♪ >> Stephen: HELLO, EVERYBODY.

♪ >> スティーブンこんにちは、皆さん。

WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

レイトショーへようこそ

FOLKS, YOU KNOW MY NEXT GUEST FROM "SILICON VALLEY" AROUND HIS

FOLKS, YOU KNOW MY NEXT GUEST FROM "SILICON VALLEY" AROUND HIS

COMEDY SPECIAL "MIDDLEDITCH AND

COMEDY SPECIAL "MIDDLEDITCH AND

SCHWARTZ."

シュヴァルツ"

HIS NEW SHOW "B POSITIVE" IS ON CBS.

彼の新番組「B POSITIVE」がCBSで放送されています。

PLEASE WELCOME, THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH!

PLEASE WELCOME, THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH!

HELLO, THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH, HOW ARE YOU?

HELLO, THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH, HOW ARE YOU?

>> JUST DANDY.

>> JUST DANDYです。

I HAVE A FULL THREE DIMENSIONAL AUDIO SET UP.

I HAVE A FULL THREE DIMENSIONAL AUDIO SET UP.

>> Stephen: WITH YOU WEARING THE HEAD SET, I FEEL I'M A

>> スティーブン：あなたがヘッドセットを装着していると、私は自分自身を感じます。

NONCHARACTER PLAYER IN A VIDEO GAME.

NONCHARACTER PLAYER IN A VIDEO GAME.

>> WHAT ABOUT WHAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU IS OFFBRAND?

>> WHAT ABOUT WHAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU IS OFFBRAND?

>> Stephen: AND A SPIRAL STAIRCASE, THE LEAST EFFICIENT

>> スティーブン：そしてスパイラル階段、最も効率的な

FORM OF STAIRS CASE POSSIBLE.

可能性のあるステアーズケースの形態。

>> WELL NOT IF YOU WANT TO CONSERVE HORIZONTAL SPACE.

>> WELL NOT IF YOU WANT TO CONSERVE HORIZONTAL SPACE.

>> Stephen: THAT'S ALL WE HAVE TIME FOR.

>> スティーブン時間があるのはそれだけだ

>> OKAY.

>>OKAY。

>> Stephen: SO GOOD TO SEE YOU, THOMAS.

>> 会えて良かったよ、スティーブン。

AS ALWAYS.

いつものように

NOW, YOU SUPPORTED BIDEN, RIGHT?

NOW, YOU SUPPORTED BIDEN, RIGHT?

>> ALLEGEDLY, YEAH.

>> ALLEGEDLY, YEAH.

>> Stephen: BUT YOU'RE A CANADIAN SO YOU CAN'T VOTE.

>> スティーブン：しかし、あなたはカナダ人なので、あなたは投票することはできません。

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: SO THAT MUST HAVE BEEN TOUGH.

>> スティーブン：それは大変だったに違いない。

HOW DID YOU HEAR THE GOOD NEWS?

HOW DID YOU HEAR THE GOOD NEWS?

>> I WAS ASLEEP AND WOKE UP TO THE BANGING OF POTS AND HOOTING

>> 眠っていて目が覚めたら、鍋の音とフーチングが聞こえてきました。

AND HOLLERING IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, YEAH.

そして、私の近所にいること。

>> Stephen: THAT HAPPENS TO A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN

>> スティーブン：それは、多くの人が住んでいる人に起こります。

CITIES.

シティーズ

>> LIBERAL STATES.

>> リベラルステート。

>> Stephen: RRRRRR!

>> スティーブンＲＲＲＲＲＲＲＲ！

WHO'S GOING TO PAY FOR THOSE POTS AND PANS?

誰がその鍋とパンの代金を払うんだ？

MAKING ALL THAT RACQUET!

MAKING ALL THAT RACQUET!

>> YOU AND THOSE SKATEBOARDERS!

>> あなたとあのスケートボーダーたち！

>> Stephen: DID YOU GRAB YOUR OWN POT AND PAN AND BANG ON

>> スティーブン：自分の鍋をつかんで、鍋とパンと叩いたのか？

THINGS?

THINGS?

>> I DID A COUPLE OF HOOTS.

>> 私は2組のフートをしました。

I DID A COUPLE OF WHOO!

私はクープル・オブ・フーをしました！

BUT I WAS JOINING IN ON THAT TYPE OF REVEL RI.

でも、私はそのタイプのレヴェルRIに参加していました。

>> Stephen: IS THAT YOU OR JUST CANADIAN.

>> スティーブン：それはあなたですか、それともただのカナダ人。

>> PROBABLY A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH.

>> 多分、両方のほんの少し。

I WASN'T DRUNK ENOUGH AT 9:00 A.M. TO HOOT AND HOLLER.

午前9時には酔いも覚めていなかったので、 飲酒運転をしていました。

>> Stephen: WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING A CANADIAN LIVING THROUGH

>> スティーブン: カナダで生活しているとどんな感じですか？

AN AMERICAN ELECTION?

AN AMERICAN ELECTION?

BECAUSE THERE ARE NO ELECTIONS LIKE THIS ONE.

BECAUSE THERE ARE NO ELECTIONS LIKE THIS ONE.

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH.

IT'S WEIRD TO WANT A CERTAIN OUTCOME SO BAD AND BE POWERLESS

特定の結果を望んで無力になるのはおかしい

AND BEING OTHER, LIKE, HEY, I HOPE YOU GUYS PULL IT TOGETHER

そして他の人と同じように、HEY, I HOPE YOU GUYS PULL IT TOGETHERみたいな。

AND VOTE.

と投票してください。

MEANWHILE, I HAVE MY TEST HERE WITING IN LINE.

MEANWHILE, IAVE MY TEST HERE WITING IN LINE.

>> Stephen: ARE YOU APPLYING FOR CITIZENSHIP?

>> スティーブン：市民権を申請しますか？

>> I HAVE BEEN IN MY WAITING TO TAKE THE TEST FOR LIKE A YEAR.

>> I HAVE BEEN IN MY WAITING TO TAKE THE TEST FOR LIKE A YEAR.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

>> スティーブンいいわよ

BECAUSE I WAS WONDERING WHAT THESE -- I'VE GOT THESE

私はこれが何なのか疑問に思っていたから...私はこれを持っています。

QUESTIONS FROM THE CITIZENSHIP TEST, AND I THOUGHT MAYBE I

QUESTIONS FROM THE CITIZENSHIP TEST, AND I THOUGHT MAYBE I

COULD PEPPER THIS INTERVIEW WITH SOME OF THE QUESTIONS.

COULD PEPPER THIS INTERVIEW WITH SOME OF THE QUESTIONS.

>> BUT I HAVEN'T -- I NEED YOU TO KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN STUDYING

>> BUT I HAVEN'T -- I NEED YOU TO KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN STUDYING

FOR A YEAR.

FOR A YEAR.

>> Stephen: IT DOESN'T MATTER.

>> スティーブンどうでもいい

MAYBE YOU'RE A NATURAL.

あなたは自然人かもしれません。

MAYBE YOU'RE A NATURAL.

あなたは自然人かもしれません。

>> OKAY.

>>OKAY。

OKAY.

分かった

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: AND YOU ARE --

( LAUGHTER ) >> スティーブン。君は...

OKAY, RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND AND SAY, I, STATE YOUR NAME.

右手を上げて名前を言え

>> I THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH.

>> I THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH.

WOULD HIKE TO RIDE AN EAGLE.

鷹に乗るのが好きなんだ

>> I WOULD LIKE TO RIDE AN EAGLE.

>> 鷹に乗りたい。

>> Stephen: AND KISS THE STATUE OF LIBERTY.

>> スティーブン：そして、リバティの文字にキスをしてください。

>> AND KISS THAT SWEET ST STATUE LIBERTY.

>> そして、その甘い国のリバティにキスしてください。

>> Stephen: NEXT QUESTION.

>> スティーブン次の質問です。

WITH VERBAL CONSENT.

WITH VERBAL CONSENT.

>> Stephen: WITH 100 PERCENT CONSENT.

>> スティーブン１００％の同意を得て

SHE HAS THE TORCH.

彼女はトーチを持っている

YOU DON'T MESS WITH HER.

彼女に手を出すな

WHAT IS THE SUPREME LAW OF THE LAND IN THE UNITED STATES?

米国における土地の最高法規とは何か？

THIS IS AN ACTUAL QUESTION.

THIS IS AN ACTUAL QUESTION.

>> THE CONSTITUTION.

>> THE CONSTITUTION.

>> Stephen: DING, DING, DING, DING, DING!

>> スティーブン：ディン、ディン、ディン、ディン、ディン、ディン！

OKAY.

分かった

WELL, WELCOME TO CBS, WELCOME TO THE EYE.

WELL, WELCOME TO CBS, WELCOME TO THE EYE.

WELCOME TO THE TIFFANY.

WELCOME TO THE TIFFANY.

>> YES.

>> ＹＥＳ！＞＞＞＞＞＞＞＞ＹＥＳ

>> Stephen: THE SHOW IS "B POSITIVE" ABOUT A MAN WHO

>> スティーブン：ショーは「Bポジティブ」な男について

NEEDS A KIDNEY DONOR.

NEEDS A KIDNEY DONOR.

WOULD YOU GIVE SOMEBODY YOUR KIDNEY?

WOULD YOU GIVE SOMEBODY YOUR KIDNEY?

>> IT DEPENDS ENTIRELY WHO BUT IN THEORY, YES.

>> それは完全に誰に依存しているが、理論上はそうだ。

>> Stephen: YOU'RE THEORETICALLY GIVING AND

>> スティーブン：あなたは理論的に与えています。

ALTRUISTIC, BUT I HAVE TO LIKE THE GUY.

ALTRUISTIC, BUT I HAVE TO LIKE THE GUY.

>> OR GIRL.

>> ω・)ﾉ ｵｰﾙガールです。

I DO HAVE IT ON MY DRIVER'S LICENSE THAT YOU CAN JUST

I DO HAVE IT ON MY DRIVER'S LICENSE THAT YOU CAN JUST

HARVEST ALL THE ORGANS.

HARVEST ALL THE ORGANS.

GET THEM OUT OF ME.

私の外に出して

>> Stephen: BUT WE HAVE TO WAIT TILL YOU'RE DEAD FOR THAT.

>> そのためには、あなたが死ぬまで待たなければなりません。

>> SURE, BUT THERE ARE WAYS OF MAKING THAT HAPPEN.

>> SURE, BUT THERE ARE WAYS OF MAKING THAT HAPPEN.

WHY AM I PLOTTING MY OWN MURDER.

なぜ私は自分の殺人を計画しているのか。

>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW, BUT I LIKE IT.

>> Stephen: I DON'DON'T KNOW, BUT I LIKE IT.

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: WHAT STOPS ONE BRANCH OF GOVERNMENT FROM

>> スティーブン：政府の一つのブランチが何を止めるのか？

BECOMING TOO POWERFUL?

強くなりすぎているのか？

>> CHECKS AND BALANCES.

>> CHECKS AND BALANCES.

>> Stephen: BANG, BABY!

>> スティーブンバン、ベイビー！

YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY.

YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY.

IS THAT REAL?

それは現実なのか？

>> Stephen: YES, CHECKS AND BALANCES, THAT'S THE REAL

>> スティーブン：はい、チェックとバランス、それは本当です。

ANSWER.

ANSWER.

>> I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS AN OFFICIAL TERM.

>> I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS AN OFFICIAL TERM.

I JUST HEAR THAT ON THE NEWS.

ニュースで聞いたわ

>> Stephen: NAME ONE THING BENJAMIN FRANKLIN WAS FAMOUS

>> スティーブンベンジャミン・フランクリンが有名だったことを一つ挙げてください。

FOR.

FOR.

PUT TEN SECONDS ON THE CLOCK, PLEASE.

10秒だけ待ってくれ

>> BEN FRANK RINE WAS FAMOUS FOR JUMPING THAT DIRT BIKE OVER ALL

>> BEN FRANK RINE WAS FAMOUS FOR JUMPING THAT DIRT BIKE OVER ALL

THOSE CARS AND -- >> Stephen: EXACTLY.

その車と... >> スティーブンまさにその通り

WIPED OUT, WITH ♪ ♪ I'M PROUD TO BE AMERICAN ♪

WIPED OUT, WITH ♪ I'M PROUD TO BE AMERICAN ♪

IN THE BACKGROUND.

背景には

>> Stephen: HE WIPED OUT AND INVENTED THE HIP PIN AS A

>> スティーブン彼は全滅してヒップピンを発明した

RESULT.

結果。

FIRST POST MASTER GENERAL WHO STARTED THE FIRST FREE

FIRST POST MASTER GENERAL WHO STARTED THE FIRST FREE

LIBRARIES.

LIBRARIES.

I HOPE YOU WILL PLAY AGAIN.

I HOPE YOU WILL PLAY AGAIN.

BUT WE'RE GOING TO SEND YOU HOME ARE OUR CONSOLATION PRIZE,

BUT WE'RE GOING TO SEND YOU HOME ARE OUR CONSOLATION PRIZE,

YOU'RE A FAMOUS TV STAR.

あなたは有名なテレビスターですよね。

>> PLEASE, STEPHEN, CAN I STAY?

>> お願いだから泊まってもいい？

>> Stephen: YOU CAN STAY, YOU JUST CAN'T VOTE YET.

>> スティーブン：あなたは滞在することができますが、あなたはまだ投票することはできません。

HIS NEW SHOW "B POSITIVE" AIRS THURSDAYS AT 8:30 ON CBS.

HIS NEW SHOW "B POSITIVE" AIRS木曜8:30 ON CBS.

THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

THANK YOU, THOMAS.

THANK YOU, THOMAS.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪