I'm Taylor Mayhew, PR here at Amazon.

Recently, we banned the government

from using our facial-recognition technology

for one year.

We heard you loud and clear.

You said, "Thank you,"

and, "Wait. You guys were doing that?"

So to get ahead of things,

we're suspending some other Amazon projects.

For the next six weeks,

we're taking a break from shipping all of our items

in packages that collect your DNA.

We've received valid criticism like,

"Why does Amazon need my DNA?"

[ Chuckling ] That's a great question.

We can't tell you.

But now we that know it's bad, we don't want to do any more.

Also, for one week, we're pausing production

of bubble wrap that can hear your thoughts.

[ Energy pulsing ]

We started using mind-reading bubble wrap

to hear from you on how we're doing,

but now we know you don't want bubble wrap

to use its telekinetic powers to learn about the time

your third-grade math teacher caught you

practicing kissing on your hand.

And, finally, when you cancel your Prime membership,

we're gonna stop using your keyboard

to send tiny electric zaps to your fingers.

[ Electricity crackles ] We thought jolting you

was a practical way to remind you

of how wonderful Amazon Prime is.

Instead of going, "Ow!" you would say,

"I got free 2-day shipping on 'Lego Batman' on Blu-ray.

I've never been happier!"

So, to show our appreciation,

we're sending all of our loyal customers

a Teddy bear with very large eyes

that we encourage you to put on a shelf, facing out...

to show that we care.

Amazon. We're listening. Always.