Good meme, good ''intro"

Today we're going to review greentext memes

Yes, that's right(Subscribe me @ Dushyant Saraf)

the funny reddit memes, people discovered that if you write on reddit with a

greater than sign the text turns green!

How cool is that? So people started using it for ways to write f..funny stories or perhaps share embarrassing moments from their past

if you don't know what I'm talking about here's a great example

>Sex Ed teacher eight years ago told us to be careful when having sex.

>Never have sex

how about that one Mrs. Smith?

That's right. How about that? (laugh*)

Gotcha good didn't I!?(Laugh*)

>Be at Swedish ship cruise

>haven't defecated in a week week

>*OOF* at least three giant python in the toilet

>try to flush

>not working.jpg

>panic

>try to flush again but *OOF* doesn't flush

>look for a cleaner lady in the hallway

>Swedish is really bad so grab the hand of cleaner and take her to the bathroom

>try to flush and say "titta" (watch in Swedish) while push the flush button

>*OOF* goes quite normally away

??????!!!?!

Did this happened to me?

I feel like it had. it could have- it could have happened to the best of us.

I feel like at least everyone has a really great *OOF* story. You know what I mean? (YASS DADY)

>Watch several ISIS videos because I love gore.

????

Okay...

>The song that plays in them gets stuck in my head

>Start humming it to myself at work

>Muslim co-worker puts his hand on my shoulder says "soon, brother. soon."

>Lay in hospital bed

>family is surrounding you

>everyone crying

>let out your tear

>Life is flashing through your eyes

>50 years of hardcore porn in one millisecond

>nut all over everyone

>your last words are

* O O F *

>Let out last breath

>die

This is why you all need to stop watching porn

>be fat

>Go to /fit/ and find a solution

>Main problem is I eat like a dumpster

>apparently things with loads of fiber is going to save my filthy soul

>"Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and it helps with digestion"

>Go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars

>the first day I have fiber bars for breakfast lunch, and lots of snacks.

>I don't *OOF* that day

>next day I fiber myself up even more.

>I don't *OOF* that day either

>Fiber Jesus is surely worth his magic in my colon

>Can feel pounds dropping off because I'm not very hungry anymore.

>I don't *OOF* the third day

>I don't *OOF* the fourth day

>thefinaldaydawns.mp3

>I have my morning coffee. I feel my insides rumble in that familiar way

>The second I hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me

>It's whistling

>just a thin, continuous air stream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin

>no sound other than the whistling hiss

>suddenly stops

>the hole is plugged

>SOS

>this *OOF* is so solid it feels like I'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson

>hang on the shower curtain and pray

>the rock is shot out of my *OOF*hole at mach speed

>my entire ass is covered in toilet water

>now the fun begins

>a fart that can-

oh god jeezus

>a fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosols ever did is shooting *OOF* bullets out of me

>solid and perectly round nuggets

>the smell is killing me

>Blacking out

>the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber

>Flatulence is giving me war flashback.

>iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg

>My guts are yelling in German

>sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly

>most of the *OOF* isn't even digested at this point

>Just forced out by all the gas that I'd been building up by my throat

>After an hour it finally seems to be over.

>I'm shivering and crying

>Both legs collapse as I try to stand up

>My stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet

>Gondorcallsforaid.rar

>Shakily wipes my ass

>Completely clean

>Go on akinator

>say yes when asked if your character is a porn star

>Answer in accordance to what you want your porn star to look like

>Akinator gives you a hand-picked porn star to fit your pri- preferences

Why do I wear the headphones?

That's genius!

akinator help me find my dream wife

Does it work with anime girls?

It's your character older than 18?

*silent laugh*

P R O B A B L Y

Okay. Apparently, I have found my anime waifu

Sorry Marzia.

>Be year 2014, woman rule the world

>Rihanna is their leader

>Be stuck in conentration camp for men

>Rihanna killing all the dudes because they found a way to reproduce without us

group of us overpower gaurdesses

>Be running

>get surrounded

>standoff.png

>all of a sudden a masked hero appears with his schlong flapping in the wind

>Beats up all the women

>sets all the dudes free

>wow many thanks

>takes mask off

It was Chris Brown

O h

I fucked up big time boys

>Be happily married for six years

>wife and I call each other cute pet names more than our real names

>Introduce us both at a function.

>"I'm Anon and this is my wife...uh..."

>sweetfuckingchrist.jp-

>tfw i don't remember her name

>mfw she's making me sleep in the backyard

how do i recover-

*felix mating call*

Got a story about this

>Be 12

>6th grade

>really need to piss

>excuse myself from band class

>rush to bathroom

>It's all the way on the other side of the school

>Discretely holding my *OOF* closed as I do

>arrive

>Decide to kick down stall door like I'm in the movies.

>It's *OOF* Occupied

kid *OOF* frog style with both feet on the toilet seat

>watching his turd quickly retract into his rectum like a scared turtle

>the scare causes me to *OOF* myself

>mfw

>Make a friend while playing team fortress 2

>Never really had a vidya friend before

>we played together often talk about life a bit too

>he mentions he's had a girlfriend for about four years

>One day says he's going to propose to her

>give him some encouragement

>Next day he's online. He says she rejected him

>tried to be supportive of him

>He spirals into depression

>spends all his time playing vidya for a few months

>one day he tells me that he's planning to commit suicide

>Talk to him for a few days see if he's really serious about it

>Realize I can't talk him out of it. He stopped going to his job after his girlfriend dumped him, just became a recluse

with no will to live

>Wish him the best in the afterlife and say goodbye

>last online: 1764 days ago

>be gopnik

>be effing dumb

>need to form a sentence to get attention from people

>Squat, so circulation to your legs actually denied

>more blood go to your brain

>You can actually make sentences

>use it to lurk people closer

>get up and start punching the *OOF* out of that

That's right the reason Matty the SWAT is so you can have more blood into your pumped into your brain

What are you stupid?

This is the body movement of intellectuals true thinkers, but yeah, try out the green texting is really cool

he works on every websites ever so just let me know if you had get on with it and

Remember to like if you enjoyed check out another video and as always

Pewdiepie with the six-oh win

Taking over YouTube,Tryna get like him

Brofist to the face

Can you keep up with the pace?

And i'm never gonna switch

BUT CAN YOU DO THIS???

How's it going bros?

Gotta get it like this

When you wanna hit the flow

Grinding like open up pop a top and never stop

Run up in the city and i'm never gonna flop

Tell me when to go i'm like whenever

I'm done with this pass the mic to Edgar