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  • Transcriber: Kamilah Roca-Datzer Reviewer: Amanda Chu

  • I am a beauty disruptor.

  • (Cheers)

  • I am a self-esteem advocate.

  • But more than anything,

  • I am a woman who's fed up with linear beauty standards.

  • (Cheers)

  • I grew up right here in Detroit,

  • where the ideal image for black girls is light-skinned with long hair.

  • Well, I'm brown-skinned.

  • I was always curvier,

  • I had a gap in between my teeth,

  • and I had a flat butt.

  • Still do.

  • But I remember vividly

  • overhearing a guy describe me with the attributes I didn't have.

  • "She not even light-skinned."

  • "She's got a flat butt."

  • But at this time, you couldn't tell me a thing.

  • I thought I was so cute.

  • (Laughter)

  • And that day taught me a valuable lesson.

  • It taught me how to love myself wholly.

  • And more importantly,

  • it taught me how to never allow someone else's opinion of me

  • to determine my value.

  • (Cheers) (Applause)

  • For the last six years, I've built a cosmetic company

  • with the idea to change the way we think about beauty for ourselves

  • and ultimately, how we extend that to those who look differently from us.

  • When I started making lipstick in my kitchen,

  • it wasn't because I was passionate about makeup - no.

  • It was because I was frustrated

  • that attractiveness was consistently looked at through a singular lens.

  • Today if you search the word "beauty,"

  • you'll end up with a sea of fair-skinned, thin, young women

  • as if good looks don't come in any other form.

  • And so, when we have those ideas in the back of our mind,

  • we really start to think that we're ugly.

  • We look at the beautiful people and we think, man, they have it all.

  • They're rich, they're in love, they're happy, they're successful.

  • And I could have that too if I just had ..., if I just changed ...

  • We start to think that we're not enough of something,

  • that we are lacking in some areas.

  • That causes us to stifle opportunities for ourselves

  • because we feel as though we don't belong and that we don't deserve.

  • And even worse, we extend that lack of confidence and low self-esteem.

  • We extend that onto our sisters, our friends, our cousins.

  • Because if I'm not enough, she's definitely not enough, right?

  • For years, women were taught

  • that our value was directly linked with our looks,

  • our ability to get married, our ability to have children.

  • And even today, now that women are starting businesses, taking office -

  • taking over the world, essentially -

  • we're still relegated to this idea

  • that beauty and our looks are most important.

  • We see this in every industry,

  • from Serena dominating on the tennis court to Hillary running for President,

  • all the way down to Louisiana,

  • where a little girl wasn't permitted to go to school,

  • because of her braided hairstyle.

  • Now, braids have always been

  • a long standing part of African and African-American beauty culture.

  • And just because you don't practice it,

  • it doesn't mean that you can't accept or respect it.

  • And I don't know about you, but the last time I checked,

  • my hairstyle didn't prevent me from learning.

  • The tutu that I wear on the tennis court

  • doesn't prevent me from winning a Grand Slam.

  • And the colored suit that I wear,

  • it certainly doesn't make me ill-equipped to run a country.

  • But what's attractiveness anyway?

  • And shouldn't it be subjective?

  • Well, yes and no.

  • What's attractive has become a popularized understanding

  • of our cultural footprint.

  • What we as individuals believe as attractive

  • is directly stemmed from our environment.

  • That's why men really just want to marry women just like their moms.

  • And as much as we want to hate them for it,

  • they can't help it.

  • That's their first perspective of what beauty and love is.

  • Like if I were to grow up in Ghana,

  • I would have valued my thick thighs a lot more than I do

  • having grown up in the US.

  • And while the world is becoming more interconnected than ever,

  • we're seeing that the global standard of beauty

  • is quickly becoming the Western standard of beauty,

  • so much so that in countries like South Africa or China,

  • where the population is largely people of color,

  • white women are still at the forefront of these commercial campaigns.

  • So it doesn't surprise me

  • to hear that 70% of women in Lagos, Nigeria, bleach their skin

  • even though skin bleaching has been linked to cancer.

  • What that tells me is that 10-billion-dollar industry

  • is being upheld by this idea that beauty is linear.

  • Those women are just trying to get ahead.

  • This idea leaves plus-sized women feeling invalid,

  • mature women feeling

  • as though they aged out of their beauty beyond their child-bearing years,

  • and ethnic women feeling unwanted.

  • And don't get me wrong.

  • While it impacts women the most, it's not only us who suffer.

  • Most males CEOs of Fortune 500 companies are taller than average

  • because height is linked to attractiveness and power.

  • This is a multi-generational, gender-neutral issue.

  • Our children are growing up not valuing themselves

  • and certainly not being able to extend that love and acceptance onto their peers.

  • Those children grow up with low self-esteem

  • and end up being consumers of weight-loss fads,

  • of plastic surgery.

  • Have you guys noticed the plastic surgery trend?

  • Surgery on your butt and thigh is up 4,200% since the year 2000.

  • How crazy is that?

  • And so it makes me think back to when I was a little girl,

  • and I thought about me not having a butt.

  • You know if I didn't have that confidence to keep going on,

  • I could be one of these statistics.

  • So how do we transform?

  • How do we start loving ourselves?

  • Well, first of all, we have to figure out what those triggers are

  • that make us feel less than.

  • Is it scrolling through social media?

  • You may need to give it a break.

  • Is it going shopping?

  • Or is it simply just going over Granny's to hear her telling you

  • how much weight you've gained since the last time she saw you.

  • Figure out what those items are and cut them off.

  • I'm telling you if Granny is pulling you down,

  • Granny has got to go.

  • (Laughter)

  • You have to be prepared to go to bat for your identity

  • in this pop culture driven society.

  • So I challenge each of you,

  • when you go home today,

  • look at yourself in the mirror,

  • see all of you,

  • look at all of your greatness that you embody,

  • accept it, and love it.

  • And finally, when you leave the house tomorrow,

  • try to extend that same love and acceptance

  • to someone who doesn't look like you.

  • Thank you.

  • (Applause) (Cheers)

Transcriber: Kamilah Roca-Datzer Reviewer: Amanda Chu

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なぜあなたは醜いと思うのか|メリッサ・バトラー|TEDxDetroit (Why You Think You're Ugly | Melissa Butler | TEDxDetroit)

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    chengye.cai に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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