WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

レイトショーへようこそ

LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE.

"MR.によろしくＪＯＮ ＢＡＴＩＳＴＥ

HELLO, JON!

ハロー、ジョン！

>> Jon: HELLO, HELLO!

>> ジョン: HELLO, HELLO!

YES, YES, INDEED.

YES、YES、INDEED。

>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE PLANS FOR THE HOLIDAYS?

>> Stephen: DO YOU HOLIDAYS FOR THE HOLIDAYSの計画はありますか？

ARE YOU GOING BACK TO KENNER?

ARE YOU GOING BACK TO KENNER?

>> Jon: NO, I'M GOING TO BE IN THE NORTH.

>> ジョンいや、俺は北に行くんだ。

I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET BACK HOME, BUT I'M GOING TO TRY TO

家に帰るのは無理だけど 戻ろうとするわ

GET DOWN THERE FOR CHRISTMAS ♪ I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS ♪

クリスマスのためにそこに行きましょう 私はクリスマスのために家にいます

>> Stephen: I KNOW YOUR MOM WOULD MISS YOU IF YOU WEREN'T

>> スティーブン：あなたがいなくなったら、あなたのお母さんが寂しがると思うわ。

THERE.

そこだ

YOUR DAD WOULD, TOO, BUT YOU GOTTA BE THERE FOR MOM.

君のお父さんもそうするだろうけど、君はお母さんのそばにいないといけない。

>> Jon: MOM, YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S THE ONE.

>> ジョンママ、イェーイ、イェーイ、ザット・ザ・ワンだよ。

>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU CAN PLAY, A LITTLE

>> スティーブン：何か弾けるものはありますか？

HOLIDAY MUSIC TO GET US GOING?

ホリデー・ミュージックで気分を盛り上げる？

IT'S ALREADY IN ALL THE DEPARTMENT STORES.

全てのデパートにあります

>> Jon: OH, YEAH, YEAH ( "O CHRISTMAS TREE )

>>ジョン。OH, YEAH, YEAH ( "O CHRISTMAS TREE )

>> Stephen: I CAN HEAR THE NEEDLES FALLING OFF THAT TREE.

>> スティーブン：木から落ちる針の音が聞こえる。

BA-DA-BA-DO!

バ、ダ、バ、ド！

E STJON BATISTE EVERYBODY.

E STJON BATISTE EVERYBODY.

YOU KNOW, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME CARBO-LOADING THE DAY'S BIGGEST

ご存知のように、私は多くの時間を費やしています 炭水化物を補給することに。

STORIES, GROIN-STRETCHING WITH THE MOST VITAL HEADLINES, AND

ストーリー、肝心のヘッドラインを使った腹筋ストレッチ、そして

CAREFULLY APPLYING THE MOST INFORMATIVE, EDUCATIONAL NIPPLE

最も情報的で、教育的なニップルを注意深く適用すること

TAPE TO POWER MYSELF THROUGH THE NEWS MARATHON THAT IS MY

TAPE TO POWER MYSELF THROUGH THE NEWS MARATHON THAT IS MY

MONOLOGUE.

モノローグ

BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, NOT ALL THE TIMES, JUST SOMETIMES.

BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, NOT ALL THE TIMES, JUST SOMETIMES.

I LIKE TO DOWN A FIFTH OF BOURBON, RUN AROUND THE HOUSE

ブーボンの5分の1を落として 家の中を走り回るのが好きだ

'TIL I'M DIZZY, COMMANDEER ONE OF THE

"めまいがするまで コマンディアの一人

NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS' BIKES, AND RIDE IT INTO THE LAKE FOR THE

近所の子供用自転車に乗って、湖に入ってみませんか？

RECKLESS MISDEMEANOR TRIATHLON OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

RECKLESS MISDEMEANOR TRIATHLON OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

"QUARANTINE-WHILE!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN "STORIES

"クァランタイン・ワイエル！"QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN "STORIES

YOU CAN ASSUME HAPPENED IN TEXAS," "A DOG IN PLANO SHOT A

YOU ASSUME HAPPENED IN TEXAS」、「A DOG IN PLANO SHOT A DOG IN PLANO」、「A DOG IN PLANO SHOT A」、「A DOG IN PLANO SHOT A」。

MAN IN THE LEG."

MAN IN THE LEG.

NOW, HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN A BAD MAN, AND KNOW THE BEST WAY TO

NOW, HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN A BAD MAN, AND KNOW THE BEST WAY TO

STOP HIM WAS A GOOD BOY WITH A GUN!

STOP HIM WAS A GOOD BOY WITH A GUN!

WHO'S A GET BOY?

WHO'S A GET BOY?

WHO'S GOT A GUN?

誰が銃を持ってる？

YOU, DO!

お前がやれ！

APPARENTLY, THE MAN HAD "A PISTOL TUCKED INSIDE HIS

APPARENTLY, THE MAN HAD "A PISTOL TUCKED INSIDE HIS

WAISTBAND, AND WHILE PICKING UP HIS DOG, A PAW GOT LODGED IN

ウエストバンドで、犬を拾っている時に、毛が挟まってしまった。

THE TRIGGER AND FIRED HIS WEAPON, SENDING A BULLET INTO

トリガーと彼の武器を発射し、弾丸を送信します。

AND THROUGH HIS THIGH."

"彼の太ももを突き破って"

SEE, THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOGS AND CATS RIGHT

見てください、それは犬と猫の違いです。

THERE.

そこだ

CATS DON'T MISS.

CATS DON'T MISS.

( LAUGHTER ) QUARANTINE-WHILE, ACCORDING TO A

( LAUGHTER ) QUARANTINE-WHILE, ACCORDING TO A.

NEW SURVEY, "A SURPRISING PERCENTAGE OF YOUNG AMERICANS

NEW SURVEY, "A SURPRISING PERCENTAGE OF YOUNG AMERICANS

SAY THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN A COW IN PERSON."

"牛を実際に見たことがないと言う"

KIDS THESE DAY, I'LL TELL YOU.

今日の子供たちに話すよ

IN MY DAY, YOU USED PAY PHONES, YOU LOOKED THE NUMBER UP IN A

IN MY DAY, YOU USED PAY PHONES, YOU LOOKED THE NUMBER UP IN A

PHONE BOOK, THEN YOU PUT THE PHONE BOOK BACK ON TOP OF THE

PHONE BOOK, THEN YOU PUT THE PHONE BOOK BACK ON TOP OF THE

COW-- 'CAUSE THE CITIES WERE LOUSY WITH 'EM.

街が大騒ぎしてたからな

WE ALL HAD TO PUT OUT COW TRAPS.

WE ALL HAD TO PUT OUT COW TRAPS.

QUARANTINE-WHILE, "AN UNEMPLOYED MAN FOUND A NEW JOB BY POSTING

クオランタイン・ワイド「無職の男がポスティングで新しい仕事を見つけた

HIS RESUME ON A TRUCK," AND "THE MAN WAS OFFERED A NEW POSITION

HIS RESUME ON A TRUCK" AND "THE MAN WAS OFFERED A NEW POSITION

TWO DAYS AFTER HIS C.V. HIT THE ROAD."

TWO DAYS AFTER HIS C.V. HIT THE ROAD."

I'M HAPPY FOR THE GUY, AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEW HISTORY

あの人には嬉しいし、新しい歴史が待ち遠しいです。

CHANNEL SERIES: "ICE ROAD HUMAN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT."

CHANNEL SERIES: "ICE ROAD HUMAN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT."

QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN MAYONNAISE WEDDING NEWS, THE "HELLMAN'S

QUARANTINE-WHILE, MAYONNAISE WEDDING NEWS, THE "HELLMAN'S

COMPANY SURPRISED A COUPLE WHOSE LAST NAMES WERE "HELMS" AND

カンパニーは名字が「ヘルム」となっていたカップルを驚かせました。

"MAYO" ON THEIR WEDDING DAY WITH MAYONNAISE."

"マヨ "と "マヨネーズ "の結婚式の日に

SO BEAUTIFUL.

とても美しい。

RIGHT UP THERE ON THE LIST OF THINGS PEOPLE HOPE FOR ON THEIR

人々が自分の上で希望するもののリストの上のそこにある

WEDDING DAY: GOOD WEATHER, NO TRAFFIC, AND SURPRISE

WEDDING DAY: GOOD WEATHER, NO TRAFFIC, AND SURPRISE

MAYONNAISE.

マヨネーズ

THEY'RE REALLY GRATEFUL, BUT HONESTLY, THEY REGISTERED FOR

彼らは本当に感謝していますが、正直なところ、彼らは登録しました...

MIRACLE WHIP.

ミラクル・ウィップ

QUARANTINE-WHILE, "A MILITARY CARRIER PIGEON MESSAGE HAS

QUARANTINE-WHILE「A MILITARY CARRIER PIGEON MESSAGE HAS

TURNED UP 110 YEARS AFTER IT WAS SENT."

"送信されてから110年後に 判明した"

JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU HOW HARD LIFE WAS BEFORE CELL

JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU HOW HARD LIFE WAS BEFORE CELL

PHONES.

電話です

"WHERE WERE YOU, MAN?

"どこにいた？

I WAS WAITING FOR YOU OUTSIDE THE MOVIE THEATER FOR 110

I WAS WAITING FOR YOU OUTSIDE THE MOVIE THEATER FOR 110

YEARS!" "SORRY, MY PIGEON GETS NO

YEARS!" "SORRY, MY PIGEON GETS NO

SERVICE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD."

SERVICE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD."

IS THAT WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO?

それは私がすべきことなのか？

WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO NOTES TO THE TWO GUYS OR WAS I SUPPOSED

二人の男にメモを取るのが役目だったのか？

TO BE LIKE, "HEY, WHAT WERE YOU DOING?"

TO BE LIKE, "HEY, WHAT WERE YOU DOING?"

WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?

私はそれをすることになっていたのか？

ARE WE STILL...

私たちはまだ...

THE MISSING MESSAGE TURNED UP IN NORTHEASTERN FRANCE AND "WAS

THE MISSING MESSAGE TURNED UP IN NORTHEASTERN FRANCE AND "WAS

SENT FROM ONE GERMAN MILITARY OFFICER TO ANOTHER IN 1910,"

"1910年にドイツ軍将校から別の軍人に送られた"

THOUGH "THE SCRIPT IS DIFFICULT TO DECIPHER."

"聖書を解読するのは難しい "が

EXPERTS WERE JUST ABLE TO MAKE OUT THIS MUCH:

エキスパートはこれだけの量を稼ぐことができました。

( GERMAN ACCENT ) "ZIS LETTER IS CURSED.

( GERMAN ACCENT ) "ZIS LETTER IS CURSED.

IF YOU DON'T FORWARD ZIS TO SEVEN PEOPLE IN 48 HOURS,

48時間以内に70人にZISを転送しないと

DEUTSCHLAND VIL FALL UNDER THE RULE OF A PSYCHO PAINTER FROM

DEUTSCHLAND VILはからの精神画家のルールに陥る

VIENNA.

ビエナ

UND YOU'LL GAIN TEN POUNDS!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, ACCORDING TO A

"１０ポンド増えるぞ！"四分五分法では

NEW STUDY, UNLIKE CATS AND DOGS WHO FORM SPECIAL BONDS WITH

NEW STUDY, UNLIKE CATS AND DOGS WHO FORM SPECIAL BONDS WITH

THEIR OWNERS, "HORSES DON'T LOVE SPECIFIC HUMANS."

"馬は特定の人間を愛していない"

IT'S ALMOST LIKE RIDING ON SOMETHING'S BACK FOR HOURS WHILE

何時間も何かの背中に乗っているようなものだ

WHIPPING IT AND POKING IT IN THE SIDE WITH METAL HEEL-SPIKES

金属製のヒールスパイクを使用して、それを叩いて側面を突く

ISN'T A BONDING EXPERIENCE.

絆の体験ではありません。

ALSO, THERE'S A LOT GOING ON RIGHT NOW.

ALSO, THERE'S A LOT GOING ON RIGHT NOW.

DO WE REALLY NEED TO BE PUTTING EFFORT INTO TESTING WHICH

DO WE REALLY NEED TO BE PUTTING EFFORT INTO TESTING WHICH

ANIMALS DON'T LOVE US?

動物は私たちを愛していない？

( AS SCIENTIST ) "WELP, NO CURE FOR COVID YET,

( 科学者として) "WELP, NO CURE FOR COVID YET.

BUT WE HAVE DISCOVERED THAT BUNNIES THINK YOU'RE KIND OF A

でも、私たちはそれを発見しました バンズはあなたがその種の人だと思っていることを

BITCH."

"ビッチ"

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH HUGH GRANT.

ハグ・グラントと一緒に戻ってきます

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