♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: JON BATISTE,

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> スティーブンＪＯＮ ＢＡＴＩＳＴＥ

EVERYBODY.

すべての人に。

SAY HI TO JON.

ジョンによろしく

YOU SOUNDED GOOD.

いい声だったよ

♪ ♪ ♪ GOOD TO SEE YOU.

♪ 会えて良かったよ

>> Jon: YES, INDEED.

>> ジョンはい、そうです。

>> Stephen: WE TALKED ABOUT VOTING LAST NIGHT.

>> スティーブン昨夜は投票について話したわ

WE TALKED ABOUT VOTING LAST NIGHT.

WE TALKED ABOUT VOTING LAST NIGHT.

>> Jon: YES.

>> ジョン。はい。

>> Stephen: BUT NEVER A BAD TIME TALKING ABOUT VOTING.

>> スティーブンしかし、投票について話すのは決して悪い時間ではありません。

HAVE YOU DECIDED WHEN AND WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO VOTE?

HAVE YOU DECIDED WHEN AND WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO VOTE?

>> Jon: I'M VOTING THIS SATURDAY.

>> ジョン私は今週の土曜日に投票します。

I'M GETTING OUT THERE, MAN, EARLY IN NEW YORK CITY.

ニューヨーク市の早朝に出てきたんだ

AND I LOVE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH "BETTER KNOW A BALLOT."

AND I LOVE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH "BETTER KNOW A BALLOT."

WE HAVE TO GET THAT OUT THERE, MAN.

WE HAVE TO GET THAT OUT THERE, MAN.

>> Stephen: LAST NIGHT WE WERE TALKING.

>> スティーブン昨日の夜、私たちは話していました。

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU CAN TRACK A BALLOT.

あなたが投票を追跡できるとは知らなかった

I FOUND OUT FROM THE CRACK TEAM AT "BETTER KNOW A BALLOT."

I FOUND OUT FROM THE CRACK TEAM AT "BETTER KNOW A BALLOT."

YOU CAN GO TO "BETTER KNOW A BALLOT" AND YOU CAN FIND OUT IF

YOU CAN GO TO "BETTER KNOW A BALLOT" AND YOU CAN FIND OUT IF

AND WHEN EARLY VOTING STARTS IN YOUR STATE, FIND OUT WHERE YOU

AND WHEN EARLY VOTING STARTS IN YOUR STATE, FIND OUT WHERE YOU

CAN VOTE IN YOUR TOWN OR YOUR COUNTY.

CAN VOTE IN YOUR TOWN OR YOUR COUNTY.

YOU CAN FIND OFFICIAL DROP BOXES NEAR YOU.

YOU CAN FIND OFFICIAL DROP BOXES NEAR YOU.

YOU CAN TRACK YOUR BALLOT.

YOU CAN TRACK YOUR BALLOT.

ALL THAT AT "BETTERKNOWA BALLOT.COM AND YOU CAN FIND OUT

すべてのことは「BETTERKNOWA BALLOT.COMとあなたが見つけることができます。

WHERE TO VOTE ON ELECTION DAY IF YOU DON'T WANT TO VOTE EARLY OR

あなたが早くまたは投票したくない場合は、選挙の日に投票する場所

BY MAIL.

郵便で。

WHICH I GET.

私が手に入れたもの。

THERE'S SOMETHING EXCITING ABOUT GOING ON THE DAY OF.

当日に行くことには何かワクワクするものがあります。

>> Jon: GOING ON THE DATE OF IS SUCH A RITUAL, WE GO THERE

>> ジョン日付を決めてから行くのが 習慣になっていて

AND STAND AND STAY AND PACK LUNCHES AND WE BRING OUR

立って、立って、泊まって、弁当を作って、私たちは私たちのものを持ってきます。

HEADPHONES AND WE JUST STAY.

ヘッドフォンと私たちはただ留まっている。

WE DO IT.

WE DO IT.

>> Stephen: THE VOTING HAS JUST BLOWN THE DOORS OFF ALL THE

>> スティーブン：投票は、すべてのドアを吹き飛ばしました。

RECORDS RIGHT NOW.

RECORDS RIGHT NOW.

>> Jon: MAN, YEAH.

>> ジョン：MAN, YEAH.

I SEEN THOSE EARLY NUMBERS.

初期の数字を見たんだ

AND THE BLUE IS ROLLING IN.

そして、青が流れ込んでくる。

COME ON NOW, COME ON.

今すぐ来い

>> Stephen: EVERYBODY COME ON.

>> スティーブンみんな来てくれ

YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO BE PART OF IT.

君もその一部になりたいはずだ

YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO TELL YOUR GRANDCHILDREN YOU DID THE RIGHT

YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO TELL YOUR GRANDCHILDREN YOU DID THE RIGHT

THING.

THING.

>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT.

>> ジョンそうだよ。

HISTORY HAS ITS EYE ON YOU.

HISTORY HAS ITS EYE ON YOU.

>> Stephen: JON, DID YOU-- HOW ABOUT-- DOES HISTORY HAVE ITS

>> スティーブンジョン、あなたは...どうなの...歴史にはそれがあるの？

FINGERS ON THE PIANO KEYBOARD RIGHT NOW?

FINGERS ON THE PIANO KEYBOARD RIGHT NOW?

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

>> Jon: OH, YEAH, A WHOLE LOT OF HISTORY, AND FUTURES WITH IT,

>> ジョン歴史と未来がいっぱいあるんだよ

TOO.

TOO.

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: JON BATISTE,

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> スティーブンＪＯＮ ＢＡＴＩＳＴＥ

EVERYBODY.

すべての人に。

THANK YOU, JON.

THANK YOU, JON.

>> Jon: AAAHHH!

>> ジョンうわああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ

>> Stephen: FOLKS, EVERY NIGHT I TAKE THE HIGHEST QUALITY BOLT OF

>> スティーブン皆さん、毎晩、私は最高品質のボルトを取ります。

STORY CLOTH OF THE DAY, THE SILKIEST NEWS THREADS, AND

今日の物語の服、最もシルキーなニューススレッド、そして

METICULOUSLY HAND-STITCH THEM INTO THE FINE ITALIAN DESIGNER

METICULOUSLY HAND-STITCH THEM INTO THE FINE ITALIAN DESIGNER

JACKET THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

JACKET THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

BUT NOW AND THEN, I LIKE TO GATHER UP THE DISCARDED NEWS

でも、時々、捨てられたニュースを集めるのが好きなんだ

RAGS OFF THE FLOOR OF MY COMEDY CABIN, YANK SOME RATTY TWINE OUT

RAGS OFF THE FLOOR OF MY COMEDY CABIN, YANK SOME RATTY TWINE OUT

OF AN OLD FEED BAG, AND LOVINGLY SEW THEM TOGETHER INTO THE

OF AN OLD FEED BAG, AND LOVINGLY SEW THEM TOGETHER INTO THE

THAT IS MY SEGMENT: "QUARANTINE-WHILE!"

それが私の部門です "クァランタイン・ウエイレ！"

QUARANTINE-WHILE, I'M A HUGE PROPONENT OF FACE MASKS.

私はフェイスマスクの 大ファンです

THEY'RE SIMPLE, THEY'RE PRACTICAL, AND THEY SAVE LIVES.

シンプルで実用的で、人を救う。

BUT, DAMMIT, WHY CAN'T THEY BE DELICIOUS?

でも、くそ、どうして美味しくできないの？

WELL, NOW THEY ARE, BECAUSE "HORMEL FOODS HAS ANNOUNCED A

さて、今、彼らは、なぜならば、"HORMEL FOODSが発表したからです。

BACON-SCENTED FACE MASK THEY CALL 'BREATHABLE BACON.'"

BACON-SCENTED FACE MASK THEY CALL 'BREATHABLE BACON.'"

OKAY, SOUNDS NICE, NOT A BREAKTHROUGH.

分かった、いい音だけど、突破口じゃないわ。

AMERICANS ALWAYS INHALE BACON.

AMERICANS ALWAYS INHALE BACON.

I HAVE HUFFED A PORK BELLY.

I HAVE HUFFED A PORK BELLY.

THE NUMBER-THREE CAUSE OF DEATH IN AMERICA IS HAM LUNG.

アメリカの死因の第3の原因はハム肺です。

QUARANTINE-WHILE, AS PART OF THE EFFORT TO BUILD A LUNAR BASE BY

クオランタイン・ワイア、月面基地建設に向けた取り組みの一環として

2028, "NASA AND NOKIA ARE PUTTING A 4G NETWORK ON THE

2028年、「NASAとNOKIAが4Gネットワークを搭載する

MOON."

MOON."

I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

それが良いアイデアかどうかは分からない。

YOU KNOW, THE NEXT TIME SOME DUDE LANDS UP THERE, IT'LL SOUND

次に誰かがそこに現れた時に 聞こえるだろう

LIKE THIS: >> THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR

こんな感じで>> これは、小さな一歩です。

MAN...

MAN...

ONE GIANT PENIS PIC FOR MANKIND!

マンカインドのための巨大なペニスの1枚!

YOU'RE WELCOME, LADIES!

ようこそ、お嬢さん方！

>> Stephen: ACCORDING TO NASA, THE WIRELESS NETWORK WILL BE

>> スティーブン：NASAによると、ワイヤレスネットワークは、次のようになります。

USED FOR "STREAMING HIGH-DEFINITION VIDEO."

"ハイビジョン動画のストリーミング "に使用されます。

JUST WHAT YOU WANT ASTRONAUTS FOCUSED ON DURING A

JUST WHAT YOU WANT ASTRONAUTS FOCUSED ON DURING A

HIGH-PRESSURE SPACE MISSION: NETFLIX.

HIGH-PRESSURE SPACE MISSION: NETFLIX.

"UH, HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

"ヒューストン、問題がある。

EMILY IS IN PARIS, BUT SHE DOESN'T SPEAK FRENCH.

エミリィはパリにいるが フランス語は話せない

HOW WILL SHE HELP SAVOIR'S SOCIAL MEDIA STRATEGY?

彼女はどのようにサヴォアのソーシャルメディア戦略を助けるのか？

PLEASE ADVISE."

お願いします。"

NASA IS DOING THIS AS PART OF ITS "ARTEMIS" PROGRAM, WHICH

NASAはこれを「アルテミス」計画の一環として行っています。

AIMS TO "SUSTAIN A HUMAN PRESENCE ON THE MOON."

目的は "月面上の人間の存在を維持すること"

AND YOU STARTED WITH CELL SERVICE?

AND YOU STARTED WITH CELL SERVICE?

"LOOK, WE'RE GOING TO GET TO OXYGEN AND POTABLE WATER IN A

"見て、私たちは酸化ジェンと飲料水を手に入れようとしています

MINUTE, BUT I'M NOT GOING UP THERE UNLESS I CAN POST MY TANG

ちょっと待って、でもタングを投稿しないと 上には行かないわよ

ON THE GRAMS!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, THIS TIKTOK

"オン・ザ・グラムス！"クァランタイン・ウェイレ、このティクトク

VIDEO IS GOING VIRAL THIS WEEK OF A WOMAN RUNNING A SUB-SIX-

今週、女性がサブシックスを走っている動画が流行っています。

MINUTE MILE WHILE NINE MONTHS PREGNANT!

妊娠9ヶ月の時のミニッツマイル!

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

神の母よ！

I THINK MAYBE LITERALLY.

I THINK MAYBE LITERALLY.

THE CLOSEST I'VE GOTTEN TO A SUB-SIX-MINUTE IS AFTER EATING A

私が6分以内に到達したのは 食べた後だった

SUB IN SIX MINUTES.

6分でサブ。

AFTER WHICH I LOOKED PREGNANT.

AFTER WHICH I LOOKED PREGNANT.

QUARANTINE-WHILE, AN AIRPLANE PASSENGER IN INDIA WAS "CAUGHT

クオランタイン-一方、インドの飛行機の乗客は「逮捕されました

SMUGGLING GOLD NUGGETS IN HIS RECTUM TO AVOID TAXES."

"税金を避けるために 金塊を密輸していた"

SMART.

SMART.

PLUS, NOW HE CAN WRITE OFF HIS RECTUM AS A HOME OFFICE.

さらに、今、彼は自宅のオフィスとして彼の胸郭を書くことができます。

THE TROUBLE STARTED WHEN AIRLINE AUTHORITIES "SPOTTED A MAN

問題の発端は、航空会社が「男を発見した」ことにあった。

WALKING ODDLY, AND DISCOVERED HE HAD ABOUT TWO POUNDS IN BULLION

不安定な歩き方をしていて 気がついたら２ポンド（約２０００万円）を持っていた。

SHOVED INTO HIS RECTUM."

"彼の胸部に突き刺された"

OH, THERE'S GOLD IN THEM THAR HILLS.

この丘の中には金がある

NOW, I'M SURE YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT THAT GOLD LOOKED LIKE, AND

NOW, I'M SURE YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT THAT GOLD LOOKED LIKE, AND

I'M SURE IT'S PRETTY SMALL STUFF, MAYBE SOME LITTLE COINS

I'M SURE IT'S PRETTY SMALL STUFF, MAYBE SOME LITTLE COINS

OR LITTLE BALLS OR-- OH, MY GOD!

OR LITTLE BALLS OR-- OH, MY GOD!

EVEN MORE AMAZING: HE RAN A SUB-SIX-MINUTE MILE WITH THAT UP

EVEN MORE AMAZING: HE RAN A SUB-SIX-MINUTE MILE WITH THAT UP

THERE.

そこだ

A 24-YEAR-OLD NURSERY FOR BABY SHARKS WAS FOUND IN SOUTH

A 24-YEAR-OLD NURSERY FOR BABY SHARKS WAS FOUND IN SOUTH

CAROLINA.

カロリーナ

I BELIEVE WE HAVE FOOT ANNUAL OF THE PALEONTOLOGISTS ANNOUNCING

私たちは、古生物学者の足の年鑑を持っていると信じています。

THEIR DISCOVERY OF THE SHARK NURSERY

シャークナースリーの発見

♪ BABY SHARK DO, DO, DO, DO ♪

♪ BABY SHARK DO,DO,DO,DO ♪

IN CANADA, THEICA YAND TOWN OF ASBESTOS HAS CHOSEN A NEW NAME.

カナダでは、ＡＳＢＥＳＴＯＳのＴＨＥＩＣＡＹＡＮＤ ＴＯＷＮは、新しい名前を選択しました。

IT WAS ORIGINALLY NAMED AFTER THE LOCAL MINE 100 YEARS AGO

IT WAS ORIGINALLY NAMED AFTER THE LOCAL MINE 100 YEARS AGO

WHEN ASBESTOS WAS A CUTTING-EDGE MATERIAL TO BE PROUD OF.

アスベストが最先端の素材であることを誇りに思っていた頃。

SO NOW THEY'VE RENAMED IT TO SOMETHING THEY WILL NEVER

だから彼らはそれを二度としないものに改名した

REGRET: "BITCOIN, QUEBEC."

REGRET: "BITCOIN, QUEBEC."

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DOLLY PARTON.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DOLLY PARTON.