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  • (serene music)

  • - I grew up in a mega church in the South

  • with one of those huge stadium style

  • places with the jumbotron screens.

  • So, when my dad's endodontist, stick with me,

  • asked if I wanted to join him in a team of adults

  • on a mission trip to Ethiopia, I said, "yeah."

  • I was so stoked.

  • When we arrived at the airport,

  • we were greeted by our translator and liaison,

  • who was a local Addis woman named, Donick.

  • Now Donick had received her formal education in London,

  • so she had a pristine BBC accent,

  • a gorgeous flowing head of hair and the most

  • piercing perfect eyes I'd ever seen on a human.

  • She went down the line of our team and hugged everyone

  • and when she got to me, she took my face in her hands

  • and she said, "you're so small to be here,

  • you're like a little bird."

  • that night, the local church that had set up our trip,

  • sent us to an incredibly opulent dinner,

  • they were like, "well, you guys

  • are American, you love excess."

  • so we go, we're eating Injera, it's delicious

  • and these women come out and perform

  • this sort of erotic traditional Ethiopian dance.

  • They have staffs, they're all beautiful, they're dancing.

  • I don't know how I mustered the way at all,

  • but I turned to Donick and I remember I said,

  • "can you do that dance?"

  • and she looked me dead in the eye and she said,

  • "before your trip is through,

  • I'll dance for you, that's a promise."

  • The weeks go on, Donick and I are getting closer

  • and closer, one thing that is important to mention is,

  • she's 23, I'm 17 and she is engaged

  • to be married to her Conservative

  • Christian Ethiopian fiance, David.

  • One day we're riding on a public bus,

  • which is essentially, an emptied out VW van

  • and, an older gentlemen was chewing on a root

  • and he handed it to me and he motioned

  • for me to chew on it as well and being a yes man,

  • I said, "sure."

  • so I started gnawing on it.

  • As soon as Donick saw what I was doing,

  • she whipped out of my hands and said,

  • "no, don't do that, you mustn't."

  • it was in fact, a hallucinogenic root

  • that locals would chew on and use recreationally.

  • So next thing I know, I'm riding in this van,

  • I don't know what's happening,

  • lights were flashing, Donick has three faces at one point,

  • I was so done, I mean my palms were sweating,

  • my jaw was clenching, I was hearing Crimson and Clover

  • playing in my head, like I was done, love of my life.

  • A couple of weeks later, the trip was coming to an end

  • and Donick as she snaked her way through

  • the crowd of people, said, "come upstairs with me."

  • she took me upstairs to the room

  • that I had occupied in this hostel

  • that had now been stripped of all its bedding

  • and she sat me in a chair in the corner

  • and she closed the door behind her

  • and then she did the dance.

  • She did this beautiful, ancient dance

  • that was so holy to her culture

  • and she was sharing it with me, silently

  • and it rattled such a passion in me

  • and such an experience that I physically shook.

  • I became crying and I remember thinking,

  • she's going to know that I love her

  • and in that moment, I had to face the thing

  • that I had been running from for so many years,

  • which was not just a crisis of faith or culture,

  • it was the fact that I am gay and that

  • was a word I had not used consciously before that moment.

  • She finished the dance and she kissed me on the cheek

  • and she left and didn't ever see her again.

  • I think back on how malleable I was at that time

  • and the myriad love affairs I've had since then,

  • there truly has not been an experience

  • that was that profound and I never even kissed this woman.

  • I heard years later, that Donick had married David

  • and she has a couple of kids.

  • I don't know what her experience was on the other side.

  • I don't know that I'm supposed to,

  • I don't think that it's mine to know.

  • But what I do know is that, she and I

  • existed in a sort of holiness together for that brief time.

  • Not the overt holiness a Christian

  • do bidding a philanthropy, but

  • the quiet, intimate holiness of loving someone

  • in secret and loving someone, completely against reason.

  • Soul Pancake

  • (upbeat electronic music)

(serene music)

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B1 中級

その瞬間、あなたはあなたがゲイであることを実現 (That Moment You Realize You're Gay)

  • 7 0
    jeremy.wang に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
動画の中の単語