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When we published my video on 'how to find the perfect partner using optimal stopping
theory" we realised that you Headsqueezers, just like everyone else, need a bit of help
and advicewhen you're looking for love. But unlike anyone else, you guys also want clever,
smart, scientific and rational advice. So let me be your maths-matchmaker and tell you
how to win at online dating.
You might have heard recently about Chris McKinlay, the mathematician who totally gamed
the system, and wrote a computer program which was capable of tricking OkCupid into thinking
it was human. All Chris dod then was set off the computer program to collect data on literally
thousands of women on the site. All with one question -- what was it that the women who
Chris was after, what was it that they were interested in. And once he'd collected that
data, all Chris had to do was create a new dating profile that made him look as attractive
as possible to all of his potential partners.
Now it took him almost a yea to set it up, but in doing so. Chris changed his potential
matches from just 100 to almost 10,000 and at the peak his page was getting visits from
up to 400 women a day.
Conclusive proof if ever it were needed that maths seriously impresses the ladies.
Now Ok Cupid, I think, is a particularly interesting example, not least because it was founded
by a group of mathematicians. And because they're mathematicians, the founders have
been collecting data for almost a decade on how we interact with one another, and how
we speak about ourselves on an internet dating site. And they've come up with some seriously
interesting results.
For starters, it turns out that iphone users do have more sex (or at least they say they
do). Also, skinny women feel a lot better about themselves than curvy women when they're
in their early twenties, but this changes over about the age of 30, when curvy women
overtake skinny women in the self confidence stakes and never look back.
But for me my favourite finding from the group that founded OK Cupid is that it turns out
that how good looking you are does not dictate how popular you are on an online dating website
-- and actually, having people think you're ugly can work to your advantage.
In one of the thankfully voluntary sections of Ok Cupid, you can rate how good looking
you think people are between 1 and 5. Now if we compare this average score that people
achieve on this rating to how many messages they got, you can begin to get an idea of
how good looking you are effects how popular you are on an online dating website.
Now the first thing to notice is that it's definitely not true that good-looking people
get more messages. Maybe there's a little bit of a trend here, but to be honest it's
got an r squared of naff all.
So the big question arises is what is it that's different about the people up here compared
to the people down there.
And it turns out that it's not about how good looking you are -- it's about how much you
divide opinion. Let me give you an example. If you take Holly Willoughby -- everyone agrees
that Holly Willghouby is a very beautiful woman. No one thinks that she's ugly, but
she's not a supermodel either.
But compare her to somebody like Sarah Jessica Parker. Where a lot of people -- myself included,
think that she is absolutely fabulous, and one of the most beautiful creatures to have
ever walked the earth. But a lot of other people, i.e. most of the internet, seems to
think she looks like a horse.
Now if you were asked to rate Holly Wollgoughby and Sarah Jessica Parker on this 1 to 5 scale,
I reckon they would average out to have roughly the same score, but the way that people vote
would be very different. Holly's votes would be clustered around the number four, whereas
for Sarah, you'd get a lot of ones and a lot of fives.
And it's this spread, that fact that Sarah divides opinion, that would make her popular
on an internet dating website. This spread is the thing that's important, and you're
much better of dividing opinion in this way than just being beautiful, like sombody like
Holly.
So if some people think that you're beautiful, you're better off having other people think
that you're a massive minger. That's much better than having everybody think that you're
just the cute girl next door.
Now this begins to make a bit of sense if you start introducing a juicy bit of game
theory. Because the people who are sending these messages are perhaps thinking about
their own chances.
Let's say that somebody thinks you're very attractive, but suspects that other people
might not be that interested. It means that they're going to have less competition, and
an extra incentive to get in touch. But if they think someone's attractive but suspects
that everybody else will as well, why would they bother humiliating themselves.
But here is the really interesting part. Because most people when they set up an online dating
profile pictures, they try and hide the things that they think makes them unattractive. The
classic example is people who think they are a little bit overweight chosing a photo which
only shows their face, or perhaps bald men only choosing photos where they're wearing
hats.
But actually, this is the opposite of what you should do, you should totally play up
to whatever makes you different --even if you think that some people might find it unattractive.
The fact is is that the people who fancy you are going to fancy you regardless. And the
unimportant losers who don't-- well, they only play up to your advantage
Now, If you can think of any other everyday, practical problems that we can help with then
let us know in the comments section below.