*pew news intro*

my name is GlooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

o o o o o o oo

*O I N T E N S I F I E S*

-ria Borger

and you're watching the most respectable news site outlet of all time

that is not our personal bias, that is just

Straight up

F A C T S

Now some news for-

*dramatic close up*

A lesser media outlet

Buzzfeed, everyone

H A

patheticc-

Buzzfeed prints a one-off magazine!

♥ w o o w ♥

That's incredible! Wow how innovative! (Truly innovative)

Going back to print, what a great idea! (Captions agree)

And put-

M O M O

on the cover.

This is phenomenal work, Buzzfeed

Good job Buzzfeed you really did- you really outdone yourself this time Buzzfeed

Can I sound a little bit more condescending?

So this was on my Twitter news feed for some reason

Twitter decided "hey you wanna know about this?"

BUZZFEED EVERYONE

Its a- And I love all the responses to this basically

*N O O N E C A R E S*

(noonecares.mp4)

Good call moving to print! Booming industry!

So you're telling me that the creative director said:

"When history looks back at Buzzfeed's #1 issue,

we want the iconic MOMO to be on the cover..?"

Well well well, to bad there wont be any history for Buzzfeed

I know, this is so sad

Last month it was reported that as many as 2100 people have lost their jobs in the past two weeks

Buzzfeed having a cut of 15% of their staff This is SO. SAD. ok

I'm not giving my opinion, but I'm literally shaking and crying right now

Buzzfeed, who hires such amazing people like Joe Bernstein-

Oh, god no!

NOOOOOOOOOOO-

*smac*

*SmAc*

*S M A C*

Oh and not vice too, Vice!

Laying off 10% of their workforce?

Vice, that does such incredible journalism..

This is a huge blow for journalism...

How are we possibly going to survive?

Now, obviously people losing their jobs is not to be celebrated

but...

*dramatic closeup 2 incoming*

B U T

Kinda hard to feel bad for companies, that are running these smear campaigns

Not just against me, but other people as well.

Are you suppos- How long do they keep thinking they can do this kind of stuff without getting away with it?

Obviously there are many factors involved

But I find it ironic and funny how Buzzfeed two years ago after the wall street journal scandal,

uh, posted about my-my downfall

Writing: His downfall feels anti-capitalist, it feels nonconformist, it makes us feel all the things we love to feel to prove we're better than

Well

WELL

W E L L

what a downfall indeed

Have fun, Buzzfeed

I'll be laughing all the way

N E X T (clap) N E W S

Next news comes from Captain Marvel, that's right

y'all know I would talk about this.

the reason why I haven't done a few news in a while is

I haven't been too invested in what's happening

and it's been kind of nice to be honest

but this is one of those news that

uH-

you just can't- You can't escape

it's been literally everywhere, recommended in all the feeds

Rotten Tomatoes explains why it removed thousands of audience reviews on Captain Marvel's opening day

WELL

I don't even have to research this

DISNEY PAID THEM!!

that is not fact. that is just pure speculation

but it also

most importantly

is my opinion (which she's not supposed to have)

Basically, if you don't know what happened here

the Captain Marvel audience score review

on Rotten Tomatoes was at 33%

and then a lot of reviews just disappeared and got deleted

some people were estimating over 50,000

and now it's sitting at 55% like ratio.

Now, however still enjoys Marvel films

you know

that's up to you, but

a lot of people define this as 'trolls', you know

this is trolls and therefore, we have every right .

remove the review

if you're a troll then your opinion doesn't count, basically

ah, yes! Trolls! That's a good excuse to remove freedom of speech!

iF yOu'Re A tRoLl,

ThEn YoU'rE nOt AlLoWeD tO vOiCe YoUr OpInIoN!

mm-mm-mmh!

This s**t annoys me so much because it reminds me

of the goddamn Amy Schumer thing

I don't know if you remember her Netflix special

which was one of the worst things I've ever watched

and I watched that with an open mind

5% liked this film according to Google users

After the bad reviews came out

on Netflix from the Amy Schumer special

they removed the 5 star rating system

which now makes it impossible to find something

that you actually like on Netflix.

I've just given up tryna find stuff on there

Rotten Tomatoes said that it was a bug

?A BUG ?

that removed 10,000 audience reviews

Okay, Rotten Tomatoes, sure. Sure.

Are we expected to believe this?

Now, you might ask yourself, why?

Why was it getting bad reviews in the beginning?

Well, some people obviously liked the film

Some people described it as bland

and not that interesting and I mean

considering how many Marvel films they've done at this

point, it's probably kinda hard

to innovate. Personally

I think a lot of people disliked this film

becuase of the main charac- the main

actress, Brie Larson

who is probably one of the most unlikeable lead

female characters I've seen in a long

time. I mean , just-

and one more question. Um, what does it

mean to be a woman in film?

..........

it means it's really hard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

........ and if you're a woman of colour,

then it's really, really hard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

God, everyone just wants to be a victim, don't they?

Imagine being the lead- the lead of a...

multi million- what is it? Like

500 million- what was the budget

for this- IT DOESN'T MATTER

and then say it's really hard (giggles)

Imagine being attractive

being paid millions and then

going 'iT's So HaRd'. Like,

Jesus Christ. Imaging being

the figure of female

er- strong character and going

'it's really HARD' ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) JESUS CHRIST

What's ironic about this whole situation

about reviews getting removed is that

Lee Brar..er.. Larson herself

in the past expressed that

she doesnt like the way the

system of reviews is done because

a movie that she

like- what was it? A Tangle In Time

or something? What's it called?

A Wrinkle In Time ! ...got bad

reviews. Her response to that was basically

'well, it wasn't made for you'

67% of white men

are making these reviews

That's why it got bad reviews

because it wasn't made for white men, okay?

They've released findings

*SCHNIFF*

...that 67% of the top

critics reviewing the

100 highest grossing movies

in 2017

were white males.

Less than a quarter were white women

and less than 10% were

unrepresented men

only 2.5% of

those top critics were women of colour.

It's important to know

the fact here that Brie Larson

doesn't hate white men - and I'm also saying

I don't hate white dudes! I'm just sayin

I'm not suppOSED TO GIVE MY OPINION

but I'm just saying...hehehe

Am I saying that I hate white dudes?

No... I'm not.

Let me try and unwrinkle this

she... hates white dudes or-I...

I--er-- I just- eh

I don't understand

and for the 3rd time, I don't hate white dudes!

Whether you agree with her or not, I think

her politics is what muddled

people's opinion

about her, at least and I think that's fair.

you know, not everyone wants politics

in everything and that-see... it's getting

kind of annoying at this point.

I think what annoys me most out of all this

is the strawmanning of

'if you didn't like this

film, then that means you're a troll.'

or that you don't like seeing strong

female characters or yada, yada, yada

it's the same thing every time.

I stumbled upon this footage, for example

There are people who get very bent out of shape

about the fact that she's a woman

...that Brie's a woman and wants

to see women moving into an equal

place in humanity to men.

sad. must be sad to be that

kind of dinosaur wandering toward

the tar pits.

AHHHHH

YES!

THAT'S why Alita: Battle Angel was getting so much

hate as well! That's when people are bent out of

shape over that movie getting released

or Wonder Woman

or literally hundred of female

main character films

No one cares. No one is making this arguement

that people don't want

equality or seeing strong female characters

or whatever it was he said

and wants to see women moving into an equal

place in humanity to men

or that women can move an equal place

aside the men.

NO ONE IS SAYING THAT

NO ONE

Maybe, like, a very small percentage

but of course anyone that- that

disliked this film

you just dont want to see women moving into

the same place

You know what? People dont realise

how hard it is being a female news anchor

but you dont see me complaining about it

Now for a 100 times more imoportant news

Dog showed up for storytime at

library but nobody came to read to him

Awwhawwahw

Unfortunately, nobody signed up

to read to Sting at the

White Bear Lake library

I'm shaking and crying

What? Felix, this news was posted

a year ago, why are you talking about this now?

it is ? still? relevant ? goddamnit

Uh, Forbs attacks Pewdiepie. That's right!

They wrote this article saying: "It's time to unsubscribe from Pewdiepie Vs. T-Series."

oKaY

ALrigHt

They're basically saying: "Both channels have been irresponsible, prioritizing the attention growth of their channels

instead of helping to create a wHOLesoMe YOUtubE cOMmuniTy"

OWww...

Forbes just care about creating a WHOLESOME YOUTUBE COMMUNITY?

support the creators

The community is what got involved with this.

I didn't even start this whole thing...

*laughs*

It's the community that keeps it alive.

And they've done so many incredible things that I'm so proud of.

And the reason why they're bringing this up is because uhh...

A few days ago, it came up that

someone defaced a World War II memorial,