Alex Rodriguez is on the show tonight!

[ Cheers and applause ]

I'm so glad he's here.

We actually had the chance to work together recently.

We called a baseball game together.

And it was a lot of fun.

But the teleprompter operator was kind of a loose cannon.

He would put lines into the teleprompter

that we had never seen before, so we'd end up reading things

for the first time live on air.

It was a little nerve-racking,

but I think we handled it all right.

We actually have a clip

of some of our highlights from the broadcast.

Take a look.

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

-Hello! And welcome to today's game.

I'm Jimmy Fallon.

And if you're wondering, yes, they're real.

-Yes, they are. And I'm Alex Rodriguez.

And you can call me little cutie.

Wait. Juicy Fruit booty.

Uh, Jimmy, can I be honest?

Uh, I have an idea.

What am I doing here? And what baseball is?

Back to you, Cynthia. What?

-Well, Gonzalez steps up to the plate.

He's hoping to raise his batting average.

But me, I'm hoping to raise my cholesterol, which is...

why I eat one hard-boiled egg at breakfast,

one at lunch, one at dinner,

and one right before making love.

[ Laughter ]

-You know, uh, baseball actually reminds me a lot of making love.

-Oh, yeah? Why is that?

-It's slow, boring.

And you always leave early to beat the traffic.

[ Laughter ]

-Hey. Just a -- Just a quick reminder

that tomorrow night at the stadium is Rat Night.

Uh, the...

first 20,000 fans... [ Laughs ]

...to arrive will get a free, live rat.

For tickets to the game,

call our number at 212-WET-RAT, extension 12.

[ Laughs ]

Ask for Lenny Kravitz.

No, not that Lenny Kravitz. A different Lenny Kravitz.

Anyway, he's a good dude. He'll hook you up with a rat.

[ Laughter ]

[ Applause ]

-Here's a fun fact.

I never used to shower after games.

-Oh.

-I used to strip down in front of my locker and lick myself.

Clean my little kitty cat. And meow, meow.

Ish?

[ Laughter ]

-You know, what makes Taylor such a good pitcher

is that he throws a blinding fastball,

a wicked change-up, smelly curveball,

super-horny splitter, and a boozy daiquiri.

Oink-oink? What does the hog say?

[ Laughter ]

-I was -- I was thinking

they should make a "Space Jam" for baseball.

-Oh, yeah. -I'll play Bugs Bunny

and say his famous catch phrase, "Uh, how's it going, Docta?"

[ Laughter ]

-You know, when I root for a team,

I like to say my favorite cheer.

"Oh, mama, Dalai Lama, Charlie Sheen, Barack Obama.

Tickle me, I'll tickle you.

Seal my butt with Elmer's Glue."

-I actually won the MVP in 2003, '05, and '07.

But he don't fool by the rocks that I got.

I'm still Ally from the block.

Bazinga.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

-We should --

[ Cheers and applause ]

We should do that more often. -We should.