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  • I decided to travel from Sydney to the Australian Bush, 2

  • a dangerous land where only the strong survive. 3

  • That's why I hired someone strong to guide me. 4

  • Kevin. Good to see you. 5

  • It's good to see you. 6

  • This is a vest that I wore in the '80s 7

  • in New York, in the club scene. 8

  • What do you think of my arms, 9

  • just before we go any further? 10

  • Muscles, you could do a bit more work. (laughs) 11

  • This is a southern tree funnel web. 12

  • Not just in trees. 13

  • They live also under rocks. 14

  • This thing can kill me? Absolutely. 15

  • Yes, within 20 minutes. 16

  • These are under rocks? 17

  • So what's the-- Yeah, yeah. 18

  • Just under rocks. 19

  • Stop just gesturing around like they're everywhere. 20

  • Are they really everywhere? 21

  • Yes. Why are we here? 22

  • Why did we come here? 23

  • Why didn't we just meet at the Four Seasons Hotel lobby? 24

  • We could have had iced teas, 25

  • and you could have shown me the same (bleep) book. 26

  • So this thing is under rocks? Yes. 27

  • So what's the number one tip. 28

  • Don't look under a rock. Don't pick up rocks? 29

  • Yeah. 30

  • I have a habit, I've had this for a long time, 31

  • and it's probably a bad habit of if I see a stone 32

  • and I want to know what's underneath, 33

  • I use my genitalia to flip it. 34

  • Is that something I shouldn't be doing here? 35

  • (laughs) Lucky you. 36

  • Yeah, it is lucky me. 37

  • Yes, it is. 38

  • I don't even have to move. 39

  • Could get that rock over there from right here. 40

  • It's a long penis joke. Yes, I got it. 41

  • Okay, next one is this fellow here. 42

  • Stinging ants, very dangerous. 43

  • [Conan] Wait, so you're saying this ant could kill me? 44

  • Yes, absolutely. 45

  • You could come down with full-blown anaphylactic shock. 46

  • In fact, my wife stood on a nest. 47

  • She turned white, her lips turned blue, 48

  • she crapped her pants, 49

  • and I had to take her to the hospital. 50

  • Does your wife mind that you put in the part 51

  • where she craps her pants? She doesn't know. 52

  • Okay, well just leave that part out. 53

  • (dramatic, upbeat music) 54

  • What is that? 55

  • That's a trapped little spider hole. 56

  • Sometimes you can get them to come out 57

  • if you just play around with the web. 58

  • That's good. 59

  • Taunting the deadly spider, 60

  • trying to get it to come out of its hole. 61

  • Is there any chance I'm gonna get to use this? 62

  • I'm sure we can find something to do with that. 63

  • Let's see yours. 64

  • (Kevin groans) 65

  • Now let's compare. 66

  • (Conan laughs mischievously) 67

  • That's not a knife. 68

  • This is a knife. 69

  • Trust me. 70

  • That got old in the states 20 years ago. 71

  • Mm-hmm. 72

  • (bell dings) 73

  • Oh wow, this is a wombat berry. 74

  • Now how many of these do I have to eat 75

  • to sustain myself, to stay alive? 76

  • Probably 500. 500? 77

  • So you thought this vest was a waste of time? 78

  • Look at that. 79

  • This is a pocket I used to keep cocaine in. 80

  • Now, wombat berries. 81

  • What a turn of events, eh? 82

  • [Kevin] This is a bunya nut. 83

  • Wait, these fall out of trees? 84

  • Yes. That's heavy. 85

  • That's why I'm looking up. 86

  • You've got to be very careful under the trees, 87

  • 'cause some of these can weigh up to 10 kilograms. 88

  • So we could be killed at any moment. 89

  • Yes. So let's get out of here. 90

  • There's a wind blowing. 91

  • I don't wanna killed by a bunya nut. 92

  • Remember I was telling you about the tree funnel webs? 93

  • Well, this one will kill you as well. 94

  • [Conan] And you're poking it why? 95

  • I'm hoping to get it to come out 96

  • so you can have a look at it. 97

  • I'm good. 98

  • You can show me on the internet. 99

  • You must have a reputation with all the spiders. 100

  • You're like a Mormon at the door. 101

  • Ding dong, ding dong, it's Kevin with his stick. 102

  • Maidenhair fern. 103

  • You can make a cup of tea out of that one. 104

  • A cup of tea. A cup of tea. 105

  • Well, great job, Kevin. 106

  • We've been out here for four hours wandering around, 107

  • and so far we've got three wombat berries 108

  • and the makings of what looks 109

  • to be a third of a cup of tea. 110

  • This is what they give you in coach now on most airlines. 111

  • Hold it. 112

  • This branch is in my way. 113

  • There's another spider. 114

  • (audience laughs) 115

  • I think this is smilax leucophylla. 116

  • Common name is sarsaparilla tea. 117

  • You know what? 118

  • It's starting to add up. 119

  • I now have three berries and the makings 120

  • of two cups of different herbal teas, 121

  • basically the diet of a 98-year-old woman. 122

  • We've collected a little bit of food. 123

  • Now it's time to make a fire. 124

  • Yeah, fire. 125

  • Come on, baby! 126

  • I wanna have some of that herbal tea! 127

  • Come to mama. 128

  • Oh. 129

  • Oh, I see a little smoke! 130

  • We can throw it into that little bird's nest. 131

  • Where do we get that little bird's nest? 132

  • Oh yeah. 133

  • Let me explain to everyone. 134

  • We shaved my crotch about an hour ago. 135

  • We have fire. This is amazing. 136

  • Cavemen. So primal. 137

  • It's a good feeling. 138

  • That your first friction fire? 139

  • That is my first, well. 140

  • (Kevin laughs) Yes it is. 141

  • It's the first friction fire. 142

  • This is the bunya nut. 143

  • These fall from the trees. 144

  • How many nuts will fill you up? 145

  • Well. 146

  • It's a loaded question. 147

  • Whenever I hear the cameraman James laughing, 148

  • I know someone said something 149

  • that could be construed as dirty if you're a four year old. 150

  • I have an endless appetite for nuts. 151

  • There you go. Are you happy now, Kevin? 152

  • (Kevin laughs) 153

  • I just like to lean my head back 154

  • and just drop those nuts in. 155

  • As many as you can. 156

  • And I'm never satisfied till I have 157

  • hundreds of nuts in my mouth. 158

  • Big, meaty nuts. 159

  • You likin' this? Yeah. 160

  • I bet you are. 161

  • Doesn't matter to me. 162

  • Dip 'em in and dip 'em out. 163

  • Mm, nuts. 164

  • [Kevin] This one looks done, just before they turn black. 165

  • Right here? All that fleshy part. 166

  • No comment? 167

  • Maybe I'll go out and forage. 168

  • Hey, mate. Hey. 169

  • Look what I found! 170

  • I found a Jack Daniel's root. Wow. 171

  • Pulled it out of the ground. 172

  • It's all about resourcefulness out here. 173

  • Yes, sir. Don't panic. 174

  • Don't panic, all right? 175

  • You get lost, you don't panic. 176

  • Wander around, you'll find little bottles of liquor. 177

  • Nature provides.

I decided to travel from Sydney to the Australian Bush, 2

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コナン、オーストラリアのブッシュで生き残る方法を学ぶ - CONAN on TBS (Conan Learns How To Survive In The Australian Bush - CONAN on TBS)

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    John Yu に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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