Come on!

なんだよ！

Aaaagh!

あぁ！

I'm just a janitor.

私はただの番人です

You look like a smart boy. How'd you like a job?

賢い男のようだな　仕事を与えてやろうか？

Um... sure.

ああ...はい...

Excellent! Then you could start by grabbing that sword.

よろしい！あの剣を持ち出すのだ！

Right away!

直ちに！

It's kind of the key to this whole thing, so I wouldn't want to leave it behind to get stolen.

全宇宙に繋がる鍵なのだから、盗まれまいように持っていきましょう

Awe poop!

クソが！

Go! Now!

行け！今だ！

Don't worry everyone!

心配無用だよ、みんな！

This is just a minor set back.

少しだけ突き刺さっただけさ

All we need to do is extricate ourselves free from this ginormous spear here.

このデカい槍を取り除けば、すぐに脱出できるよ

And then we can get back to escaping.

アスガルドのために！

For Asgard!

おっと、もうダメみたいだ...

Oh no. The ship has perished.

みんなここで死ぬみたいだね

It looks like we're all gonna die here.

残念　革命は終わりだね

Sorry everyone. The revolution has ended.

ああ！ヘラ！

Aaagh! Hela!

ちくしょう！

Come on!

フハハハハハハ！

Mwahahahahaha!

終りだ、弟よ！

It's over, brother!

お前の雷とレッドツェッペリンはでは無理だ！

Your lightening and Led Zeppelin have failed!

うーん？

Hmm?

お前に私は倒せまい！

You can't defeat me!

そうだな...

No I can't.

だが、奴ならできる！

But he can!

あぁ...つまりだな...

Uh... I said...

奴ならできる！

But he can!

えっと ... ソー？

Um... Thor?

悪いね兄上！

I'm sorry brother!

俺を信用できないのは知ってたよね！

But you know I can't be trusted!

この...

Son of a...

氷の巨人さ！

Ice Giant!

アハハハハハハ！

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

それで、全員残して、逃げて来たんだよ

So I left them all, and got the heck out of there!

ハハハハハ！

Hahahahaha!

それで、そのあとは？

And then what happened?

私が皆殺しにしたのさ！

And then I defeated all of them!

アハハハハハハ

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

さらに四次元キューブも手に入れたんだ！

And I took the tesseract!

おぉ！ アハハハハハハ！

OH SNAP! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

ついに！

Finally!

もらっていくぞ...ご苦労だった

I'll take that thanks!

さあ...

Now...

パーティを始めようか

Let's get this party started.

よう、お姉ちゃん

Hey! How you doin?

最悪！

Someone's lookin... Hela fine!

お前に私は倒せまい！

Ugh!

そうだな...

You can't defeat me!

でも、彼女なら！

No I can't.

わぁ　ばかみたいに強いな...

But she can!

そうね

Wow. Those things are ridiculously powerful.

ありえない...

Mmm hmm.

じゃあ、これもありえないかしら？

It's not possible!

あぁ！

Darling, you have no idea what's possible.

俺のハンマーが！

Gasp!

ノー！

My hammer!

俺の大事なハンマーちゃんが...

Nooooo!

君たちはすぐアスガルドに帰るはずだったんだけど...また別次元から何かが来るのを感知したんだ

That hammer was just like a hammer to me!

彼女は誰？

Okay you guys were supposed to leave promptly but instead I'm detecting even more interdimensional activity...

ひざまずけ！

Who is she?

悪魔みたいな俺たちの姉だ！俺のハンマーを壊しやがった！

Kneel!

アスガルドを滅ぼして、皆殺しにする気だ！

This is our evil sister! She broke my hammer!

そうか...それはちょっと困るんだが...

She's going to destroy Asgard and who knows what else!

ひざまずけと言った...

Okay well we can't have that can we?

かなり長時間落ち続けるだろうな...

I said kneel before your que...

さて、地球から出て行ってくれ

She's going to be falling for a really... REALLY long time.

でも俺のハンマーが！

Okay NOW you guys need to leave.

あとカフェも...

But my hammer!

*ため息*

And the cafe.

はいはい　わかったよ...

*sigh*

それでドクターが俺のハンマーを直してくれたんだ...

Okay. Fine.

姉は永遠の深淵を落ち続けているよ...

So the Doctor fixed my hammer...

それでアスガルドの王になろうと思うんだ...

our sister is falling in an eternal abyss...

みんな満足さ！

I'm gonna be the king of Asgard...

そう思うだろ？なあ、ロキ

And everyone is happy and good!

あ、あぁ...　そうだな...

Isn't that right brother?

なんか気にくわないな

Yes... Everyone is happy... and ... good.

あぁ、しっくりこない

hrrmmmm.

なにがだよ、バットマン？

This is weird.

俺は今、ヒーロー側だぞ？

Yeah I'm not comfortable with this.

だれもお前を信じていないぞ

What's wrong, Batman?

なぜだ？

Don't you trust that I'm a good guy now?

それは、俺がバットマ...おっと...

Nobody in their right mind would trust you.

申し訳ない。

Why?

癖でつい...

Because I'm Batma...OH

お前が...ロキだからだ

Sorry.

偉大なるバットマンよ

force of habit.

私が民から期待されると思われませんか？

Because you're... Loki.

しかし時が来たら失望させてしまうと？

My dear, Batman.

そうだ

Do you think I'm going to get people's hopes up?

私はどう見られてる？ジャスティス・リーグか？

And ultimately let them down when the time comes?

ムハハハハハ！

Yes.

へっ！

What do I look like? The Justice League?

嫌なやつだ...

Mwahahahahaha!

弟の顔えお殴っても良いか？

Zing!

えーと..

You're so mean.

だめだ

Permission to punch your brother in the face?

冗談だよ！

Uh...

ただの冗談さ！

Denied.

君はジョーカーが好きなんだろ、バットマン？

I'm joking!

ちがう！

It's a friendly joke!

あいつはいないはずだ！

You like jokers. Right Batman?

ねぇ、時間を戻して全部元どおりにできないのか？

This is all wrong!

どういう意味だ？

He's not supposed to be here!

元どおりかって？

Yeah can I just turn back time and make things back to normal?

弟とは一緒だし...

What do you mean?

ハンマーも直った...

Everything is back to normal?

髪もちゃんとあるし...

My brother and I are together again...

今は彼女いないけど、困ることもなさそうだ

I have my hammer...

全部元どおりさ！

I have my hair...

でも...あの事は...

I don't have a girlfriend currently, but that's not even a problem for me.

なんだ？父上のことか？

Everything IS back to normal.

ハルクがまだ行方不明だ

Except..uh...well...

ああ！そうだった...

Except what? Except Father?

バナー...

Except Hulk is still missing.

別にいいだろ...

Oh! I forgot.

どこにいるんだろうな...

Banner.

心配しないで！

I'm not sad.

ハルク 大丈夫！

I wonder where he is.

ああ、そうだな！

Don't worry!

これじゃあ足りないぞ

Hulk fine!

なぜなら俺は"ソー"スティーだからな！

Ahaa! Yes you are!

ハハハハ！

I just can't get enough of this.

はぁ...

Maybe it's because I'm so... Thorsty!

HAHAHAHAHA!

Awe.