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  • How to Spend New Year's Eve Alone.


  • Don't think of it as spending New Year's Eve alone; think of it as going to the most exclusive party mathematically possible.


  • You will need plenty of champagne, paper plates, and decorations. Optional : empty coffee cans, coins, pots and pans, and music.


  • Step 1. Arrive at the video store five minutes before closing and agonize over the remaining DVDs: "Dora the Explorer," "Bonanza," and a German movie about people crying.

    ステップ 1. 閉店 5 分前にレンタルビデオ店に到着し、残りの「ドーラといっしょに大冒険」、「ボナンザ」、泣くことをテーマとしたドイツ映画を見て悩みます。

  • Take all threenow is not the time to be proud.

    3 つを全部取ってください。今は慢心している場合ではありません。

  • Step 2. Upon returning home, open the bottle of champagne to alleviate your crushing disappointment.

    ステップ 2 . 帰宅後、圧倒的な失望感を和らげるためにシャンパンを開けます。

  • Step 3. Fashion New Year's hats from paper plates and decorate with leftover holiday ribbons and bows.

    ステップ 3 . 紙皿で新年用の帽子を作り、余ったリボンや弓で飾ります。

  • Fill empty coffee cans with handfuls of coins. Cover and shake. Voilanoisemakers!


  • Reward your creative triumph by starting in on a second bottle of champagne.

    クリエイティブな自分にご褒美に、2 本目のシャンパンを飲みましょう。

  • No coffee cans or coins? No problem! Just bang some pots and pans every now and then.


  • Step 4. Skip the usual cereal for dinner and decide to make a big, comforting bowl of pasta primaveraonly to realize you have no pasta, no vegetables, and no sauce.

    ステップ 4 . いつも夕食に食べるシリアルをいったんやめて、大きめの、元気づけるパスタ・プリマヴェーラを作りましょう。自分にパスタ、野菜、ソースを持っていないことに気づかせるために。

  • Curse the "You Will Need" section.


  • Step 5. Get take-out for dinner instead. Search for take-out menus.

    ステップ 5. 夕食をテイクアウトにします。 テイクアウトメニューを探しましょう。

  • Where are they? Maybe additional champagne will help you find them.


  • Quadruple your usual take-out order, like you're expecting guests, to avoid a pitying look from delivery boy.


  • Step 6. Call your last significant other under the guise of "just wishing you a Happy New Year.”

    ステップ 6. 「新年の挨拶」という名目で、元恋人に電話しましょう。

  • Maintain composure when the person repeatedly says "Who? Who is this? I don't know anyone by that name," while another voice in the background urges them to hang up and come back to bed.


  • Dial *67 before calling former lovers to disable caller ID.


  • They may know it's you, but they can't prove it.


  • Step 7. Don a homemade party hat and put the remainder on your pets.

    ステップ7. 手作りのパーティーハットをかぶって、残りのをペットにかぶせます。

  • You can tell they like it by the growling and hissing.


  • That third bottle of champagne isn't going to open itself, you know.

    3 本目のシャンパンは、自動的に開くものではないんですよね。

  • Step 8. Lie down on the couch shortly before midnight and promptly pass out, missing the big moment.

    ステップ 8 . 重要な瞬間を逃すために、真夜中の少し前にソファに横になって意識をすぐに飛ばしましょう。

  • Wake up at 4 a.m. with a throbbing headache and a horrible taste in your mouth.

    午前 4 時に起きて、ズキズキとした頭痛と口の中の嫌な味を感じて、

  • Stumble to the bathroom.


  • Here's to next year!


  • Did you know seven percent of Americans don't bother celebrating New Year's Eve?

    7 %のアメリカ人が大晦日を祝わないということをご存知ですか?

How to Spend New Year's Eve Alone.


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