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  • [Overcoming shyness. How to be a better you?]

    「内気な性格を克服 — より良い自分になる方法とは?」

  • Well, the best way to recognize if you're shy is that you're going to have an extreme focus on yourself.


  • You'll be more focused on you than your environment, and you'll be more focused on you than the people around you.


  • And most likely, you will dread any type of interaction or connection with another person.


  • Even though you most likely really long for that.


  • You know, the biggest problem that a shy person has is that they label themselves as shy.


  • And when we label ourselves as shy, we act like a shy person would.


  • And people don't naturally gravitate towards a shy person because we could feel their discomfort.


  • So, the best thing that you could do is to challenge yourself by going into social situations that you either know somebody that you trust,


  • that you can really rely on to help you overcome that initial first step,

  • which is always the most difficult, or you can really put the focus onto somebody else.

  • The great news for a shy person is that people are so self-absorbed, they love to talk about themselves.


  • So all you need to do is ask a question as simple or easy as "How was your day?"


  • And the other person will start talking and you can be more focused on them than you.


  • And sooner or later, you will find that the only reason why you are shy is because you thought that you were.


  • There's not necessarily a strategy for a small group or for a large group,

    小さなグループにはこう、大きなグループにはこう、というような戦略があるわけではありません。でも、内気な人にとって大きなグループは、その状況は当然もっと圧倒されてしまうものでしょう。7人くらいのグループとではなく、7 人なら何とかなりそうですが、20 人、30 人、50 人のグループと向き合うのは、とにかく圧倒されてしまうと思います。

  • but I think that, you know, when there's a bigger group of people for a shy person,

  • that situation is naturally more overwhelming instead of needing to deal with the seven,

  • which could seem manageable, dealing with 20 or 30 or 50 could seem just completely overwhelming.

  • So, that's where you really want to focus on your breathing and you want to break the room down.


  • And what I mean by that is that you just have to focus on the person who's in front of you.


  • Set yourself up for some kind of challenge and then a reward.


  • You know, no matter how many people are at this event tonight, I'm going to speak with three people.

    例えば、今夜どれだけたくさんの人が行事に参加しているとしても、自分は 3 人とだけ話すんだ、とか。

  • Create your intentions before you go to the events.


  • I'm going to have a meaningful conversation.


  • I know for myself, when I used to go out to all the bars and all the clubs before I was engaged, I always had the intention to have a meaningful conversation.


  • And I didn't care if it was with a bartender or a girl in the bathroom or a guy who was trying to, you know, hit on me.


  • It was this idea of really wanting to make a deep and meaningful connection in a place where people don't usually have deep and meaningful connections.


[Overcoming shyness. How to be a better you?]

「内気な性格を克服 — より良い自分になる方法とは?」

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今日から出来る!「人見知り」を克服する方法(How to Overcome Shyness | Better You)

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    doris.lai に公開 2020 年 10 月 17 日