You're changing angles.

- I've gotta host the segment. - I'm trying to be

a good model for you,

as well as-- - Do it, do it.

This is as natural as I can do it.

- Oh no, no.

I'm going for a different angle.

(beep)

- I'm Iliza Shlesinger.

- Hey, Mark Wahlberg here.

I'm already deep into my portrait mode I'm drawing.

- And this is Portrait Mode with Harper's Bazaar.

We're gonna be drawing each other

perfectly anatomically correct to a T.

(upbeat music)

- The movie comes out March 6th on Netflix.

(ding)

Watch it seven times the first day,

six times the second day,

five times the third day.

- Is that March 6th on Netflix?

- No, no.

- Probably at midnight,

'cause people always wanna know.

- Oh no.

You're gonna be mad at me.

You move too much.

(laughs)

- I'm trying to...

That's fine.

That's fine.

- You're sweet.

- You captured the nose,

which is the most expensive part of me.

- The craziest accidents happened on one of my sets.

Oh my god.

Actually, the worst thing that happened to me

was I had a clear earplug pushed

all the way underneath my eardrum

that was there for three weeks before

I had even realized it.

And my head was swollen up like that.

The perfect storm.

So that was the worst.

Oh no, I messed up your lips. - Can I see your eye?

Can you look at me?

Are they the same shape?

- I don't know.

How the (beep) do I know?

I can't see.

- Well you look at yourself the most.

- I don't know, I don't look at myself that much.

I look at what I'm looking at.

- [Interviewer] Who was the funniest person on set?

- Probably me.

You know what?

Alan. (ding)

Had some real zingers.

One morning we came into work

and someone was like,

"Alan, how are you this morning sir?"

And he just went,

"Worse."

I thought that was pretty great.

- One of the funnier moments with Alan was Winston,

I think it was our first scene together,

he comes to me and Alan and he goes,

"Oh, what are you guys hoping to get from this scene?"

And Alan goes,

"I want it to be over."

- Yeah, that was the gist of him the whole time.

He's like,

"I used to be an actor, I don't know what this is."

I'm giving you a lot of neck veins.

- [Mark] Nice.

- 'Cause they're not there now but I do think you have them.

Thick neck Wahlberg. (ding)

Here we go.

- [Interviewer] Can you share an on-stage story?

- An on-stage story.

We had a woman lose control of her bowels

in the 8th row one time and

it's a testament to the house crew

because they were able to swap out

the seat and get her out of there.

And there was a full explosion,

and I didn't know, and I was on stage.

I don't know.

Nobody wants to hear stories about

lighting cues gone awry or...

- Oh my god, that sounds so cool.

Tell me more about the lighting cues.

- Well this one time,

I made this joke about a ghost

and then the lights did flicker

and I was like, oh my god.

Come see me live.

Come see all this riveting story come to life.

- [Interviewer] One minute left.

- This is pretty good.

- I wanna sign my name on this one.

It's good enough for a museum somewhere.

Last little final touches, come on.

- [Iliza] I know, this is make or break.

I tried to pronounce your traps.

I'm making them...

- Trappy?

- Trappy. - [Interviewer] 10 seconds.

- Trappy traps.

- [Interviewer] Seven, six, five, four, three,

two... - Treasure this always.

(buzzer)

- Okay.

This is my picture of the lovely Iliza.

- I look like a character

on a deli menu. (ding)

- Well I'm doing the best I can.

- [Iliza] Okay, fine.

- Do you have to be offensive?

- It's offensive to look at.

(laughs)

Mine's so good.

- What?

Let's see this masterpiece.

- No, I wanna get the rest of your explanation.

- Lovely polka dots.

Beautiful smile.

Very alert eyes.

(Iliza laughs)

I don't think you're intoxicated,

even though you act it.

- That's your compliment is that I'm awake?

(laughs)

- It's all made from love.

- I'm definitely keeping that.

It's really bad but I'm keeping it.

- Oh my god.

- Okay.

This is our suspect.

- What the (beep).

- And this is the area.

I think you'll notice,

I pay homage to some great parts of you.

You got a great hairline.

- It's like Joe Rockhead from the Flintstones.

- You got a great hairline.

- It's terrible.

- You have tiny eyebrows.

You got a strong nose. - [Mark] Why do I

have nipples?

- 'Cause it was poking out of your shirt.

You'll notice the traps

are strong with this one. - I don't see any nipples.

- Well no, but in theory they would be.

In most women's fantasies they would be.

Your strong neck.

- Major Adam's apple.

- Adam's apple.

I gave you your chain.

- And a main jugular, nice.

- So I gave you a man-neck.

And those are your teeth.

And then your tiny mouth.

- So it looks like Frankie Muniz

on steroids. - It does.

A jacked Frankie Muniz.

- I love it.

I love it.

- This is pretty good.

This looks like a bad guy in Beavis and Butt-Head

but it's still pretty good.

And it's proportional.

- Was that one me?

- What is this line on my face?

- [Mark] I was trying to...

You were moving.

- How come I only have eyelashes on the left eye?

- Where? No, they're there.

Oh the bottom. - No, no.

It's time, you't can add it.

Pencils down.

Two hours in hair and makeup for that.

This has been Portrait Mode for Harper's Bazaar.

- One more time, a little more.

- No way. - Enunciate more.

- No way.

I'm doing all the heavy lifting here.

- Just one more.

- This has been Portrait Mode for Harper's Bazaar.

- That was good.

- And please watch Spenser Confidential on March 6th.

- Yeah, what she says.

- Despite the representation,

I am Iliza Shlesinger.

- I'm Mark Wahlberg.

- This is Mark Wahlberg.

This is the man you should be searching for.

- Look at the polka dots on the fingers.

See that was getting into that detail

but I didn't have enough time.