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  • -Hey, guys, with quarantine happening,

  • I've been talking to everyone

  • I can possibly talk to in the house.

  • My wife is nodding.

  • Anyone I can talk to, but I'm also FaceTiming

  • and Skyping and Zooming.

  • But turns out not just me, also my dog is doing it.

  • Take a look.

  • -Oh, good chat with you, bud.

  • I love you.

  • [ Birds chirping in distance ]

  • [ Ringing ]

  • [ Chime ] -Jeremy!

  • -Gary? -My Lizard!

  • -Oh, Gary, I miss you, dog! -Oh, what is going on?

  • It's been forever!

  • -I don't know. Whatever is going on is insane.

  • I don't know what day it is.

  • I don't change my colors anymore.

  • I haven't shed my skin in literally weeks.

  • -I know, right? I mean I always wish

  • they were home more often, but this is crazy.

  • I feel like I pissed off a genie or something.

  • -[ Laughs ] That's funny, I think.

  • I'm dumb. Apparently, my brain's the size of a basketball.

  • -Well, basketballs are big, Jeremy.

  • -See, dumb. I can't keep my balls straight.

  • -Oh, and they put me in this show.

  • -That's cool, right? -Ugh! It's embarrassing.

  • Look at Gary, the silly monkey dog.

  • Isn't it funny? We gave her a man's name!

  • -I'm a freakin' bearded dragon named Jeremy.

  • I should be called something fierce

  • like Viper or Firestorm --

  • Queen Dragasaurus!

  • Jeremy sounds like a guy from HR

  • no one wants to talk to at a holiday party.

  • -You know what, Jer? How about it?

  • You and me, we bust out of here!

  • -Bust out? -You sneak out of your house.

  • I sneak out of mine. And we get the hell out of here

  • and finally start the band!

  • -The first bearded dragon golden retriever

  • metal band ever -- Rabid Dragon!

  • -Jer! -Oh, shoot, hold on.

  • -Jer, where are you? -She's coming.

  • -How did you get over here? -Gary, I'll talk to you later.

  • Okay? I got to go.

  • She's putting me back in that invisible box thing.

  • -I love you, Jeremy.

  • I'll see you soon again, I promise.

  • Ugh, people. We're just toys to them.

  • Well, the next time I see that woman,

  • I'm going to give her a piece of my --

  • -Gary? Hi, honey. -Oh, my God, it's you!

  • I know you! I love you! I love everything I recognize!

  • -Who's a good girl? -I am! I'm the best girl.

  • Did you see me on the show? Huh?

  • Did ya?! Did ya?! Yay!

  • Everything is new again!

  • -My thanks to Gary who sounds a little bit like

  • my pal Drew Barrymore,

  • and of course, Jeremy, who sounds a little bit like

  • my pal Cameron Diaz. Ah, whatever.

  • It was great to hear from both of those animals.

-Hey, guys, with quarantine happening,


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ゲーリー・ザ・ドッグはジェレミー・ザ・リザードにインタビュー (Gary the Dog Interviews Jeremy the Lizard)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日