'T, BECAUSE WHO YOU ARE IS MIKE PENCE.

WHY HE WOULDN'T, BECAUSE WHO YOU ARE IS MIKE PENCE.

BUT THE PRESIDENT WAS CONFIDENT THAT PENCE WOULD DO THE RIGHT

BUT THE PRESIDENT WAS CONFIDENT THAT PENCE WOULD DO THE RIGHT

THING, BY WHICH OF COURSE HE MEANS THE WRONG THING.

彼は間違ったことを意味している

>> MIKE IS A GREAT GUY.

>> >> MIKEはいい奴だ。

HE'S A-- HE'S A WONDERFUL MAN AND A SMART MAN, AND A MAN THAT

彼は...不思議な男で賢い男で、それに

I LIKE A LOT.

I LIKE A LOT.

BUT HE'S GONNA HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT IT AND HE-- YOU KNOW, ONE

BUT HE'S GONNA HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT IT AND HE-- YOU KNOW, ONE

THING WITH HIM, YOU'RE GONNA GET STRAIGHT SHOTS.

THING WITH HIM, YOU'RE GONNA GET STRAIGHT SHOTS.

HE'S GONNA CALL IT STRAIGHT.

HE'S GONNA CALL IT STRAIGHT.

>> Stephen: YEAH, MIKE PENCE IS GOING TO CALL IT STRAIGHT, AND

>> スティーブン：ああ、マイク・ペンスはストレートに言うつもりだ。

IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, HE'S GOING TO FORCE IT TO PRAY UNTIL IT

それが効かない場合は、それができるまで祈るように強制されます。

SAYS IT'S STRAIGHT.

SAYS IT'S STRAIGHT.

THE THING IS, PENCE'S ROLE AS PRESIDENT OF THE SENATE IS A

上院議長としてのペンスの役割は

PURELY CEREMONIAL JOB, AKIN TO THE PRESENTER OPENING THE

PURELY CEREMONIAL JOB, AKIN TO THE PRESENTER OPENING THE

ACADEMY AWARD ENVELOPE AND READING THE NAME OF THE MOVIE

ACADEMY AWARD ENVELOPE AND READING THE NAME OF THE MOVIE

THAT WON BEST PICTURE.

ベスト・ピクチャー賞を受賞しました。

YES, IT'S JUST LIKE THE OSCARS, WHICH IS WHY THEY'RE GOING TO

そうですね、OSCARSのようなもので、だからこそ行くのです。

SEND PENCE OUT WITH A MORE CHARISMATIC CO-PRESENTER.

SEND PENCE OUT WITH A MORE CHARISMATIC CO-PRESENTER.

( AS PENCE ) "YOU KNOW, TIMOTHEE CHALAMET,

( AS PENCE ) "YOU KNOW, TIMOTHEE CHALAMET.

MY FULL NAME IS MIKE-O-THEE PENCE-A-MET.

私のフルネームはMIKE-O-THEE PENCE-A-METです。

PAUSE FOR LAUGHTER.

笑いのための一時停止。

AND, NOW, THE WINNER OF THE 2020 ELECTION: 'LA LA LAND'!"

そして、今、2020年の選挙の勝者： 'LA LA LAND'！"

OF COURSE, THE PRESIDENT DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE CEREMONIAL FOR

もちろん 大統領は式典のやり方を知らない

AN ANSWER, TWEETING TODAY: "THE VICE PRESIDENT HAS THE

答えは、今日ツイッターでつぶやいた"副大統領が持っているのは

POWER TO REJECT FRAUDULENTLY CHOSEN ELECTORS."

"不正に選ばれた選挙人を拒否する力"

NO, HE DOESN'T!

いや、そうじゃない！

THE VICE PRESIDENT CAN'T ARBITRARILY DECIDE WHO'S THE

副大統領は誰が誰であるかを 仲裁的に決定することはできません

NEXT PRESIDENT.

NEXT PRESIDENT.

OTHERWISE, IN 2001, AL GORE WOULD HAVE PICKED AL GORE.

2001年には、アル・ゴアがアル・ゴアを選んでいたはずだ。

THE CONSTITUTION CLEARLY STATES THAT THE VICE PRESIDENT'S

憲法には副大統領の権限が明確に規定されています

PRIMARY POWER IS HAVING NO POWER!

主力とは、力を持たないことです。

THIS HAS GOT TO BE A PAINFUL MOMENT FOR PENCE, HAVING TO

これはペンスにとって苦痛な瞬間だ

CHOOSE BETWEEN THE COUNTRY HE LOVES AND THE MAN HE'S PLEDGED

彼が愛する国と彼が結婚した男の間で選択します。

TO HELP DESTROY IT.

破壊を助けるために

AS ONE PERSON CLOSE TO HIM SAID, "FOR PENCE, TOMORROW WILL BE

彼に近い人が言っていた "ペンスにとっては明日が勝負だ

GUT-WRENCHING."

GUT-WRENCHING."

ALMOST AS GUT-WRENCHING AS THE TIME HE ACCIDENTALLY ATE A

偶然にも人を食べた時と同じくらい 腸が痛みます

"SALTED" CRACKER.

"SALTED" CRACKER.

DONT TELL MOTHER.

お母さんにも言ってね

BUT PENCE ISN'T ENTIRELY ALONE.

ペンスは単独ではない

ON SATURDAY ON SATURDAY AT LEAST 12 G.O.P.

ON SATURDAY ON SATURDAY AT LEAST 12 G.O.P.

SENATORS ANNOUNCED THEY ARE GOING TO CHALLENGE BIDEN'S WIN.

SENATORS ANNOUNCED THEY ARE GOING TO CHALLENGE BIDEN'S WIN.

IT IS INSANE THAT U.S. SENATORS WOULD TRY TO SUBVERT DEMOCRACY

それは、米国の上院議員が民主主義をsubvertしようとすることは非常識です。

LIKE THIS.

LIKE THIS.

I MEAN, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

I MEAN, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

OH, THOSE PEOPLE.

あの人たち

YEAH, THAT CHECKS OUT.

YEAH, THAT CHECKS OUT.

IT LOOKS LIKE A CARTON OF EGGS.

卵の箱みたいだな

THE RINGLEADER OF THIS THREE-BRAIN-CELL CIRCUS IS

この三脳細胞の輪のリーダーは

TEXAS SENATOR AND BUS STATION PREACHER, TED CRUZ.

テキサス州の上院議員で バス停の教師のテッド・クルス

CRUZ WANTS AN ELECTION COMMISSION TO CONDUCT AN

CRUZ WANTS AN ELECTION COMMISSION TO CONDUCT AN

"EMERGENCY 10-DAY AUDIT" OF THE ELECTION RETURNS IN THE

"EMERGENCY 10-DAY AUDIT" OF THE ELECTION RETURNS IN THE

"DISPUTED STATES."

"DISPUTED STATES."

CRUZ ISN'T JUST DOING THIS BECAUSE HE'S RUNNING FOR

クルーズはこれをしていません 彼は立候補しているので、これをしています

PRESIDENT IN 2024.

2024年のPRESIDENT。

HE TRULY BELIEVES IN THE PRESIDENT'S CONSPIRACY THEORIES.

HE TRULY BELIEVES IN THE PRESIDENT'S CONSPIRACY THEORIES.

THAT'S WHY HE'S ALSO CALLING FOR A SPECIAL COMMISSION TO

THAT'S WHY HE'S ALSO CALLING FOR A SPECIAL COMMISSION TO

INVESTIGATE WHETHER HIS WIFE IS UGLY AND WHY HIS DAD KILLED

INVESTIGATE WHETHER HIS WIFE IS UGLY AND WHY HIS DAD KILLED

J.F.K.

ＪＦＫ

NOW, WHEN IT WAS HER TURN TO SPEAK AT THE RALLY, LOEFFLER

NOW, WHEN IT WAS HER TURN TO SPEAK AT THE RALLY, LOEFFLER

HANDCUFFED HERSELF TO THE CRAZY TRAIN:

HANDCUFFED HERSELF TO THE CRAZY TRAIN:

>> I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, GEORGIA.

>> そして発表がある ジョージア州

ON JANUARy 6th, I WILL OBJECT TO THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE VOTE.

1月6日に私は投票に反対します

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WHAT THE HUH??

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> スティーブン.何なの？

SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT-- YOU'RE CALLING FOR

SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT-- YOU'RE CALLING FOR

DISENFRANCHISING THE VOTERS IN ALL THE SWING STATES, INCLUDING

DISENFRANCHISING THE VOTERS IN ALL THE SWING STATES, INCLUDING

GEORGIA, THE STATE YOU'RE RUNNING IN, TODAY!

GEORGIA, THE STATE YOU'RE RUNNING IN, TODAY!

WELL, THAT EXPLAINS HER NEW AD: "YOUR VOTE IS WORTHLESS.

WELL, THAT EXPLAINS HER NEW AD: "YOUR VOTE IS WORTHLESS.

A PERFECT MATCH WITH KELLY LOEFFLER!"

A PERFECT MATCH WITH KELLY LOEFFLER!"

SPEAKING OF OVERSTAYING YOUR WELCOME: COVID.

歓迎されているのに長居しすぎたと言えばコヴィド

THE PANDEMIC CONTINUES TO SURGE OUT OF CONTROL IN THE...

THE PANDEMIC CONTINUES TO SURGE OUT OF CONTROL IN THE...

EVERYWHERE.

どこにでもある

AND I'LL GIVE YOU THE LATEST IN THIS NEVER-CHANGING STORY IN

AND I'LL GIVE YOU THE LATEST IN THIS NEVER-CHANGING STORY IN

TONIGHT'S EDITION OF: "CATCH A THIRD WAVE: ENDLESS

TONIGHT'S EDITION OF: "CATCH A THIRD WAVE: ENDLESS

BUMMER."

"バンマー"

( SUNG TO "AULD LANG SIGNE" ) ♪ MAY ALL INFECTIONS

( SUNG TO "AULD LANG SIGNE" ) ♪ MAY ALL INFECTIONS

BE FORGOT AND NEVER SANITIZED.

忘れ去られ、決して消毒されていません。

♪ MAY ALL INFECTIONS BE FORGOT AND ALL PHLEGM'S FINE! ♪

♪ MAY ALL INFECTIONS BE FORGOT AND ALL PHLEGM'S FINE! ♪

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I'M FAMOUS!

有名になった！

( COUGHING ) ( LAUGHTER )

( COUGHING ) ( LAUGHTER )

( COUGHING ) ( LAUGHTER )

( COUGHING ) ( LAUGHTER )

>> Stephen: THE VACCINE IS FINALLY HERE!

>> スティーブンVACCINEはついにここにある！

BUT NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE GETTING IT, UNFORTUNATELY, WHICH

しかし、多くの人々がそれを取得していない、不幸なことに、それは、どの

WAS NOT THE PLAN.

WAS NOT THE PLAN.

BACK IN NOVEMBER, THE PRESIDENT SAID 20 MILLION PEOPLE WOULD BE

BACK IN NOVEMBER, THE PRESIDENT SAID 20 MILLION PEOPLE WOULD BE

VACCINATED BY THE END OF 2020, BUT THE FIGURE WAS CLOSER

2020年の終わりまでには空胎化されたが、フィギアはそれに近づいていた。

TO FOUR MILLION.

TO FOUR MILLION.

SO THEY WILL BE OFFICIALLY CHANGING THE NAME FROM

SO THEY WILL BE OFFICIALLY CHANGING THE NAME FROM

"OPERATION WARP SPEED" TO "OPERATION...

"OPERATION WARP SPEED" TO "OPERATION...

>> WE CAN'T DO IT.

>> >> 俺たちにはできないんだ

>> Stephen: THANKS, SCOTTY.

>> スティーブンありがとう スコッティ

YESTERDAY, AT A PRE-ELECTION RALLY IN GEORGIA,

ジョージア州の選挙前の集会では

PRESIDENT-ELECT BIDEN WENT AFTER THE ADMINISTRATION'S VACCINE

PRESIDENT-ELECT BIDEN WENT AFTER THE ADMINISTRATION'S VACCINE

ROLLOUT.

ROLLOUT.

>> IT IS A SHAME WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW.

>> 今起きていることは恥ずかしいことです。

IT'S A LITERAL SHAME.

文字通りの恥だ

THIS ADMINISTRATION HAS GOTTEN OFF TO A GODAWFUL START.

この管理局は不幸なスタートを切った。

PRESIDENT SPENDS MORE TIME WHINING AND COMPLAINING THAN

大統領は、泣き言や文句を言うよりも多くの時間を費やしています。

DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THE PROBLEM.

問題について何かをすること。

I DON'T KNOW WHY HE STILL WANTS THE JOB.

彼がまだ仕事を望んでいる理由が分からない。

HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO THE WORK.

彼は仕事をしたくないんだ

( AS BIDEN ) >> "C'MON, YA LAZY SACK OF

( AS BIDEN ) >> "C'MON, YA LAZY SACK OF

DOORKNOBS!

ドアノブ！

IT'S LIKE MY OLD BOSS USED TO TELL ME WHEN I WAS A BUSBOY AT

昔の上司が言っていたように 俺がバスボーイだった頃の話

O'SHEENA-HANA-HALLA-HOOLIGAN'S, 'IF YOU GOT TIME TO LEAN, YOU

オシェナ-ハナ-ハラ-ホーリガンズ、'If You GOT TIME TO LEAN, YOU GOT TIME TO LEAN, YOU

GOT TIME TO VACCINE.' BUT ON JANUARY 20th, IT'S OFF TO

"ワクチンを打つ時間があるだが１月２０日には

WORK I GO!

仕事だ！

HEIGH-HO, HEIGH-HO, JACK!

HEIGH-HO, HEIGH-HO, JACK!

WANT FRIES WITH THAT?

フライドポテトは？

NO FREE REFILLS!

無料のリフィルはありません

GET OUT OF HERE!

ここから出て行け！

GET OUT OF HERE, KID!" ONE PROBLEM IS THAT THE

ここから出て行け、小僧！"一つの問題は、

ADMINISTRATION HAS SETTLED ON THE COVID PLAN OF, "NOT IT!"

ADMINISTRATION HAS SETTLED ON THE COVID PLAN OF, "NOT IT!"

BECAUSE FEDERAL OFFICIALS LEFT MANY OF THE DETAILS OF VACCINE

BECAUSE FEDERAL OFFICIALS LEFT MANY OF THE DETAILS OF VACCINE

DISTRIBUTION TO OVERSTRETCHED LOCAL HEALTH OFFICIALS AND

DISTRIBUTION TO OVERSTRETCHED LOCAL HEALTH OFFICIALS AND

HOSPITALS, WHICH IS WHY IN NEW YORK CITY, NO ONE HAS ANY

病院、それがニューヨーク市ではなぜか、誰も持っていない。

IDEA HOW TO GET VACCINATED, BUT YOU CAN STILL GET CONTACTLESS

IDEA HOW TO GET VACCINATED, BUT YOU CAN STILL GET CONTACTLESS

DELIVERY OF MARIJUANA AT 2:00 IN THE MORNING.

朝の2時にマリフアナを配達します。

FORGET HOSPITALS-- SHIP ALL THOSE VIALS TO DR. COLLEGE

病院のことは忘れて... 全ての価値あるものを DR.大学へ

FRIEND'S ROOMMATE.

友達のルームメイト

STATE AND LOCAL GOVERNMENTS HAVE BEEN OVERWHELMED.

州政府と地方政府は助けられてきました。

IN HOUSTON, ON THE FIRST FREE DAY OF A VACCINATION CLINIC,

IN HOUSTON, ON THE FIRST FREE DAY OF A VACCINATION CLINIC,

AFTER RECEIVING MORE THAN 250,000 CALLS, THE CITY HEALTH

25万件以上の電話を受けた後、市の健康

DEPARTMENT'S PHONE SYSTEM CRASHED.

DEPARTMENT'S PHONE SYSTEM CRASHED.

THAT'S RIGHT, OUR VACCINE ROLLOUT LACKS THE ROBUST

THAT'S RIGHT, OUR VACCINE ROLLOUT LACKS THE ROBUST

TECHNOLOGY OF THE BUTTERBALL HOTLINE.

TECHNOLOGY OF THE BUTTERBALL HOTLINE.

VACCINE SIGN-UP WEBSITES HAVE ALSO BEEN CRASHING LEFT AND

VACCINEサインアップウェブサイトは、左と左にクラッシュしています。

RIGHT, SO INSTEAD, ONE COUNTY IN OKLAHOMA

そうだ、すぐにOKLAHOMAの1つの郡だ

ANNOUNCED APPOINTMENTS ONLY THROUGH FACEBOOK.

FACEBOOKでのみ指名を発表します。

SO DON'T WORRY, YOUR LIFE-SAVING MEDICAL TREATMENT IS RIGHT

心配しないでください、あなたの命を救う医学的治療が正しいのです。

THERE, BETWEEN YOUR COUSIN'S WEIRDLY EROTIC

そこ、あなたのいとこの奇妙なエロティックな間に

PREGNANCY PHOTOSHOOT, AND YOUR COWORKER'S ECZEMA FUNDRAISER.

妊娠中の写真撮影、そしてあなたの牛飼いのECZEMA募金活動。

ONE STATE REALLY STRUGGLING WITH VACCINE DISTRIBUTION IS

ONE STATE REALLY STRUGGLING WITH VACCINE DISTRIBUTION IS

CALIFORNIA, WHERE THE GOVERNOR HAS A NEW PLAN.

カリフォルニア州 政府は新しい計画を持っています

YESTERDAY, HE ANNOUNCED THAT HE WANTS DENTISTS TO HELP WITH

YESTERDAY, HE ANNOUNCED THAT HE WANTS DENTISTS TO HELP WITH

COVID-19 VACCINATIONS.

COVID-19 VACCINATIONS.

IN RESPONSE, DENTISTS ISSUED A STATEMENT SAYING, "WELL, WELL,

これに呼応して、歯科医は「よく、よく」という声明を出しました。

WELL.

まあね。

LOOK WHO'S SUDDENLY A REAL DOCTOR!

誰が本物の医者だと思っているのか見てください！

YOU DON'T SEE THEM GIVING NEEDLES TO CHIROPRACTORS!"

整形外科医に針を渡しているのを 見たことがないだろう！」

THE HEAD OF THE CALIFORNIA DENTAL ASSOCIATION RESPONDED TO

カリフォルニア州歯科医師会の会長からの回答

THE GOVERNOR'S CALL, SAYING THAT "DENTISTS ARE READY, WILLING,

政府の呼び出しは、"歯科医は準備ができている、意志がある "と言っています。

AND ABLE TO HELP ADMINISTER VACCINATIONS."

"ワクチン接種を管理するのを 手伝うことができる"

UNFORTUNATELY, SHE SAID THAT AFTER SHE ALREADY HAD HER HANDS

不幸なことに、彼女はすでに手にした後に言った。

IN THE GOVERNOR'S MOUTH, SO ALL HE COULD DO WAS NOD AND MUMBLE.

政府の口の中で、彼ができることは、うなずきながらつぶやいていた。

OF COURSE, THE PRESIDENT IS TAKING FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR

もちろん、大統領は完全な責任を負っています

THE BOTCHED ROLLOUT, AND THEN HURLING THAT RESPONSIBILITY

ボッチされたロールアウト、そしてその責任感を傷つけた。

AT THE STATES, TWEETING, "SOME STATES ARE VERY

州では、ツイッターで「SOME STATES ARE VERY」と言っています。

SLOW TO INOCULATE RECIPIENTS DESPITE SUCCESSFUL AND VERY

成功したと非常にレシピエントを接種するには遅い

LARGE-SCALE DISTRIBUTION OF VACCINES BY THE FEDERAL

LARGE-SCALE DISTRIBUTION OF VACCINES BY THE FEDERAL

GOVERNMENT."

"GOVERNMENT"

YOU KNOW, SOME MASSIVE NATIONAL PROJECTS MAYBE SHOULD JUST NOT