- Oh, right. - Listen to me, kiddo.

You're going to be fine. Believe me.

Uh-oh.

Uh..

I'll just pee in the street.

[knock on door]

- Hey, is Chandler here? - Yeah.

Okay, come here.

Okay, uh, about last night.

You know. Chandler. You didn't tell..

Okay, 'cause I'm thinking we don't need to tell Chandler

I mean, it was just a kiss right?

One kiss, no big deal. Right?

- Right, no big deal. - Okay.

In bizarro world!

- You broke the code. - What code?

You don't kiss your friend's mom.

Sisters are okay..

...maybe a hot-lookin' aunt, but not a mom.

Never a mom!

[screams]

What are you guys doing out here?

Uh, well, Joey and I had discussed

getting in an early-morning racquetball game.

But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.

Yeah, well, you don't have your racquet.

No, no, I don't because it's being restrung.

Somebody was supposed to bring me one.

Yeah. Well, you didn't call and leave your grip size.

You guys spend a way too much time together.

Okay, I'm scum. I'm scum!

Ross, how could you let this happen?

I don't know. God, I..

Well, it's not like she's a regular mom, y'know?

She's-she's sexy. She's...

You don't think my mom's sexy?

- Well, not in the same way. - Hey!

I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani

was a handsome woman in her day, alright?

You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?

Huh?

Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here.

- Hey. - Hey.

What are you guys doing out here?

Well, n-not playing racquetball!

He forgot to leave his grip size.

- He didn't get the goggles. - Oh.

Well...sounds like you two have issues.

- Bye, baby. - Ciao, bella.■

Do they wait for me to do this?

- So are you gonna tell? - No, I'm not going to tell him.

Why would I tell him?

How about 'cause if you, his mother might.

- Oh. - What are you guys doing here?

Uh...he's not even wearing a jock strap.

What did I ask?

- Oh, my God. - You're my friend.

I, I had to tell you.

I can't believe it.

Paolo kissed my mom?

Yeah, I mean, uh, I-I dont know

if you noticed but he had a lot to drink.

You know, I mean, you kknow how he gets when he's druu--

I can't do this. I did it.

It was me. I'm sorry.

- I kissed your mom. - What?

I...I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo

and I think I had too much tequila and Nora, um..

Mrs. Mom, your Bing, was uh...

She was just being nice, you know, and-and..

But nothing happened. Nothing. Ask Joey.

- Joey, uh, he came in.. - You knew about this?

Uh, you know, knowledge is a tricky thing, uhh..

I spent the entire day with you. Why didn't you tell me?

Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them

when I did, or else who knows what would have happened?

Thanks, man. Big help.

I can't believe this. What the hell were you thinking?

I wasn't. I-I don't know.

You know, of all my friends, no one knows the crap

I go through with my mom more than you.

- I know. I-- - I can't believe you did this!

- Chandler.. - Me neither, you know--

I'm still mad at you for not telling me.

- Chandler.. - Why you mad at me?

Let me slam the door!

Chandler, well, I didn't kiss her. He did!

See what happens when you break the code?

- Joey. - Ah. Uh.