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  • >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

    >> スティーブンヘイ、みんな!

  • WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

    WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

  • I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT, I'M FLAD TO BE YOUR HOST

    ♪ I'M M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT, I'M FLAD TO BE YOUR HOST ♪

  • TONIGHT, ALL NIGHTS, BUT PARTICULARLY TONIGHT IS AN

    TONIGHT, ALL NIGHTS, BUT PARTICULARLY TONIGHT IS AN

  • HISTORICAM NIGHT IN THE ANNALS OF TELEVISION.

    ヒストリカム・ナイト・イン・ザ・テレビジョン。

  • TONIGHT IS THE FIRST NIGHT I AM SITTING DOWN WITH A GUEST IN

    TONIGHT IS THE FIRST NIGHT I AM SITTING DOWN WITH A GUEST IN

  • PERSON "THE LATE SHOW"" AND WHO ELSE DO YOU WANT TO

    PERSON "THE LATE SHOW"" AND WHO ELSE DO YOU WANT TO

  • BREAK THAT SEAL WITH BUT PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.

    バラク・オバマ大統領と一緒にシールを破る。

  • THAT'S RIGHT, BARACK OBAMA, MY GUEST TONIGHT.

    THAT'S RIGHT, BARACK OBAMA, MY GUEST TONIGHT.

  • THREE ACTS?

    THREE ACTS?

  • THREE ACTS OF BARACK OBAMA.

    バラク・オバマの3つの行動。

  • AND YOU GO, "IS THAT-- SEEMS LIKE A LONG TIME"

    AND YOU GO, "IS THAT-- SEEMS LIKE A LONG TIME"

  • NO, IT'S NOT.

    いや、そうじゃない。

  • YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HOW QUICKLY IT FLIES.

    こんなに速く飛ぶなんて信じられないよ。

  • FIRST ACT, OBVIOUSLY, JUST FRIENDS HANGING OUT.

    第一幕、明らかに、ただの友人同士のハングアウト。

  • POWER PACKED THOUGH, AND REALLY SUBSTANTIVE.

    徹底したパワー、そして本当に素晴らしい。

  • NEXT ACT WE'RE GOING TO MOVE SOME PAPER.

    次の幕では紙を移動します。

  • WE'RE GOG SELL SOME BOOKS.

    WE'RE GOG SELL SOME BOOKS.

  • SUPER FUN AT THE SAME TIME.

    SUPER FUN AT THE SAME TIME.

  • THEN THE THIRD ACT, WE PLAY BASKETBALL.

    THEN THE THIRD ACT, WE PLAY BASKETBALL.

  • THAT'S HISTORIC.

    それは歴史的だ

  • THAT IS AN HISTORIC GAME.

    歴史的なゲームだ

  • WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THE RESULTS.

    結果を見るまで待ってください。

  • AND, YES, THERE WAS SOME WAGERING.

    そして、そうです、多少の衰えがありました。

  • ANYWAY, HOW MANY QUESTIONS DID I GET IN?

    ANYWAY, HOW MANY QUESTIONS DID I GET IN?

  • >> THREE.

    3. >> THREE.

  • >> Stephen: THREE QUESTIONS, 20 MINUTES.

    >> スティーブン3つの質問、20分。

  • HE WAS VERY GRACIOUS.

    彼はとても優美だった

  • THANK YOU AGAIN, MR. PRESIDENT, FOR SITTING DOWN WITH US.

    ありがとうございました、MR.大統領、私たちと一緒に座ってくれてありがとう

  • YOU KNOW WHO HE IS MARRIED TO, THAT MICHELLE OBAMA.

    彼が誰と結婚しているか知っていますか?あのミシェル・オバマです。

  • THAT WOULD BE A GREAT GUEST.

    最高のゲストになるだろうな

  • THAT, THAT WOULD BE A GREAT GUEST.

    それは、それは素晴らしいゲストになるだろう。

  • NOT THAT HE'S NOT A GOOD GUEST.

    彼が良いゲストではないということではありません。

  • HE'S A GREAT GUEST, BUT EVERYBODY LOVES HER.

    彼は素晴らしいゲストですが、誰もが彼女を愛しています。

  • EVERYBODY LOVES HER.

    誰もが彼女を愛している

  • I'M ALSO JOINING YOU ON-- IS THAT TOO LONG A PAUSE?

    私も一緒に参加します -- ちょっと長すぎるかな?

  • I WAS JUST INSPIRED BY THE PRESIDENT.

    私はただ大統領に感化されただけです。

  • IT WAS AN OBAMA-ESQUE PAUSE.

    それは、オバマ・エスクの間だった。

  • I'M ALSO JOINING YOU ON AN HISTORIC DAY FOR FANS OF

    I'M ALSO JOINING YOU ON AN HISTORIC DAY FOR FANS OF

  • CAPITALISM, BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, THE DOW HIT

    CAPITALISM, BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, THE DOW HIT

  • 30,000.

    30,000.

  • WOW!

    うわぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁぁ

  • THAT IS IS... SO MANY OF THEM.

    それは...沢山の人が

  • OF THE DOW... POWNTS?

    ダウの...POWNTS?

  • IS IT DOW POINTS.

    それはダウポイントです。

  • DOWELLINGS.

    目標。

  • IS IT DOW DROPS.

    IS IT DOW DROPS.

  • DOW UNITS.

    DOW UNITS.

  • 30,000 DOWS, DOWELLINGS.

    3万のダウリングス、ダウリングス。

  • LET ME PUT IT IN LEHMAN'S TERMS.

    レマンの言葉で言ってみましょう。

  • IF YOU PUT ALL 30,000 OF THOSE DOW POINTS END TO END, IT WOULD

    30,000個のダウポイントをすべて最後まで入れたら、それは素晴らしいことです。

  • STRETCH ALL THE WAY TO THE S&P 500.

    STRETCH ALL THE WAY TO THE S&P 500.

  • I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.

    実際には何が何だか分からないんだ

  • I THINK EACH DOW IS LIKE A TICKET AT CHUCK E.

    I think EACH DOW IS LIKE TICKET AT CHUCK E.

  • CHEESE.

    チーズ

  • WHEN IT WAS AT 25,000, AMERICA COULD GET A STUFFED BUNNY.

    25,000ドルの時には、アメリカはスタッフィングバニーを手に入れることができました。

  • NOW WE'RE AT 30,000, AND WE COULD GO FOR THE BEAR OR THE BIG

    30,000になりました クマかビッグのどちらを狙うかです

  • LION, OR THE FULL-SIZED FOOTBALL.

    LION, OR THE FULL-SIZED FOOTBALL.

  • ANYWAY, WHATEVER THEY ARE, IT'S A LOT OF THEM.

    とにかく、それが何であれ、それは多くの人のものです。

  • SO, TO EVERYONE WHO WORKS ON WALL STREET, CONGRATULATIONS.

    だから、ウォールストリートで働くすべての人に、おめでとうございます。

  • AND TO EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T WORK ON WALL STREET, GOOD LUCK WITH

    ウォールストリートで働いていない全ての人へ 幸運を祈ります

  • THAT.

    THAT.

  • NEVER ONE TO PASS UP AN OPPORTUNITY TO GLOAT FOR

    NEVER ONE TO PASS UP AN OPPORTUNITY TO GLOAT FOR

  • SOMETHING HE'S NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR, THE PRESIDENT HELD AN

    彼には責任のないことで 大統領は会議を開いた

  • IMPROMPTU PRESS CONFERENCE TO CONGRATULATE HIMSELF FOR THE

    IMPROMPTU PRESS CONFERENCE TO CONGRATULATE HIMSELF FOR THE

  • DOW JONES NUMBERS GOING BIG ON THE MONEY CHART.

    ダウ・ジョーンズの数字が収益チャートで大暴落しています。

  • >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND I JUST WANT TO CONGRATULATE

    >> 仝ありがとうございました。

  • EVERYBODY.

    すべての人に。

  • THE STOCK MARKET, DOW JONES INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE JUST HIT

    株式市場、ダウジョーンズ工業の平均株価は、ちょうどヒットしました。

  • 30,000, WHICH IS THE HIGHEST IN HISTORY.

    歴史上最高の3万人。

  • THE STOCK MARKET'S JUST BROKEN 30,000, NEVER BEEN BROKEN, THAT

    株式市場は3万ドルを突破したばかりで 今まで一度も突破したことはありません。

  • NUMBER.

    番号は?

  • THAT IS A SACRED NUMBER, 30,000.

    それは神聖な数字だ 3万だ

  • >> Stephen: YES, A SACRED NUMBER.

    >> スティーブン:はい、神聖な番号です。

  • AS JESUS HIMSELF SAID, "BLESSED BE THE NUMBER 30,000, FOR, MAN,

    イエスご自身が言われたように、「人間は3万人の数に祝福されている。

  • THAT'S A LOT OF WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE COUNTING.

    THAT'S A LOT OF WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE COUNTING.

  • SHEEP?

    シープ?

  • WHAT ELSE DO WE OWN AROUND HERE?

    この辺には何があるんだ?

  • NOTHING."

    "何もない"

  • GOTTA BE SHEEP.

    GOTTA BE SHEEP.

  • THEN, JUST ONE MINUTE AND 15 SECONDS AFTER THE PRESS

    そして、プレスからわずか1分15秒後に

  • CONFERENCE STARTED, IT TURNED OUT IT WASN'T A PRESS

    会議が始まったが、それはプレスではないことが判明した。

  • CONFERENCE.

    CONFERENCE.

  • IT WAS JUST A BRAG 'N DASH, BECAUSE HE LEFT WITHOUT TAKING

    彼は何も取らずに出て行ったから ただのブラグンダッシュだったのよ

  • ANY QUESTIONS.

    ANY QUESTIONS.

  • >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY.

    >> 皆さん、本当にありがとうございました。

  • THANK YOU.

    THANK YOU.

  • (CROSSTALK) (REPORTERS SHOUTING QUESTIONS)

    (CROSSTALK) (REPORTERS SHOUTING QUESTIONS)

  • >> MR. PRESIDENT-- >> MR. PRESIDENT--

    >> MR.大統領...大統領は...

  • >> SIR, WHY NOT... FOR THE GOOD OF THE COUNTRY, SIR.

    >> SIR, WHY NOT... FOR THE GOOD OF THE COUNTRY, SIR.

  • ( BLEEP ) >> Stephen: STIRRING WORDS THAT

    ( BLEEP ) >> Stephen: STIRRING WORDS THAT

  • SOMEDAY, NO DOUBT, WILL GRACE THE FACADE OF HIS PRESIDENTIAL

    SOMEDAY, NO DOUBT, WILL GRACE THE FACADE OF HIS PRESIDENTIAL

  • LIBRARY.

    図書館だ

  • THIS WAS A RARE POTUS SIGHTING.

    THIS WAS A RARE POTUS SIGHTING.

  • SINCE THE ELECTION, HE'S MADE FEW PUBLIC APPEARANCES.

    SINCE THE ELECTION, HE'S MADE FEW PUBLIC APPEARANCES.

  • HE KNOWS THAT IF HE COMES OUT OF HIS BUNKER AND SEES HIS SHADOW,

    HE KNOWS THAT IF HE COMES OUT OF HIS BUNKER AND SEES HIS SHADOW,

  • HE'LL ONLY HAVE SIX MORE WEEKS OF PRESIDENT.

    HE'LL ONLY HAVE SIX MORE WEEKS OF PRESIDENT.

  • BUT TODAY, HE HAD A PRESSING MATTER OF NATIONAL SECURITY: THE

    しかし、今日、彼は国家安全保障の逼迫した問題を抱えていました。

  • ANNUAL TURKEY PARDON.

    年に一度のトルコの恩赦。

  • THIS YEAR'S STAR TURKEYS WERE NAMED CORN AND COB.

    THIS YEAR'S STAR TURKEYS WERE NAMED CORN AND COB.

  • WE HAVE SOME FOOTAGE OF THEM ARRIVING IN D.C. FOR THEIR BIG

    ワシントンに到着した映像があります

  • DAY.

    日目

  • HERE THEY ARE ARRIVING AT THE ICONIC WILLARD HOTEL, GREETING

    HERE THEY ARE ARRIVING AT THE ICONIC WILLARD HOTEL, GREETING

  • THEIR THRONGS OF FANS, AND THEN RELAXING IN SOME PLUSH BEDS,

    ファンの綱渡りをして、豪華なベッドでくつろいでいます。

  • WHERE THEY ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR PRIVILEGE DURING AN EXPLODING

    爆発的な爆発の中で自分の特権を認識している場所

  • HOMELESS CRISIS.

    HOMELESS CRISIS.

  • OUR SOON-TO-BE FORMER LEADER MADE IT CLEAR HOW FORTUNATE THE

    もうすぐ元リーダーになる私たちが、世界がいかに恵まれているかを明らかにしてくれました。

  • PARDONED BIRD WAS.

    PARDONED BIRD WAS.

  • >> NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE MOMENT OF OUR GUESTS OF HONOR.

    >> >> 今こそ、私たちの栄誉あるゲストの瞬間の時です。

  • THEY HAVE BEEN WAITING.

    THEY HAVE BEEN WAITING.

  • AND, IN THIS CASE, HE HAS BEEN WAITING FOR THIS.

    そして、このケースでは、彼はこれを待っていた。

  • BRING THEM OUT.

    奴らを連れ出せ

  • LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL BIRD.

    あの美しい、美しい鳥を見てください。

  • OH, SO LUCKY.

    ああ、とてもラッキーだ。

  • THAT IS A LUCKY BIRD.

    それは幸運な鳥です。

  • >> Stephen: YES, IT'S A LUCKY, LUCKY BIRD... TO HAVE A BETTER

    >> スティーブン:YES, IT'S A LUCKY, LUCKY BIRD...より良いものを手に入れるために

  • LEGAL TEAM THAN THE PRESIDENT.

    大統領よりも法的なチーム。

  • THEN HE SAID THE WORDS THAT SO MANY WHO HAVE WORKED FOR THIS

    THEN HE SAID THE WORDS THAT SO MANY WHO HAVE WORKED FOR THIS

  • ADMINISTRATION HAVE LONGED TO HEAR:

    ADMINISTRATION HAVE LONGED TO HEAR:

  • >> I HEREBY GRANT YOU A FULL PARDON.

    >> 私はあなたに全面的な 恩赦を与えます

  • >> Stephen: THERE YOU HAVE IT-- AN INNOCENT TURKEY PARDONED BY A

    >> スティーブンこれだよ -- 無実のトルコ人が 恩赦されたんだ

  • LAME DUCK.

    DUCK BLADE。

  • AND HE JUST GOT A LITTLE BIT LAMER BECAUSE LAST NIGHT, THE

    AND HE JUST GOT A LITTLE BIT LAMER BECAUSE LAST NIGHT, THE

  • GENERAL SERVICES ADMINISTRATION FINALLY DECLARED THAT BIDEN CAN

    GENERAL SERVICES ADMINISTRATION FINALLY DECLARED THAT BIDEN CAN

  • BEGIN HIS TRANSITION.

    彼の転生を始めろ

  • HIS TRANSITION, EVEN THOUGH THE CURRENT PRESIDENT STILL HASN'T

    彼の転身、たとえ現在の大統領がまだであったとしても

  • CONCEDED, AND HE'S NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

    判決を受けたが、彼はそれについて満足していない。

  • I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN TONIGHT'S EXCITING INSTALLMENT

    今夜のエキサイティングなインスタ映えで全てをお伝えします。

  • OF...

    of...

  • ( TO TUNE OF "JINGLE BELLS" ) ♪ SCREW YOURSELF

    ( 「JINGLE BELLS」の曲に合わせて) ♪ SCREW YOURSELF

  • SCREW YOURSELF ♪ I WON'T GO AWAY

    ♪自分をねじ込んでも逃げない♪

  • >> "THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE."

    >> "THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE."

  • >> Stephen: WHEN THINGS GO WRONG FOR THE PRESIDENT, HE LOOKS DEEP

    >> スティーブン:物事が大統領のためにうまくいかないとき、彼は深いところを見ています。

  • INSIDE AND TRIES TO UNDERSTAND WHO HE'S GOING TO BLAME.

    誰を非難しようとしているのかを 理解しようとしている

  • IN THIS CASE, THE NEEDLE LANDED ON HIS PERSONAL ATTORNEY AND

    このケースでは、針は彼の個人的な弁護士と

  • BILBO POSSESSED BY THE ONE RING, RUDY GIULIANI.

    BILBO POSSESSED BY THE ONE RING, RUDY GIULIANI.

  • AFTER RUDY'S DISASTROUS PRESS CONFERENCE LAST WEEK, AIDES SAY

    AFTER RUDY'S DISASTROUS PRESS CONFERENCE LAST WEEK, AIDES SAY

  • THE PRESIDENT STARTED TO WORRY THAT HIS LEGAL TEAM "IS COMPOSED

    THE PRESIDENT STARTED TO WORRY THAT HIS LEGAL TEAM "IS COMPOSED

  • OF FOOLS THAT ARE MAKING HIM LOOK BAD."

    "彼を悪者にしている愚か者たち"

  • NO, SIR, THAT'S YOUR HAIR AND MAKEUP TEAM.

    NO, SIR, THAT'S YOUR HAIR AND MAKEUP TEAM.

  • BUT ONE OF THE KEY CONFIDENCE KILLERS COULD HAVE BEEN WHEN

    しかし、重要な確信殺人者の一つは、その時にいたかもしれません。

  • RUDY HAD THIS LITERAL MELTDOWN.

    ルディはこのような致命的なメルトダウンを持っていた。

  • EVEN IF IT'S CLOSE TO THANKSGIVING, THE PRESIDENT

    感謝祭に近づいていても 大統領

  • DOESN'T WANT A LAWYER WHO MAKES HIS OWN GRAVY.

    DOESN'T WANT A LAWYER WHO MAKES HIS YOUR OWN GRAVY.

  • NOW, IT MAY BE HARD TO IMAGINE, BUT RUDY WASN'T ALWAYS THE TROLL

    NOW, IT MAY BE HARD TO IMAGINE, BUT RUDY WASN'T ALWAYS THE TROLL

  • LIVING UNDER AMERICA'S BRIDGE.

    アメリカの橋の下で暮らしています。

  • JUST 18 YEARS AGO, HE WAS ALMOST UNIVERSALLY HAILED AS A NATIONAL

    ほんの18年前には、世界中から国民的な注目を集めていました。

  • HERO.

    HERO.

  • IN FACT, THIS MORNING, THE INTERNET UPCHUCKED A NEWLY

    実は、今朝、インターネットは新しいものをアップチャックしました。

  • REDISCOVERED CLIP OF A 2003 RUDY BIOPIC FEATURING ACTOR AND GUY

    2003年に公開された俳優とギューが共演したルーディ・バイオピックのクリップが再発見されました。

  • ON THE SUBWAY WHO KEEPS MENTIONING THE SEAT NEXT TO HIM

    地下鉄で誰が隣の席のことを言ってくるのか

  • IS FREE, JAMES WOODS.

    無料です、ジェームズ・ウッドズ

  • WOODS-- 1600 ON HIS S.A.T.s, JUST ASK HIM AND HE'LL TELL

    ウッズ... S. A. T. で1600だ 彼に聞いてくれれば教えてくれる

  • YOU-- UNIRONICALLY PORTRAYED GIULIANI AS A ROMANTIC IDEALIST.

    あなたは ジウリアーニをロマン主義的な理想主義者として 誤って描いていましたね

  • HERE'S JUST A TASTE.

    ここにあるのは、ただの味見です。

  • >> THAT'S WHAT MY FATHER TAUGHT ME.

    >> THAT'S WHAT MY FATHER TAUGHT ME.

  • MY DAD AND MY OTHER HEROES: WINSTON CHURCHILL, BOBBY KENNEDY

    私の父と私の他のヒーロー:ウィンストン・チャーチル、ボビー・ケネディ

  • >> DEMOCRATS.

    >> 民主党。

  • >> AS I ONCE WAS.

    >> かつての私のように。

  • >> WHY'D YOU SWITCH?

    >> WHY'D YOU SWITCH?

  • >> YOU KNOW, DEMOCRATS ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT THINGS GETTING

    >> 民主党はいつも「大変なことになった」と話していたが、それを知っているか?

  • BETTER.

    ベター

  • REPUBLICANS DID WHATEVER THEY COULD TO MAKE THEM BETTER.

    REPUBLICANS DID WHATEVER THEY COULD TO MAKE THEM BETTER.

  • THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR, RIGHT?

    THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR, RIGHT?

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: THEY WOULD HAVE PAID

    ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> スティーブン彼らはお金を払っていただろう

  • FOR BETTER WRITING, BUT THEY BLEW THE WHOLE BUDGET ON THAT

    FOR BETTER WRITING, BUT THEY BLEW THE WHOLE BUDGET ON THAT

  • WINDOWS 98 SCREENSAVER OF THE OCEAN BEHIND HIM.

    WINDOWS 98のスクリーンセーバーには、彼の背後にある海が描かれています。

  • NOW, THE ACTUAL TITLE OF THAT MOVIE IS "RUDY: THE RUDY

    NOW, THE ACTUAL TITLE OF THAT MOVIE IS "RUDY: THE RUDY

  • GIULIANI STORY."

    "GIULIANI STORY"

  • SEEMS A LITTLE REDUNDANT, BUT THEN AGAIN, ALL THE BEST MOVIES

    SEEMS A LITTLE REDUNDANT, BUT THEN AGAIN, ALL THE BEST MOVIES

  • DRIVE HOME THEIR SUBJECT MATTER.

    DRIVE HOME THEIR SUBJECT MATTER.

  • THAT'S WHY MY FAVORITE MOVIE IS "STAR WARS: A STAR WARS STORY."

    THAT'S WHY MY FAVORITE MOVIE IS "STAR WARS: A STAR WARS STORY."

  • WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THAT SCENE IS HOW REALISTICALLY IT PORTRAYS

    私がこのシーンで気に入っているのは、それがリアルに描かれていることです。

  • THE ROMANCE OF TALKING ABOUT REPUBLICAN POLICY RIGHT BEFORE

    THE ROMANCE OF TALKING ABOUT REPUBLICAN POLICY RIGHT BEFORE

  • YOU MAKE OUT.

    YOU MAKE OUT.

  • HOLLYWOOD DOES IT ALL THE TIME IN LOVE SCENES:

    HOLLYWOOD DOES IT ALL THE TIME IN LOVE SCENES:

  • >> I'M ALSO JUST A GIRL, STANDING IN FRONT OF A BOY,

    >> 私もただの女の子で、男の子の前に立っているだけです。

  • ASKING HIM TO TAKE AWAY-- >> HER BODILY AUTONOMY.

    ASKING HIM TO TAKE AWAY-- >> HER BODILY AUTONOMY.

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ HOLY INFANT SO

    ♪ ♪ ♪ HOLY INFANT SO

  • >> YOU COMPLETE ME.

    >> YOU COMPLETE ME.

  • I'M NOT JUST-- >> SHUT UP.

    私はただ... >> 黙れ

  • JUST SHUT UP.

    黙れ

  • YOU HAD ME AT-- >> OPPORTUNITY ZONES.

    YOU HAD ME AT-- >> OPPORTUNITY ZONES.

  • >> Stephen: I GOT ALL TEARED UP THERE.

    >> スティーブン涙が出てきたよ

  • SO, WITH THE PRESIDENT DISTANCING HIMSELF

    それで、大統領が自分を離した状態で

  • FROM THE NATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT THAT IS RUDY GIULIANI, HE'S

    国の恥さらしであるルーディ・ジュリアーニから 彼は

  • LOOKING TO ALIGN HIMSELF WITH A MORE REPUTABLE FIGURE: ACTOR AND

    自分をもっと保守的な人物に 合わせたいと思っている。俳優と

  • GUY IN THE MARKET FOR A USED WATERBED, RANDY QUAID.

    中古のウォーターベッドを売りに来た男 ランディ・クエイド

  • QUAID, OF COURSE, IS MOST FAMOUS FOR TRYING TO ERECT A RANDY

    クエイドはもちろん、ランディを立てようとしたことで最も有名です。

  • QUAID MUSEUM, OR CLAIMING HE'S "ON THE RUN" FROM A

    クエイド博物館、または彼は "逃げている "と主張しているから

  • CELEBRITY-KILLING ORGANIZATION CALLED THE "HOLLYWOOD STAR

    CELEBRITY-KILLING ORGANIZATION CALLED THE "HOLLYWOOD STAR

  • WHACKERS," OR SHOWING UP IN COURT WEARING A SHERIFF'S BADGE,

    WHACKERS," OR SHOWING UP IN COURT WEARING A SHERIFF'S BADGE,

  • OR POSTING DISTURBING SEX TAPES IN WHICH HE AND HIS WIFE ARE

    または自分と妻が写っている不愉快なセックス・テープを投稿すること。

  • HAVING INTERCOURSE BELOW A PICTURE OF RUPERT MURDOCH.

    ルパート・マードックの写真の下にインターコースがあります。

  • OBVIOUSLY, RANDY'S A BUSY GUY-- BARELY HAS TIME TO BUY AND SELL

    確かにランディは忙しくて売り買いする時間がほとんどない

  • URINE ON CRAIGSLIST.

    CRAIGSLISTのURINE。

  • AND, TURNS OUT, QUAID HAS BEEN A LONGTIME MAGA MAN, AND THIS

    そして、判明したのは、クエイドは長い間マガマンだった、そして、これは、

  • MORNING, THE PRESIDENT REPAID HIS LOYALTY BY RETWEETING

    朝、大統領はリツイートして忠誠心を取り戻した

  • SEVERAL OF RANDY QUAID'S POLITICAL OPINIONS SUCH AS THIS

    ランディ・クエイドの政治的見解の中には、このようなものもあります。

  • ONE: "WE'VE LOST CONFIDENCE IN THE

    ONE 「信頼を失った」

  • SYSTEM THAT ELECTS OUR LEADERS.

    SYSTEM THAT ELECTS OUR LEADERS.

  • 79 MILLION AMERICANS BELIEVE ELECTION WAS RIGGED, THE RESULTS

    79 MILLION AMERICANS BELIEVE ELECTION WAS RIGGED, THE RESULTS

  • FRAUDULENT.

    詐欺師

  • WE NEED AN IN-PERSON-ONLY PAPER BALLOT RE-VOTE, ESPECIALLY IN

    WE NEED AN IN-PERSON-ONLY PAPER BALLOT RE-VOTE, ESPECIALLY IN

  • THE STATES WHERE FLAGRANT IRREGULARITIES HAVE OCCURRED.

    瑕疵担保責任が発生した州。

  • NO ACCURACY, NO DEMOCRACY!" TO WHICH THE PRESIDENT ADDED

    正確さも民主主義もない!"それに加えて大統領は

  • "ARE YOU LISTENING, REPUBLICANS?"

    "ARE YOU LISTENING, REPUBLICANS?"

  • NO.

    NO.

  • THE ONLY PERSON LISTENING TO RANDY QUAID IS HIS THERAPIST,

    ランディ・クエイドの話を聞いているのは彼の治療家だけです。

  • WHICH, UNFORTUNATELY, IS AN OLD BOOT HE PUT A HAT ON.

    不幸なことに、彼が帽子を被った古いブーツだ。

  • QUAID ALSO GOT A RETWEET TODAY FROM THE PRESIDENT FOR HIS

    クエイドはまた、今日は大統領からのリツイートを得た 彼のために

  • AWARD-WINNING PRO-ADMINISTRATION MONOLOGUE FROM LAST YEAR.

    昨年のプロアドミニストレーション・モノローグで賞を受賞しました。

  • >> IS THIS THE WAY AMERICA GOES?

    >> これがアメリカの行く末なのか?

  • FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON TO GEORGE SOROS?

    FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON TO GEORGE SOROS?

  • WAKE UP, YOU SLEEPING GIANT.

    目を覚ませ、寝ている巨人。

  • THE LILLIPUTIANS THAT TIE YOU DOWN WITH THEIR FANTASTIC DREAMS

    THE LILLIPUTIANS THAT TIE YOU DOWN WITH THEIR FANTASTIC DREAMS

  • OF ICEBERGS MELTING INTO DINOSAURS AND TRAIN TRACKS

    氷山が溶けて恐竜や鉄道の線路になる様子

  • STRETCHING ACROSS THE PACIFIC WATERS.

    太平洋を横断している。

  • TRUMP TRUMPETS REVELING, AND IT'S TIME TO HEED THE CALL.

    トランプ・トラントンは 復活しています 呼びかけに耳を傾ける時が来ました

  • >> Stephen: "THANK YOU, MR. QUAID, BUT THIS IS AN AUDITION

    >> スティーブン「ありがとうございます。クエイド、しかし、これはオーディションです。

  • FOR A PROCESSED BEEF STICK.

    加工された牛肉スティックのために。

  • SO IF YOU COULD JUST SNAP INTO THE SLIM JIM AND NOT MENTION THE

    スリムジムの中に飛び込んできて、そのことに言及しなかったら

  • TRILATERAL COMMISSION."

    "三国間委員会"

  • THAT WOULD BE GREAT."

    "それは素晴らしいことだ"

  • THAT'S THE MORE TONED-DOWN OF THE TWO RANDY QUAID MONOLOGUES

    ランディ・クエイドの二人のモノローグはもっとトーンダウンされています。

  • THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES RETWEETED TODAY.

    アメリカ合衆国大統領が今日リツイートしました。

  • HERE'S THE BANANAS ONE: >> FOX NEWS DAYTIME RATINGS HAVE

    HERE'S THE BANANAS ONE: >> FOX NEWS DAYTIME RATINGS HAVE

  • COMPLETELY COLLAPSED, WEEKEND DAYTIME, EVEN WORSE.

    COMPLETELY COLLAPSED, WEEKEND DAYTIME, EVEN WORSE.

  • VERY SAD TO WATCH THIS HAPPEN.

    こんなことになるのを見るのはとても悲しい

  • THEY FORGOT WHAT MADE THEM SUCCESSFUL, WHAT GOT THEM THERE.

    THEY FORGOT WHAT MADE THEM SUCCESSFUL, WHAT GOT THEM THERE.

  • THEY FORGOT THE GOLDEN GOOSE.

    彼らは金色のグースを忘れた

  • >> Stephen: I BELIEVE HE'S USING WHAT'S KNOWN AS "MOOD

    >> Stephen: I BELIEVE HE'S USING WHAT'S KNOWOWING "MOOD "と呼ばれるものを使っていると思います。

  • LIGHTING."

    LIGHTING."

  • THE MOOD?

    気分は?

  • PEYOTE BENDER.

    PEYOTE BENDER.

  • AS CRAZY AS THAT LAST VIDEO IS, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, QUAID WAS

    その最後のビデオのように狂ったように、それを信じるかどうか、クエイドがあった。

  • JUST GIVING A DRAMATIC READING OF A TWEET FROM THE PRESIDENT.

    大統領からのツイッターを 劇的に読み上げただけです

  • SO, A CRAZY GUY RETWEETED ANOTHER CRAZY GUY PERFORMING THE

    クレイジーな奴が別のクレイジーな奴をリツイートしたんだ

  • FIRST CRAZY GUY'S CRAZY TWEET.

    FIRST CRAZY GUY'S CRAZY TWEET。

  • IT'S A MOBIUS MESS.

    モビウス・メスです。

  • IT'S LIKE WATCHING TWO TODDLERS TRY TO CHANGE EACH

    IT'S LIKE WATCHING TWO TODDLERS TRY TO CHANGE EACH

  • OTHER'S DIAPERS, BUT SOMEHOW, IT'S EVEN MORE FULL OF CRAP.

    他の人のダイアパーズだけど、なぜかもっとくだらないもので溢れている。

  • WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

    WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

  • MY GUEST, IN CASE I HAVEN'T MENTIONED IT, IS PRESIDENT

    私のゲストは、私がそれを言及していない場合に備えて、大統領です。

  • BARACK OBAMA.

    バラク・オバマ

  • STICK AROUND.

    回り込んで

>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

>> スティーブンヘイ、みんな!