created to empower creators and reward viewers

それじゃあ本題に入ろう

tHAT'S YOU

実は金タマぶっ壊れたんだ

I've been streaming on dlive for a month now

ついに時が来たんだ

and its been absolutely fantastic

人生で一番恥ずかしい話をするときが

Everyone in the community has been so welcoming

君も「俺も金タマくらいおかしくなったことあるよ」

'okay, alright alright'

「蹴られたら本当に痛いよな」とか思ってるだろ

It's been nothing but smiles and laughs

そんなの大したことない！！

I love how everyone in the community is so excited about the platform

ゴミ！！

and getting other people into it as well so i definitely recommend that you're streaming on dlive

ごめん、実はぶっ壊れてはいないんだ

Now for you, the viewer

いいね？

dlive is rewarding you more than ever before baby

タイトルには嘘がないようにしないと

Other platforms, pshh, they just spam a bunch of ads

でも俺の話を聞いてくれ

Very anti-viewer

君を変えるような話かもしれない

dlive, completely opposite, very welcome viewer

うっ..てなるような

dlive rewards you simply for watching

辛さ、あれは間違いなく辛かった

Simply for chatting, simply for supporting streamers

ケツを破壊しただけでは物足りなかったようでね

dlive is launching a brand new treasure chest

金タマもやっちゃったんだ

Now how does this treasure chest work you might ask?

心もズタズタになった

The more viewers engage, chat and donate

全部今から話すことのせいさ

the faster you will unlock the chest

てことで

and the faster that chest gets burst baby

行って

the more viewers will be rewarded

みよう

To show my appreciation, my deep and utmost...

14の時だった

Love

ある朝起きて、みんなするようにタマを確認したんだ

I'll be streaming on May 18th

確認するだろ？

And let's burst some chests baby

その時気付いたんだ

This is during the dlive Super fans festival

うーん

To celebrate you guys

なんかおかしいな

Download the dlive app now, and I'll see you guys on May 18th

片方が3,4倍くらいでかいんだ

I think it's been really fun to,

なんかおかしい

engage live with you guys

でもその時は

It's bringing in a whole new perspective and idea so

あんまり気にしてなかった

Thanks for everyone that joined me so far

でもどうすれば？

Now lets just get on with the video

日が経って

i broke my balls

なんか心に残ってたんだ

That's right everyone

なんでかって？

It's time for me to finally come clean

片方が大きいってちょっとおかしいでしょ？

and share one of my most embarrassing stories of my life

昔からそんな感じだったっけ？

And you might think to yourself

気付いてなかっただけ？

'oh i broken my balls too'

おっぱいの大きさが左右で違う女の子だっているはず

'it really hurts when you smash them ohhh i got kicked in my balls '

それのタマバージョンが俺さ

thats NOTHING

な？

tHAS NOTHING

でもいい話じゃないよね

sorry

ある朝起きて気付きたいものじゃないんだよ

Now technically i didn't break my balls

その時はそのくらいに思ってた

I just need the titles to be consistent

でもしばらくして

But lemme tell you what happened, and it might change your mind

やっぱおかしい、どうにかしなきゃって思った

it might make you go

だからタマがおかしくなった人はみんなするであろうことをした

oOF

(医者に行く？)

I don't know what pain is, what that man experienced, that was pain

お父さんに見せたんだ

He didn't just break his ass

この時点ですでにめちゃくちゃ恥ずかしい

He also broke his balls

お父さんに見せたいものじゃないだろ？ 少なくとも俺はそう

and he broke my heart

唯一それが許されるのって

by listening to this story

サウナくらい？

so lets just jump into it

あとは..

I was 14 years old

いやそれだけだ

and i woke up

それか片タマだけでかい時さ

and did what anyone that has balls do when they wake up

俺は焦ってた だから見せたんだ

you look- You look at them

俺に何が起きてるのか超心配してた

I looked down at my balls and i noticed

そういう時最悪なことを考えちゃうんだ

hMM

もしかしたらガン？

'that's a bit weird'

とか

the other one is like three times

本当にやばいんじゃないかとは思わなかったけど

four times maybe

この不均等な金タマと一生過ごすのかって

larger than the other one

本当に焦ってた、だから父さんに見せたけど

'hmm that's a bit weird'

君もわかると思うけど、何か心配している時

But of course

それを増長させるのって

i didn't think about it more than that

こう言う顔された時なんだよ

Why should I?

「ねぇ父さん、金タマがちょっとおかしいんだけど、大丈夫だよね？」

But then as the day went on

あの顔は忘れられない

It was sort of lingering in the back of my mind

どんなことよりもひどい記憶だよ

'you know what, maybe it isn't supposed to be so much bigger'

フォーカスがおかしいな

'has it always been that much bigger?'

明らかに、お父さんは大丈夫と思ってなかったようで

'Maybe i just never noticed'

なんでこれ話してるんだ

Maybe im- just some girls have different proportionate boobies

それで病院の予約したんだ

Maybe I'm a disproportionate ball kinda guy

結構早く診てもらえた

Its not great news

スウェーデンのヘルスケアがいいのか

Its not what you wanna wake up realising

俺のタマが相当やばいと思ったのかわかんないけど

but that's what i thought at least

悲しいことに、その病院に行ったことは

But then

本当に

After a while I realized I need to confront this.

本当によく覚えてる

This is not normal.

だって

Okay.

めちゃくちゃ辛かったんだ

So I did what any person would have done if there's something wrong with your balls:

痛々しい経験だった

You show them to your dad.

部屋に入って見ると

And obviously that's very humiliating already.

壁が白とか茶色の全部無機質で硬いやつだったんだ

You don't want to show your balls to your dad.

そこにベッドがポツンとあって

At least I don't, okay?

なんか普通の病院とは違うような感じだった

I think the only context you're allowed to show your balls to your dad is...

それで14歳の俺はこんな感じで

in the sauna.

寝てたんだ

And...

変な状況だよ、隣に父さんもいるんだ

No, I think that's it. That's the only context.

医者が来て

Or if your ball is bigger than the other one, of course.

大事なのは

So I showed my– I was freaking out, okay?

こう言う時どうしたらいいのか誰も教えてくれないこと

I was super worried about what was wrong with me.

学校では数学とか

You know worst possible scenarios is running in your head.

歴史とか

Not like oh do I have cancer or Oh, am I good something really bad happened. It was oh my god

理科とかそう言う無意味なこと教えてくれるけど

Am I gonna live with this proportion that balls my entire life? I was freaking out

医者に金たま診てもらう時のことは誰も教えてくれないでしょ

I showed my balls to my dad and he you know

学校では教えてくれない疑問がある

Whenever you're worried about something the most reassuring thing that you can

タマを誰かに見せるとき

Get back from someone is obviously when they make this face

礼儀良くするために持ち上げてあげる？

Hey, Dad, can you please look at my balls please? And make sure it's nothing bad, right?

まあそうした方がいいと思うでしょ？

I'll never forget that face worse than any disappointment realize my camera isn't really focused

だから俺は持ち上げてあげ..なんでこれ話してるんだ

So obviously he didn't think it was fine

そしたら医者は「あぁ！」

What am I sharing this?

「邪魔だ、どけなさい！」って

so we we booked an appointment with the doctor and

それでタマを突き始めたんだ

I think they let us in pretty quickly. I don't know if that's health care in Sweden

もう恥ずかしすぎるし

It's good or if they thought oh like oh, that's not that's really bad

ずっとこうされてるんだ

Well, we'll need to get this guy into the hospital

なんかこう、

But I remember this hospital visit unfortunately

なんか

Very very very clearly because it was painful a very painful experience. I basically had to

とりあえず突いて来たんだ

Go into this room

でも彼はよくわからなかったようで

And I remembered so clearly they had like brown

とりあえず悪いことが起きてないことを確認するために

Tiles and white walls just like hard surfaces everywhere

もっと詳しい人の助けが必要だったようで

And there was this bed in the middle of the room that it wasn't really, you know

でもまあその時点で大体なんともないだろうって思うじゃん

Like those hospital beds then you lay down on kind of like this just imagine 14 or all mean like this. Okay

医者が俺に辱めを受けさせようと思ってただけだと思ってたんだよ

I'm laying down like this

それでまた2人が来ただけじゃなくて

I'm freaking out

3人も入って来て、最悪なことに一人は綺麗なお姉さんだったんだよ！

my dad is sitting next to me and in comes this doctor and

それはもう、最悪中の最悪じゃんか

The thing is like that what really bothers me about these things is that no one tells you what the courtesy is

ただただタマを突っつかれたり観察されるなんて

You know in school they teach you about math. They teach you by a history

じっと見つめられるより突かれてる方がまだ良かった

They teach you about science all these completely useless things

それで俺はその冷たい部屋で、お父さんが隣にいて

But no one teaches you what to do when you have to present your balls to a doctor

お父さんにとっても辛い経験だったと思うんだ

All right

ずっとつついてるのを見てたんだ

here's a question that no one teaches you in school when you're supposed to present your balls to someone do you give them the

それで医者はタマのレントゲンを撮ろうとして

courtesy of

また一週間後に予約したんだ

lifting up your song

それでまた同じジレンマさ

It would make sense, right

今回は俺一人で

I remember going I remember God watch my sharing that and hidden the doctor just going on

正直そっちの方が良かった

Put that away. Let me get in there. So he started croaking. I'm alone

部屋に入った時医者もいなかったんだ

And obviously that's not a very good feeling. I'm already humiliated and I had this guy just going

でもまたタマを診られることは知ってた

Treating my boss like it's some sort of

だからまた学校では教えられないアレさ

Thing that you poke I don't know what kind of things do you poke?

医者のためにパンツを脱いでおいて「ヘイドクター、準備バッチリ」みたいにしておくのがいいのか

But he wasn't sure I guess he really wanted to make sure it wasn't something really bad

まだ脱がない方がいいのか悩んだ

So he wanted some expertise his help and I'm pretty sure he knew it was fine

結局脱いだ でも変でしょ？笑

Okay, because I'm pretty sure he just wanted to humiliate me even farther

想像してほしい

so not just two more doctors came in three more doctors came in and one of them happened to be a very

部屋に入ったら１４の子供が

attractive lady

「ドクター、準備OKさ、またつついてくれよ！」みたいな風にしてるんだ

which is like the worst thing you could ever have to someone just poking or just looking I would rather like she poked and just

今回はスキャナーみたいなのを持って来て

Looked so there I was in this cold room with my dad next to me and I assumed they was equally painful for him

正確にはなんなのかわからないけど

Just think doctors poking away now they concluded

今回は辛くなかった

Okay, we need to get the Bulls and so I got an appointment about a week later again

一回やってしまったことには耐性がつくってことなんじゃないかな

Same dilemma this time. I was alone. My dad wasn't with me. I wish it was honestly for the better

少なくともそう言う風に考えるのが俺は好き

There was no doctor in the room when I was sent in there as well

死なない程度のことは君を強くしてくれるんだ

So and I know he's gonna check out my balls. So again, no one teaches in this school

少なくとも今俺のタマを検査されるとしても

Am I supposed to just take off my pants and wait for him pay less and be like, hey, I'm ready doctor

俺は

Or do I wait to take off my pants? I took off my pants and I realized that's really weird

できるよ

Can you imagine just coming in and some oh, hey doctor. I'm ready poked away this time

誇らしげにね

They just used some sort of scanner. I don't know exactly what it was

でも

It wasn't that it wasn't painful at all this time

結局

Maybe it's one of those experiences that once you've done it once it's not that bad. I

金たまの血管が

Like to think of it that way at least link what doesn't kill you make you stronger

少し拡張していたと言うか大きくなってたらしいんだ

at least now if someone needs to inspect my balls, I

それだけ

Can I can do it proudly, but they concluded it was just my blood vessel in my balls

普通よりおっきくなった金たまのお話でした

Had expanded dad-like became larger

Nobody: Pewdiepie:

So that was it. That's the story of how my balls are slightly larger than average

俺はこの話をこれで終わりにしたくないんだ

Nobody baby boy now. I want the moral of this story to be

明らかにめちゃくちゃ恥ずかしい経験で

You know, this is obviously a very embarrassing experience, but I also consider myself very lucky to have balls

でも今俺は金タマがあって本当に良かったとおもってる

I think anyone that I have balls feel very privileged to have them

金タマがあるみんなも

Not that then I'm not discriminating against anyone without balls. Just let that be clear

とても素晴らしく思ってるでしょ

I'm just saying I'm very happy to have my balls. What was the point of this video? I'm very lucky to have balls

タマがない人をどうこう言いたいわけじゃないよ

I'm very lucky to have my point. I'm very lucky to be healthy, but I'm not discriminating against anyone

わかってね

okay, and also as some painful and embarrassing this experience once it's something that I can look back at and laugh at and

ただ俺は金タマがちゃんとあって良かったって言いたいだけ

Not just cringe into oblivion

で、この動画の趣旨はなんだ

So if you have any issues with your balls go and get your balls checked go show your balls to your dad

金タマあって最高

Anything you got to do just do it because it's better to find out, you know, I was lucky that it was nothing

つまり健康ってことは最高なんだよ！！！

But it's better to find out these things sooner and if there's any message I want to send out there it is

だからって誰かを蔑視してるわけでもないよ！！

That just that show your balls to your dad. That's really the only message of this video and I really hope this helps people

あと、この辛くて恥ずかしい経験は

I'm doing this so I can help other people

今は振り返って笑うことができる

I've actually had my balls checked three times, which is three times too many

忘れ去られるようなことじゃない

No, four times

だから君のタマがおかしくなったりしたら

Why does these things happen to me? Was breaking my ass not enough

ちゃんと調べよう

I think I shared enough about this experience. But I do feel better. I gotta say this is very therapetic

お父さんに見せよう

"Thearapeutic" for me. Thank you for listening and I see you next time

大事なことは、ちゃんと実行すること

That's the story of how my balls are slightly larger than average

俺はたまたまなんともなかったけど

What you never played toupper simulator

早め早めの対策はいいことなんだ

You know, it's fun right? I'm not supposed to give my opinion

だから俺が伝えたいことは

But give it a try and then you can tell me if it's good or not. Not convinced yet? Okay, I'll cut you a deal

困ったらお父さんに金タマ見せよう

The game is available for free and that's a great price.

それだけがこの動画を通して言いたいことさ