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  • So this week as I'm turning 30 years old

  • I thought today while I was down the supermarket, I'd treat myself to a little birthday present

  • You know, buy myself something really good. And I splashed big on this rather

  • Exquisite and luxurious hat. I won't lie

  • it wasn't the stylish design or a hundred yen price tag that led me to buy this how it was the little bit of

  • Aspirational English text written on the front of the Hat which simply reads "are you excited? Let's adventure special everyday"

  • You know I read down I thought "yeah, I am excited!"

  • "Let's adventure special everyday" just saying it out loud makes me feel incredibly motivated and coincidentally

  • It's a great way to kick off a conversation on tinder or bear with questionable results

  • But I find the Hat goes very well with my new shirt, which of course just says "has high functionality" together

  • It's quite the combination isn't it? If there wasn't a global pandemic right now, be out on the streets of Tokyo taking the world by storm

  • But there is... so that won't be happening. The Hat wasn't the only thing I bought down at the supermarket though

  • I also bought some lunch. Um, This baguette, or as it's known, in my store, Hmm. Nicestick. Nicedick

  • I suppose I've got a point who can't honestly say they love the taste of nicestick

  • Japan has an exciting relationship with the English language on many levels,

  • particularly when it comes to marketing, because even though English proficiency is pretty rare here. The English language is surprisingly common

  • I mean

  • I was pretty shocked when I first moved here and found myself surrounded by my native language, and coming as an English teacher

  • I thought oh good

  • maybe I won't need to work so hard because people here are

  • Immersed in it every single day and that was until I took a closer look and realized it is English

  • Just not quite as we know it... Wait a minute. That's not Indiana Jones. That's Jindiana Jones

  • a Smorking-Room why is that Baked Sand. I can't eat that. Rib finger. Moist with me! I'll do no such thing

  • I quickly learned despite the staggering amount of English here in everyday life

  • Nobody actually reads it, and the perfect example of this is when I was a teacher

  • I had a really grumpy student who hated me. He hated everything I stood for

  • He used to lean on his desk next to a pile of unopened textbooks,

  • giving me the look of death and all the while upon his desk next to the unopened textbooks

  • There was a big metallic pencil case written across it in big bold English words was the phrase "Boy. We're happy in every respect"

  • Happy in every respect. It was brilliant because he definitely wasn't to be honest

  • I could never work out if he simply didn't understand the meaning of the English in his pencil case, or if he was secretly a

  • master of irony, you know, heh so

  • Nah, it's the first one. It's definitely the first one. In the months that followed

  • I would learned that, there's actually a phrase for this in Japan "Kazari Eigo" literally

  • Decoration English. Because English in Japan is most commonly used as a form of cheap

  • decorations and prestige, or value to a product and because so few people here understand it, the companies that

  • Plaster English all over their products and items rarely bother to check that it makes any sense

  • By how many times has a boy come up to you and said "Boy. We are happy in every respect"

  • Now Let's go and have some Baked Sand and and some Rib Fingers and watch Jndiana Jones together

  • I don't know about youth but I've never had that conversation, and I don't particularly want to... but somebody who studied linguistics for three years

  • It's quite interesting to approach this from a academic perspective

  • you know how Japanese thinking is reflected through this non-native speaker English in the rhetoric and the phrases but as a sarcastic

  • XPat, it's even better because there's funny words. haha, roast sparelibs

  • To be honest don't want to focus on low-hanging fruit though, on simple spelling mistakes like "roast sparelibs"

  • I want to focus on those big Japanese English

  • Marketing slogans that look like real English at first until appear closer and realize something is fundamentally wrong

  • prepare for rain

  • Rain drop is a drop of water with the size of more than 0.5 millimeters in diameter and comes down from the sky. MWAHAHAHA

  • Who knew rain could sound so genuinely terrifying. first off though it's important to point out that in the same way

  • Japan uses English on premium goods such as this we're just as guilty in the West as well

  • For example, super dry, which has absolutely no association with Japan. It's a British clothing company, but that nonsensical assortment of Japanese

  • Kanji characters is enough to make a Japanese person's head crash

  • Well fun. Then of course

  • They're the folks to get japanese kanji characters as tattoos without doing any real homework who just pick out of a book and unsurprisingly

  • It goes spectacularly wrong. What might check this out right got a new Japanese tattoo. Yeah, right. Fantastic

  • Let's have a look. It says honor and courage eternal. Yes honor and courage eternal. Things I believe in it

  • Yes, it doesn't actually say that though. It says "Uma ni Akogareru" which literally translates as I long for horses

  • What

  • Famously last year ariana grande was guilty of this when she got a tattoo for seven rings her new album

  • Unaware that those two characters in Japanese are read as "shichi rin" literally a small charcoal grill

  • Although as someone with a love of barbecue nothing seemed off to me. In fact, I'm still working out

  • What I want is my first Japanese tattoo and small charcoal grill. Well, it could be just the ticket

  • But for me the essence of what makes Japanese English marketing so great is it actually sounds almost, correct?

  • But there's just something fundamentally wrong, something off that makes it a little bit... confusing

  • For example, there is a beef restaurant in Sendai or on the subject of barbecue

  • I tend to walk past quite often and often catches my attention because it's got this big red desperate looking sign up front written

  • entirely in English and it simply says

  • this is extremity of luxury to bite into chunky meat how juicy and tasty

  • It's beyond the description. the extremity of luxury

  • It's a miracle that I've never gone in, but ah, that that lied at the end. It's beyond the description

  • I love the way they wrote that despite using three whole sentences to describe the very sensation of biting into chunky meat

  • But it's the classic example. It makes perfect sense. It's just awkward and

  • confusing a little bit scary to be honest, for example

  • If your waiter walked over to you and said who wants to bite into this chunky meat. Yes. I think it's time to leave now

  • Still at least the restaurant made an effort to promote their food in a positive way could have been a whole lot worse like another

  • restaurant, but I did walk into and

  • Instantly regretted it when I flipped open the menu to reveal a dish and alarmingly branded as soy sauce reckoning of the cream cheese

  • Soy sauce reckoning of the cream cheese. How did that go so wrong?

  • It sounds less like an appetizing dish and more like some kind of torture like waterboarding

  • But with soy sauce and cream cheese thrown in it's quite common for words like that to put me off

  • Food in general. Like the other day. I was at the supermarket and I saw some rather delicious looking cookies

  • I went out to reach them to buy them and then my eye caught the little

  • Description of them in English on the side the box which said "it's a cookie baked in brown"

  • Baked in what?

  • Cookie baked in brown by using enough fruits that fully bathed in the blessing of the Sun too delicious for you

  • Yes, that's right. Not 1 delicious but 2 delicious for you. So mouth-watering with a cookies baked in brown. What does that even mean?

  • I've had cookies baked in an oven. I've had cookies out of a microwave, but I've never had a cookie baked in brown

  • Have you? I've not. for some reason,

  • I've noticed Japanese marketing loves to

  • Exaggerate where the fruit has come from like turned through into some sort of magical thing for example here

  • We've got fruit that's been bathed in the blessings of the Sun. Which to be honest does sound quite good

  • Would you like some cherries? No, not really

  • Do you like cherries bathed in the blessings of the Sun? You bet my fucking word?

  • In a previous video, I've uncovered a box of orange flavored cookies, and that time they weren't simply referred to as oranges

  • they were branded as

  • Delicious presents from the sky as if God had stuffed half a dozen oranges into a sack and thrown it through the gates of heaven

  • Down to the peasants below. Some of the marketing might not go down

  • So well in the West for other reasons. take this cutting board for instance. cheap convenient and full of assumptions. It is a space-saving

  • multifunctional cutting board that a housewife thought about

  • Definitely. It's exactly what a housewife thought about get back in the kitchen with your multifunctional space-saving cutting board and make me my dinner

  • Housewife!

  • Ridiculous, but if you really want to go down the rabbit hole of crazy

  • Japanese-english marketing look no further than everyday household items

  • Because in Japanese marketing companies like to emphasize how the product will make you feel when you use it. combined that ethos with

  • Decoration English and it's a recipe for disaster and excellence. For example, here's a range of products

  • I've bought, and I'd like to take you on a journey through a hypothetical day where you'd use each one of these bizarrely branded products

  • You start the day by waking up and climbing into the shower to use your favorite brand of shampoo

  • And you don't even need to use the shampoo to know what it feels like because they've described the entire

  • sensation on the front of the packaging

  • "Washing my hair. Just a custom that colors my life. Wrapped in fragrance. Just a small scent that lit a spark."

  • "Falling in love with it. Before knowing, someone started caressing my head."

  • "Before knowing someone started caressing my hair?" See, you up until that line. It was going pretty well

  • Wasn't it? before it started to conjure up images of Bill Cosby?

  • But of course after having your shower, I donno about you, but

  • I like to put some cream on my face to get rid of those spots

  • Keep my pores clean, especially after all those long nights out eating chunky meat and rib fingers and as a guy I like to choose

  • vegeboy vegebody

  • cool cute, sexy

  • macho all of those and more

  • Whatever you want to be boys have to look smart the cream which gives a smart impression for a business boy

  • I don't about you, but I do like to give the smart impression for a business boy. That is why I choose vegeboy

  • Exclusively vegeboy. Preparing to go to work. You start to pack your bag

  • but all the things you need to have a successful day in my case a

  • Motivational notebook with a little quote on the front. to fire me up and get me inspired

  • It says you alone can change your life

  • No one else can fucking yeah have a really fun day meow-meow-meow meow-meow. Brilliant

  • That's my motivational cat notebook. And of course, you'll never quite know when you'll need a stapler. So let's take my stapler

  • this was a confusing purchase for medley and I mean

  • It's not every day you buy a stapler called stick Kyle. at first

  • I thought this might be a pen but luckily there is a little bit of text under sticky Kyle that says "is this a pen?"

  • "No, this is a stapler." Oh, thank God that cleared up any ambiguity surrounding the stapler. sometimes

  • I wish all products would solve their ambiguously crap packaging with such useful marketing. Is it a teaspoon?

  • No, it's vegeboy. Think of all the time you'd save down the supermarket

  • So I've got my bag packed and ready to go, but actually the bag itself comes littered with

  • Inspirational English quotes, let's see what invaluable insights we can find

  • For a good life, you need good stuff brilliant. I'd never have thought of that myself words of wisdom to stick on your world

  • I am happy and enchanted as if I were in a dream and enchanted with beautiful flowers in front of me. aww, that's nice

  • Isn't it. sounds like the last sentence you'd hear before Someone stuffed an axe through your skull?

  • What kind of dream are you having? a nightmare.

  • But I've saved the best till last. I donno about you, but when I give presents to family and friends

  • I like to put them in a gift bag littered with

  • insanity

  • with quotes so bizarre and so obscene they

  • Overshadow the very gift held within. as I read these quotes out remember somebody in a room actually dreamt these up at some point

  • So what do we got. "for beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it"

  • What? who felt that was an appropriate thing to stick on a gift bag at time of celebration?

  • Next. "For a slim figure share your food with the hungry."

  • Definitely. It's the only way to a slim figure sounds like a quote from a disapproving grandmother who's reckless comments led their grandchild to have

  • an eating disorder

  • never throw out anybody a Burglar?

  • as you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands

  • What is that. life hacks from Po*nhub? people even more than things have to be restored renewed revived reclaimed and redeemed redeemed

  • redeemed redeemed

  • I think that last line confirms why I suspected all along the English on this bag of the dying words of a broken robot

  • Who just wanted to be loved. or someone who's completely off their rockers. So there you have it

  • We've been on quite the Odyssey today through Japanese English marketing through the mysteries of Engrish

  • But what was your favorite quote and would you watch Jndiana Jones? Let me know in the comments below

  • I still don't know what you Jndiana Jones is it was a magazine

  • I found. I wish I bought that magazine in hindsight

  • biggest regret of

  • 2020 so far. and the next time you come to Japan keep an eye out because you never know what gems you might find as

  • you open a restaurant menu devour some chunky meat or eat a cookie baked in brown

  • That's all for now though guys as always many thanks for watching. I'll see you next time

  • I'm off to celebrate what's left of my 30th birthday by eating this delicious

  • Nice stick and if you want to make my 30th birthday complete

  • Why not subscribe to the abroad in Japan Channel. statistically apparently half of all regular viewers are subscribed

  • They just type abroad in Japan into the search box every time. there's an easier way my friends

  • and Oh

  • God

  • Smells absolutely

  • disgusting. "nicestick"? more like "crapstick" all that build-up for nothing. screw this I'm off to get some

  • Baked Sand

So this week as I'm turning 30 years old

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日本の英語がひどく間違っている場合 (When English in Japan Goes HORRIBLY Wrong)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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