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  • -Brené Brown, thank you so much for being on our show.

  • I really appreciate it.

  • How are you and where are you?

  • -I -- We're doing okay.

  • And we are -- there are 12 of us

  • quarantined between two houses,

  • one in Austin and one in Houston.

  • So it's sisters, families.

  • We got my mom out of assisted living with a tuck and roll

  • at the last minute when they were closing the doors,

  • which was great. -Wow.

  • -And then, yeah, so we got a big crew.

  • -Five "New York Times" best sellers.

  • You did a TED Talk on vulnerability that's gotten

  • over 60 million views by the way.

  • And then you have this Netflix special

  • which I think was the first Netflix special

  • where they just aired a lecture, that's crushing.

  • And now you have a new weekly podcast.

  • You're busy, busy, busy.

  • For people that don't know you, can you explain what you do?

  • -Yeah. I've spent the last two decades,

  • a little bit more, studying the emotions

  • that kind of define what it means to be human.

  • So I study vulnerability, courage, shame, empathy.

  • So, I'm a researcher.

  • I'm a professor at the University of Houston.

  • I also have a professorship at UT Austin.

  • -Wow. Oh, UT Austin, I love it.

  • We were just there. It was great.

  • -Oh, my God. It was so fun!

  • -We had the best time. -I loved watching it.

  • It was great. -Oh, you did see it?

  • I love that you saw it. -Oh, my God. I totally saw it.

  • -You're doing the -- like a virtual commencement

  • for the graduating class, aren't you?

  • -I am. I'm doing the commencement this year.

  • -Oh, my gosh! What an honor. That's great.

  • -Yeah. We're going to do a virtual one

  • and then when we can meet again,

  • they're going to do an-in person one.

  • 'Cause I mean, the UT commencement is

  • 25,000 people in person, so it's an event.

  • -Do you have any idea what you're going to tell

  • these kids, or any nuggets?

  • -You know, I think what I would tell anybody right now

  • and including these graduates, I think everyone's

  • bull [bleep] meter is really sensitive right now.

  • So, I think it's just straight talk.

  • -Yep. -I think it's, you know,

  • "Hey, take a look. Here's the big secret.

  • Adults, we're just winging it.

  • Like, we don't know what's going on," so...

  • -No one knows. Yeah, no one knows what's going on.

  • What is an FFT?

  • Can you tell people what that is?

  • -Yeah, I'll edit it for y'all for TV,

  • but it's an effin' first time,

  • and it's so helpful because there is a process

  • you can follow when you find yourself doing things

  • for the first time.

  • And it's important because let me tell you,

  • first times are super vulnerable.

  • And most adults get to a place in our -- we get to a place

  • in our lives where we don't want to do anything

  • that we're not already good at doing,

  • 'cause we don't want to be that vulnerable

  • and we don't want to suck.

  • -Interesting. Yeah. -Right?

  • We don't want to suck at something,

  • so we're going to take that new class

  • or try that new way of doing something.

  • But unfortunately, that muscle that we use

  • when we do first things is the life blood.

  • It's the juice. It's the secret sauce to life.

  • That discomfort, that awkward, my kids would call cringy,

  • that cringiness, that's important.

  • so I did a podcast on FFT saying, listen,

  • let's talk about the pandemic.

  • It's an FFT for all of us.

  • And so the three things that are super helpful is -- name it.

  • You know, I don't know, like the first big fight

  • I got into with my husband was --

  • I was like, "This is what we should be doing!"

  • He goes like, "How many pandemics have you been in?"

  • I'm like, "Oh, criminy, I don't know."

  • This is our first pandemic. This is our first quarantine.

  • -Wow. That's good one.

  • -Yeah, so name it.

  • Perspective take --

  • Like, this is going to end at some point.

  • This is not going to last forever.

  • And then the third thing is reality check expectations.

  • Like, nothing is going to go like we had planned.

  • And I put the podcast out right when teachers were

  • going to online learning, and the teachers are like,

  • "Oh, my God. This is the biggest FFT."

  • I'm like -- -Yeah. Can you imagine that?

  • -No, I can't. -Yeah. It's just --

  • I can't even imagine you have to teach all these kids

  • through this computer and you got to make sure

  • they're paying attention and that they're doing the work --

  • it's just like, who knows what is going on?

  • And I think for the most part everyone is doing a great job.

  • -Teachers are crushing it. -Yeah.

  • -And it's not easy either 'cause you know those kids

  • are on, you know, "Smash Bros" or "Fortnite."

  • You know? -Yeah, they're not even --

  • -You know, like -- 'Cause you know you and I would be.

  • In fact, I got busted the other day in a Zoom call

  • because I was like, what is this weird feedback?

  • And then I Googled feedback on Zoom

  • and it said someone's on their phone probably.

  • And it's causing interference. I was like, "Oh, my God."

  • -So you were looking at every screen going,

  • who's on their phone? -No, it was me.

  • -Oh, it was you? -Oh, totally.

  • Oh, totally.

  • -For everyone going through this tough time right now,

  • is there anything that you can think of

  • that it's going to come out better and stronger?

  • I mean, obviously, it will. I think we will.

  • But what do you say to somebody who's like,

  • "What's going to happen? What are we doing?"

  • -Here's what I know -- here's the only thing I know for sure.

  • And I would really be skeptical of anyone that knew

  • everything or anything certain.

  • I know for sure that we will have a huge opportunity

  • to be better than we were before we went into it.

  • I know for sure that a crisis like this shines a light

  • on fault lines in our communities

  • and our families and our country, in our services.

  • And we're seeing that.

  • We're seeing disproportionately affected people.

  • We're seeing -- we'll have an opportunity

  • as we come out of this to say, you know what?

  • We're not going to let this continue.

  • This is not who we want to be as a country.

  • And so, I think for sure we'll have an opportunity

  • to be better and I hope we seize it.

  • I know there will be more trauma coming out of this,

  • especially for those of you in the epicenter.

  • There'll be more trauma than we expect.

  • And I know that we're stronger than we think.

  • -So true.

  • We ask everyone who comes on our show

  • if they'd like to bring up a charity that they work with

  • or something they just want to shine a little light on.

  • -Yeah. -And you chose thehotline.org.

  • What is the hotline?

  • -So, it's a domestic violence hotline.

  • And it has been, you know,

  • it's a hotline, but its also been a life line

  • long before this crisis.

  • And it will continue to be a life line after this crisis.

  • But one of the things I think it's really important for me

  • to help people understand is there's a crisis

  • inside this crisis.

  • And that not everyone who has to stay at home right now

  • is safe at home.

  • And so, you know, when you have things like

  • financial insecurity, uncertainty, fear,

  • it can bring out the worst in already violent situations.

  • So this hotline is a way for people to get support,

  • hope, strategy.

  • Survivors are tough, amazing, resilient people,

  • but they need support.

  • And one of the tools of domestic violence is isolation.

  • So check on people.

  • And have the hotline. If you see something --

  • because we are closer to our neighbors now --