- Pinky ring till I get a wedding ring.

- Oh, we going there?

- I am shocked at what I've heard today.

(talking over each other)

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, order in the court!

(dramatic music)

(intense music)

- Hi, my name is Judge Joyce,

and I've been settling petty disputes

since the day I was born because I'm a bad (bleep).

And I'm joined by my right-hander, Gadiel, my baliff.

- You know what it is

Plaintiff Kayline is bringing defendant Michael

to Petty Court today

as there has been endless debate

over the age old question,

can exes be friends?

Welcome to Petty Court, Michael and Kayline.

- Looking forward to today's ruling.

Hoping to finally put this issue in the past

and ready to move on.

- In the past.

Okay, all right.

- Let's hear the story from the plaintiff.

- Okay, I am bringing Michael here to court

because I do think in fact that exes can be friends,

seeing that we have been friends,

and in a relationship for about seven years.

We started out sophomore year of college,

as friends, and then eventually,

he left the friend zone,

and now I feel like it would make sense

that we would still be friends,

seeing that we started as friends.

- Okay okay, the defendant, speaks his case, Michael.

- As it pertains to this case, Your Honor,

in my opinion, I do not believe exes can be friends

for the following reasons.

The plaintiff has demonstrated jealous behavior in the past.

Which is detrimental to the wellbeing of the defendant,

myself, and anybody involved with the defendant,

so you can see how that can be problematic.

- Your Honor, may I interject,

just a little bit here?

- Absolutely, Kayline.

- Well, I would like to point out that the moment

that this person here is referring to,

is actually during college.

You know, college life, you're a little here and there,

everywhere, you don't really know

who you are just yet.

We are now three years out of college.

I think we have both shown signs of maturity

and I think that a friendship can in fact evolve.

- Your Honor, it's interesting

that we're having this discussion about exes,

seeing that Kayline and I are not exes

in the traditional sense.

- Oh, we going there?

Really?

- Yes ma'am, we are going there.

- Okay, okay!

- The court is-

- As the Drake line goes,

"Pinky ring 'til I get a wedding ring."

And Kayline and I,

I'd say we were in a seven year situationship.

If anything. - [Kayline] What?

- And, with that being said,

I don't even know why we're in the court today.

- First so all, okay,

because now you getting me out of my professional, okay-

- Order in the court!

Order in the court.

Kayline you may speak.

- Number one, I feel like that is the issue

with this generation,

and this is a prime example.

Investing time, investing love,

investing yourself into another person,

regardless of if it was boyfriend and girlfriend,

still counts as a relationship, regardless.

Number one, eh eh, eh eh-

(Kayline and Michael talk over each other)

- Aye aye, whoa whoa whoa, order in the court!

Before I get my bayliff, my hitter.

- Yeah it's order in the court, calm down.

- Thank you, and number two,

if I do go back to my history here,

I do want to make it clear

that we did in fact date for at least a week.

Now, I get it, I get it,

that's nothing technically compared

to the seven year time span, right?

But at the end of the day,

was this man not someone

that I told all of my deepest darkest secrets to.

Was this not the one man

that I went to laugh with, yes.

So I think that is an argument-

- Wasn't that the one man that you played?

(guitar strum)

- Oh.

- Okay Michael, please come to the court

and speak your truth.

I wish I had some wine, let's get started.

- In the past,

and you may be asking, you know,

why didn't it work out between the two of us?

I'm here today to tell you

that it didn't work out

because the plaintiff was unserious about the defendant.

Oftentimes, she left the defendant for other people,

while I was here, taking care of the home.

You can understand how a resentment can develop and build

in large part due to her failures to be a good partner.

- Before you answer, Kayline,

I will say something.

This relationship, it sounds like a friends with benefits.

I do know Kayline on a personal level,

so I know that she was probably protecting herself

and her heart, but in a relationship,

it takes two to make a failure.

So let's make sure in this court, we are honest,

because petty always has a little bit of truth.

- I just wanna say that when I was very serious

about making a commitment to this man,

he, himself, I get it, like he wanted to protect himself

at that point.

He was not serious.

So I do feel as though we have never been

on the same page, which could also resolved

into why we are now exes,

and I also want to say that exes can be friends

because number one, I can give you examples.

We have Jason Momoa, right?

And Lisa Bonet, they're together, right?

But before she was with Lenny Kravitz,

and Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet have a great relationship

and the two guys actually-

- Your Honor-

- I'm sorry, I'm speaking. I'm sorry.

They have matching rings.

'Cause they're just so close.

So they are able to coexist together.

Another example, Will Smith and Jada and Sheree, okay?

They are doing their thing,

and they are raising multiple children together,

and they are all friends, okay?

- There are many cases of relationships

that didn't go well, or haven't gone well.

Large case in point, Ciara and Future.

Their relationship is problematic.

- He was trash!

- That's debatable and hearsay, Your Honor.

- All right all right,

let's bring the witness to the stand.

- Actually, Your Honor, I object.

The defense has not had any prior knowledge

of this witness entering the courtroom.

- Well, it's petty, so,

let the witness come up.

- Witness, please introduce yourself.

- Hello, my name is Jameer, I'm Kayline's coworker.

- You have to say the whole truth, real truth,

and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

(Jameer imitates bird chirping)

- Yep.

(laughing)

- I (audio cuts out) word. Or a-

- Word. - Let's get started.

- First of all Your Honor,

I am shocked at what I've heard today.

They were spilling tea that I didn't expect to be so hot.

- This is Petty Court.

If it ain't hot, then it's not gonna be

in this (bleep) courtroom.

- [Jameer] That is very true.

- Word, you're right Your Honor.

- Your Honor I do believe

in some instances that exes can be friends.

I think it takes an enormous amount of maturity,

and it also depends on how people broke up

and if they have healed from their prior breakup.

- How was your prior experiences?

We know you recently ended a relationship

in the course of the year.

- First of all, I don't like Petty Court,

because we bringing up bones

that I didn't even ask to bring up.

- Please answer the judge.

- I am in a healthy

friendship phase with my ex.

I apologize for wrongdoings.

She has apologized for wrongdoings as well,

we have kept distance from each other

but also remained in communication

that is healthy

and forward moving.

And not on backside Your Honor,

and by backside let the record show,

I mean clap those cheeks.

Somebody in this court, stenographer gonna write that down.

You know, if you're gonna be friends,

you got to be friends,

and that means, you can't do anything.

Not even the tip, Your Honor.

- Not even a thumb.

- Is my ex attractive enough

where you know, I would want to clap, sure, sure.

In a perfect world-

(clapping)

- [Judge Joyce] Mm-hmm.

- But I know I can't

because there are barriers and parameters

in which I have to protect.

- All right your honor,

we had enough of this man.

We're gonna bring the plaintiff and defendant.

- Just want to say what up to my, you know, my family,

what up y'all, woo hoo.

- All right, you can leave, thank you.

- [Jameer] Okay okay, bye.

- Have a good day.

Okay, I do want something to discuss.

A question I have for the defendant and plaintiff.

What is your sexual chemistry?

- Um.

- Your honor, I'd like

to exercise my Fifth Amendment Right to...

- Plead the Fifth?

- Plead the Fifth, yes, I'd like to plead the Fifth.

- What is your sign, your chart?

Please commence.

- Well I am a Cancer.

- Mm-hmm.

- Your honor, I am a Capricorn.

- Mmm.

- Do you see Gadiel, do you see what I'm saying?

- I do, I see what you're saying.

- You know, Water and Earth, Water and Earth.

Complete opposites, definitely someone,

Capricorn I can tell,

Michael that you are someone who comes

from a very balanced world,

but your issue is that you are not

as forgiving as you should be

because you hold people to the standards

that you have for yourself,

which is already too high,

which puts you in a place of constantly trying

to reach a goal

without ever realizing all the success you already have,

and you miss out on the fun parts of things.

Cancer, I mean let's talk about it.

I'm born and bred from a Cancer,

surrounded by Cancers, most of my hoes are Cancer.

I can't escape you.

The problem is that you guys don't know how to let go.

It's the issue of loving and caring

and appreciating someone so much,

that once that person cracks the shell,

they sit in the (bleep) little spot under your shell,