Can you believe it?

I personally can't.

We finally made it to a new decade.

And so much has changed.

We have gone through good times, bad times,

that time when people were eating Tide Pods.

All those times.

We were introduced to new technology

like emojis, new apps like Instagram.

And then people started posting pictures

of their peaches and their eggplants,

and the rest is history.

We also saw some truly amazing progress in the last 10 years.

I am so happy to say that gay marriage was

legalized in all 50 states.

Thank you, I invented gay.

Shortly after that, someone invented the cronut.

It's a combination of a croissant and a donut.

It was anything goes after gay marriage became legal.

People were doing crazy things.

I can't remember everything that's

happened on the show in the last 10 years.

But luckily, we have cameras and we're filming things.

So I don't have to.

And since everyone's talking about their top 10

moments from the decade, I'm going

to do something even crazier.

I'm going to show you my top four.

Yeah, I'm going to skip the six that you're like,

OK, get to the top four.

Hold onto your butt pads.

My first guest ever was Jennifer Aniston.

And since she's been here, she's been,

I think 16 times since then.

Yep.

We've gotten closer and closer through the years.

Maybe too close, because she let me do this to her.

I got you something that I was going

to get for Portia because her birthday was Monday.

And I almost gave it to her, but I got something else instead.

So I'm going to give it to you.

Oh, God.

All right.

OK.

Have you seen these?

What?

What is that?

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

What is it?

Follow my lead, OK?

Take those two things.

What am I doing?

You wearing a bra?

Yeah.

What, I put him in my bra?

Yeah.

Wait, I can't get in.

Hold on, I'm going to expose myself one way or the other.

Hold on a second.

Oh, no.

Whoa!

Yeah.

Am I getting milked?

What's happening?

You can't-- it's a feel.

Isn't it lovely?

This will enhance you.

I don't want to be enhanced.

Yes, you do.

I do?

Dear female friends, you have become our friends

when you're reading--

Oh, now they're going at the same time.

I know.

Isn't that wonderful?

You know, she acted like she wasn't into it.

She took them home, though.

They were gone.

One of my favorite things about this job is my staff.

They make me laugh every day.

This is a surprising moment from our annual Thanksgiving

monologue.

Thanksgiving is a big day for family.

And one of the most stressful parts

is figuring out where to seat the people at the dinner table.

That is, don't you think that that's the hardest thing?

Because they're like, why am I sitting over here

when, you know.

So today I thought I would help you out.

So here at the end of the table we have grandma, because.

It's a good place for Grandma to be

because, let's be honest, grandma

is going to keep talking about "those people"

and you don't know who she's talking about.

But you're pretty sure it's offensive.

So it's best that nobody hears what she's talking about.

All right, over here we have your Uncle Bob.

And he's going to have Bluetooth in his ear

the entire time, even though no one is calling him.

He was also on the last episode of Dateline.

So we keep him down here.

Next to him is his new wife Krystal.

She's into stuffing, and I don't mean the food.

And your Aunt Melissa, who is--

Big fan.

Thank you.

Who usually brings her roommate, but.

I've never been able to look at Troy the same way.

When I started this show, I had no idea

the kind of lifelong friends that I

would make like George Clooney and Julia Roberts and ALF.

And also Michelle Obama.

And when her new book came out, I took her to Costco

to sign some copies.

All right.

Oh, look.

This is the first time I've seen my book in a store.

It's here.

And you're going to sign books.

We have Michelle Obama here.

Michelle Obama.

She'll be signing books.

Free samples!

Anybody want a free sample?

What's your name?

Here's a free sample for you.

What is your name.

What's your name?

Michelle, what did you put in here?

Oh, my God.

Michelle, you can't do that.

Look at her.

She does a lot of book signings, so she gets a little, you know.

That's crazy, you can't--

I'm sorry, don't even act like that happened, all right?

What's your name?

Dina.

What-- What did you?

I didn't say anything.

Oh.

What aisle is the foot fungus medicine on?

Michelle is asking for foot fungus medicine.

I don't need foot fungus medicine, no.

So I came for lunch since I got my [INAUDIBLE]..

Are you sure you only want the 30-pack?

I don't need that much toilet paper.

I'm good.

We're good.

Why do you say one thing to me quietly, and then

act like you didn't say it?

For those of you can't get here, I'm

going to read a tiny bit of her book

so that you can see what is inside.

He hugged her by the waist and pulled her flush--

That's not--

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

That's not my book.

What book is that?

I don't know.

Start reading from my book.

Emma, OK.

Smell this.

No.

When they go low, we get high.

When they go low, we get high.

Put that down, you're going to get that up your nose.

And then you'll be sorry.

Going to get up your nose.

How are you guys doing?

What's your name?

Monica.

Great.

M-O-N-I-C-A?

I won't say anything.

Oh, my God.

From sitting so much.

Yeah, that can be a problem.

No, we don't need this.

No, thank you.

And what's your name?

What are you doing?

Can't take her anywhere, can you?

When I say Michelle, you say you Pfeiffer.

Michelle, Michelle.

You thought I was going to say Obama.

You got me on that one.

All right, everybody.

This has been fun.

I miss Michelle.

We miss Michelle.

I miss the Obama's.

We miss the Obama's.

We hope Michelle's foot fungus clears up.

I don't have foot fungus.

We love Michelle!

We love Ellen!

What you didn't see is she ended up

buying all of that Preparation H. Finally,

if there's one thing I love doing on my show,

it's hidden camera pranks like this one.

Well, our audience member Heidi Ann is at Starbucks.

She's wearing an ear piece.

She's going to say whatever I tell her to say.

Heidi Ann, nod if you can hear me.

Don't say anything, just nod if you can hear me.

All right, and give me a thumbs up, also.

All right, I want you to start guessing what they order.

You know, just say hello, welcome to Starbucks,

and then let me guess your order and just start guessing.

Hello person in a silver car, how can I help you?

Hello person and children in your car, how can I help you?

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,

hello, hello, hello.

Hello, hello, hello.

You do it with me and let's harmonize, ma'am.

I'll go hello, and you go hello.

Tell her.

Hello.

You do it with me.

I'm going to say hello and then you say hello, OK?

Hello.

OK, let's try it again.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

How can I help you?

Welcome to Starbucks, this is Heidi, how may I help you?

Can I get a venti iced coffee with three pumps

of white mocha, please?

I'm sorry, can you speak up?

Can I get a venti iced coffee with three pumps

of white mocha, please?

Three pumps?

Three pumps?

Are you sure you want three pumps?

You sure you want three pumps?

Absolutely, positive.

All right.

All right.

Oh, I just ate so much chocolate.

I'm full.

Oh, I just ate so much chocolate.

I'm full.

I just smoked so much weed--

[LAUGHING]

Like I said to Michelle Obama, when they go low, we get high.

This next decade is going to be so much fun.

And I'm going to keep doing this show

until they invite me on Dancing with the Stars.

We'll be back.

Hi, I'm Andy.

Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel

so you can see more awesome videos,

like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things.

Like ball peen hammer.

And also some videos of Ellen and other celebrities.

If you're into that sort of thing.

Ah!

[BLEEP]! God! [BLEEP]!