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Pt1: Redge: Hey, Bryan. It’s good to chat with
you again here this week and I just wanted to follow up a little bit on our conversation
last week when we talked a little bit about the news and how most news stories is just
so negative and without us maybe even realizing how much negativity that brings into our lives,
it can really affect our mood and maybe even be contributing back to our depression, those
sort of things. I was just talking with you before about how
the words that we used, kind of similar. Tell me a little bit about that.
Bryan: Yeah, that’s really true. The words we used can really drastically affect the
way we feel about ourselves. For example, when someone asked you, “How you’re doing?”
Instead of saying, “Fine,” or whatever which is kind of the standard response to,
“I’m just saying hello to you”, make the conscious effort to say, “I’m doing
great. Well, I’m doing good.” Even if you don’t really feel it, just make
the conscious effort to say it and the mere fact to just verbalizing it will help make
it so. Even if it’s just for a little bit of time but …
Redge: Yeah, that’s really interesting, and I can see the point. I’m curious about
when I’m saying that and I’m not necessarily feeling it, does that create an incongruence
or how does that play out? Bryan: Well, if you’re suffering with depression,
it’s going to take some work to get out of it. There’s no question there. If you
truly want to get out of it, how that real desire to get out of it, this is an easy step
you can take to start yourself on the path to recovery.
Redge: I mean, that’s really cool if it’s a matter of using some different words. That
doesn’t necessarily seem as heard as some of the other things that we might try to overcome
our depression. Give me some other examples of words that we could use and how we can
be empowering or disempowering ourselves with the words we use?
Bryan: A real good one is try. If someone says, “I’m going to try to do something,”
by and large, they’re not going to do it. I mean, has anyone ever told you they’re
going to try and make it to your party or they’re going to try and stop at the store
on their way home? Redge: Yeah, it’s not going to happen.
Bryan: It’s like, try implies failure. You don’t try and open a door. You either open
the door or not unless you don’t have a key for it.
Redge: Yeah. I mean right there, there’s a sort of boldness in removing the word from
your vocabulary. Bryan: Absolutely. If you surprise how many
times people actually say try without even thinking about it.
Redge: How do we go about becoming more aware of the things that we’re saying in the effect
that it has on us? Bryan: Just making this conscious up, start
with the things saying that you feel good or when someone ask you, “How you’re doing
today?” Just say, “Good.” Eliminate try. Just either are going to do something
or you aren’t or not. Redge: Yeah, that makes sense. Sort of start
with one word that you realize that you use and just try and make a conscious effort to
start noticing when you use that word. Bryan: Like right there, you just said, “try
to make a conscious effort” there. Redge: Wow. Oh man, it just sneaks right in,
doesn’t it? Bryan: Yeah. You have to make that choice
to make a conscious effort to eliminate try from your vocabulary.
Redge: Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. I’m going to make a conscious effort to look for
the words that are not helping me and eliminating them. There we go, I didn’t say try. I have
to work at it.